January 4, 2003 – Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA

Set One

Llama — 4:50
Welcome to Day 4 of the New Year’s 2002 inverted run! We begin with an exciting, fast version of “Llama” and it’s, like, are you kidding? I never looked up these lyrics! “Llama doo wah it is it is, llama to boot to boot”? Am I even close.

I like it when Page turns on the organ synths. He really shines here. They all do. One hell of a show opener, honestly. High energy, no major fuck-ups. Here’s hoping the rest of the show follows suit!

Boogie on Reggae Woman — 7:05
THE STEVIE WONDER STAPLE. “Boogie on Reggae Woman” turns up the funk to nine and then adds another two, boyeeee. Enjoy it while it lasts, because we’re about to get sleepier in about seven minutes and five seconds.

Roggae — 9:32
Funny thing, I used to get “Boogie on Reggae Woman” mixed up with “Roggae” and I really wish they would just mash them up and make a “Boogie on Roggae Woman” and no one would enjoy it but me.

I think “Roggae” is a slow song, but it starts getting kind of heavy at 2:45 so I can’t complain too hard. It always sounds like a hazy fever dream to me, though, and maybe I don’t like experiencing hazy fever dreams! “Roggae” can take a hike!

Maze — 12:20
Now we’re talkin’! I love me a good “Maze”, all twisty and turny like a real maze. The beginning is just slightly off, but Trey brings the vocal vim and vigor! Then he really nails it during the jam. He revs and drills. Fire! As the kids say.

Page has a cool solo at around 3:30 that sounds like acoustic string plucking at first, then launches into synthesized organ goodness. Gets kind of weird too, and Mike tries desperately to keep up with his thumping bass. It’s like if sex were bottled up and frozen into molasses and then poured into your ears, clogging them up and causing a hospital visit.

Anything but Me — 6:05
There’s a reason why most of the songs off of Round Room don’t get much play, and “Anything but Me” is yet another good example. Such a fucking momentum killer, this one. Slow and sleepy surf ballad, they might as well bring in a ukulele and pluck everyone a nice, little lullaby. This one has only been played 12 times, last one in 2011. Don’t expect a bust out anytime soon.

Ya Mar — 9:53
Oh look, everyone’s favorite vaguely bluegrass-adjacent Mike Gordon vehicle where he sings like shit and everyone has to deal with it. Trey’s solo is a little stilted, but the vibes are there. They might as well bring in a ukulele and pluck everyone a nice, little lullaby. But they already did that!

Saw It Again — 6:42
I don’t really know much about “Saw It Again”, but I need to bust out my “S” volume of my encyclopedia and look up more about this song because it’s aces, sir. It kind of reminds of the crunchy, slightly angry “Carini” in its moody progression. Trey actually sounds like a guitar player! Fish crashes those cymbals like nobody’s business! Page free-jazzes those keys! Mike… well, Mike plays the bass. We know this about Mike.

The “Saw It Again” refrain throughout is cool as shit. Imagine thinking that Phish is just some granola hippie-ass band like Grateful Dead, and then you see them play “Saw It Again”. Your dick will melt right into your socks. Or your vagina might melt. Let’s not be sexist.

Bouncing Around the Room — 3:51
The antithesis of “Saw It Again” is this fancy free little number that proves Phish is, at its core, hopelessly lame. What’s even more lame is my enjoyment of “Bouncing Around the Room”, since the melody is brilliant and the guitar licks are so absolutely fucking happy. How can you hate it?

Imagine thinking that Phish is just some granola hippie-ass band like Grateful Dead, and then you see them play “Bouncing Around the Room”. Then you realize that they’re just a bunch of virgins.

Split Open and Melt — 12:42
“Split Open and Melt” is probably my favorite long-form Phish jam vehicle. The solos are always so furious and tense and urgent, although this one takes a bit of time to get going. Trey’s keeping it weird, and everything gets a bit Type II-ey by about 8:15. Most of it at this point is drone-based until they kick back into a proper Type I jam at 10:30 and then return to the melody proper about a minute later.

A solid “Melt”! A good way to end Set One, which was decent enough overall. Here’s hoping we get some tasty jams in Set Two, friends! FRIENDS! You’re my friends, and I mean it.

Set Two

Rock and Roll — 12:00
The Velvet Underground! I know them. Lou Reed! He’s dead now, of course, but his legacy lives on in some shitty Phish cover. It’s amazing to me that the first time this was ever played was during the Loaded “musical costume” of Halloween, 1998. It’s become such a staple, being played pretty much four or five times (on average) every year since its debut.

The cool thing about “Rock and Roll” is that the jam is always some straightly-played bluesy stuff. I can get behind that. I like classic rock! Except for Crosby, Stills, and Nash. That stuff is for dorks.

Mike’s Song — 10:59
Hey, did you know that Mike gets his own song? He sings, too! Granted, he couldn’t sing his way out of a paper vagina, but God bless him for trying.

They settle into a nice groove around 3:15 and maintain it throughout the rest of the song. Mike’s song. This ain’t anyone else’s song. They should really just have Mike play it alone one day, just plucking the bass all by himself. Friendless.

Mountains in the Mist — 7:36
Usually “I Am Hydrogen” is the cream in the middle of the “Mike’s Song”/”Weekapaug Groove” sandwich, especially in these earlier days, but they opt for “Mountains in the Mist” this time. A tune so Beatles-esque that you’d think it was a Beatles song, but no. This is a Trey Anastasio original, and don’t you forget it… until next time they play it, then I’ll forget again.

Speaking of THIS song, what a boring jam! I’m falling asleep here, mostly because I’m listening to Phish in my living room at 2am on a Saturday instead of going to the club and ogling all the ladies. Which I would never do, I swear. I hate leaving the house.

Weekapaug Groove — 11:17
Yeah buddy, “Groove” is the shit. And what a groove this one is! Lead mostly by Fish’s shuffle. But, man, the funk is strong with this one. It makes me want to get up and dance at the club while I ogle the ladies which I would never do, I swear.

What’s the Use? — 7:00
“What’s the Use?” is right. This is basically an ambient coda to “Weekapaug Groove”. In fact, it happened so seamlessly that I didn’t even notice that it slipped into a new song until 3:30 in.

Hard pass.

Down with Disease — 10:29
I’ll probably say this every single time, but any given performance of “Down with Disease” is made or broken by that bridge between the vocal section and the jam section. The quick guitar riff that hits the high note? It’s the most important eight measures of any Phish show containing this song!

Luckily for Trey, the bridge is not too sloppy and he hits the high note! This is a very fast-paced version, which is most of why this is over and out in 10 minutes.

Fast Enough for You — 8:17
Sappy sentimentality ain’t my thing, and if it’s your thing then you can get the fuck off my blog. While Phish’s song catalogue is loaded with sappiness, none are so much as sappy as “Fast Enough for You” which is about Trey’s premature ejaculations! Ha! But seriously folks, I’m–

Look, eight minutes of this shit is too much to take near the end of Set Two. This is some early Set One shit. Another misstep by the band; docking them 40 points. Now they’re down to -40 points.

2001 — 10:32
Here’s another song that can be made or broken by the main melody. Every time Trey plays those notes, he needs to play them perfectly. I’m guessing it was never a problem before Phish 2.0, but today’s version gets a little iffy and out of tune. Coupled with the fact that the performance feels stilted and dry, I’m not pumped! Is this how we’re going to go out? With a whimper instead of a bang?!

Trey takes a moment to thank the audience and uses the word “blessed”. The band is now down to -500 points and there’s no recovering from this deficit unless something ASTONISHINGLY SPECIAL happens in the encore.

Encore

Friday — 9:43
Well, fuck, there goes that hope. What an absolute loser of a song. Only played 13 times; 12 during Phish 2.0, and then busted out in 10/25/2016 for some ungodly reason during one of the worst rated Phish shows ever.

Fuck Friday.