Zappa has a vast catalog. He’s one of those guys that produced so much for such a long time that, for generations, descendants of his family will be able to grab a quick buck by putting out yet another posthumous album of his unreleased material. So we’re talking around 60 albums released in his lifetime (many of them double-length), and another 50 albums released after his death in 1993 (many of them multi-disc boxsets), totaling hours upon hours of material. That being said, your brain now being inundated with such knowledge, let it be known that Chunga’s Revenge is possibly the single most middle-of-the-road offering in Zappa’s whole ding-dang discography. It sneaks in right before one of the lowest points in his career, it’s not steeped in controversy, it’s not (majorly) historically significant, it’s not a bad album, it’s not a great album, there’s no thematic continuity stringing the songs together, you won’t find very many live or alternate versions of most of these songs on other albums except for maybe “Sharleena”, and the project as a whole isn’t even weird or experimental. The iconic photo of Frank yawning on the cover alone saves it from total obscurity. If it were a big dumb picture of a turnip or something things might be different.

This is the first installment in a span of four albums featuring Zappa’s brand new band, an era dubbed by fans as the “Flo & Eddie years”. The only retainer from the original Mothers is the multi-instrumentalist Ian Underwood, but now we have George Duke on keyboards! George Duke is the man; a fan favorite, he’s one of the most esteemed and well-known members of the ever-changing Zappa collective (and he’ll be sticking around long after the Flo & Eddie years have passed, thank fucking Christ). Other members of this stretch are flash-in-the-pan alumni: Jeff Simmons on bass and Aynsley Dunbar on drums being the most significant to mention. Of course, there are the notorious Flo and Eddie themselves (Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan, respectively) who were contractually unable to use their own names after dissolving their earlier band the Turtles. Yes, those Turtles.

The circumstances are unknown as to how and why Zappa even cared to scoop these guys up and put them into the forefront of his band in the first place. The major controversy of this era comes primarily from the perceived complete hogging of the spotlight on Flo and Eddie’s part, and, yeah, kinda. Flo and Eddie were ragamuffin guttersnipes in their early-20’s (Volman is the big, fat one and Kaylan is the small, thin one) with annoying wiseguy voices that were indistinguishable from one another. They also had annoying faces and annoying personalities. They told crude, immature jokes and indulged in silly, tiresome antics. I would expect most Zappa fans to hate these big shot in-your-face characters because, hey, Zappa’s their guy! Who the fuck do these newbies think they are horning in on the action? Why should Zappa take a backseat to these dweebs? Maybe…just maybe…now hear me out…maybe Zappa wanted it that way because it was his goddamned band and he called all the shots? Hard to accept, I’m sure, because Zappa fans want to love everything he did and they can’t stand it when he made decisions that stir up some inner turmoil and conflicting feelings. Some will go as far as to say that they love the Flo & Eddie years! These people are not to be listened to when they voice their opinions.

Luckily on Chunga’s Revenge Flo and Eddie aren’t given much of an opportunity to ham it up. There are a few moments like the shouting during George Duke’s scat singing at the end of “The Nancy & Mary Music” that foreshadow the inherent obnoxiousness of their presence, and most of Side Two is cluttered up with their singing, but taken as a whole it’s not terribly distracting or unpleasant so there’s nothing to really get bummed out about. In small doses it’s ok; I think the end of “The Nancy & Mary Music” is the best part of the song! But that’s because of George Duke and not at all because of stinky Flo and stinky Eddie. Hence, and literally due to the reigning in of these two losers, Chunga’s Revenge is the greatest album of the Flo & Eddie years (even better than 200 Motels, suck it). This in of itself is the first example of its tepidness and unremarkable existence with respect to most of the rest of the Zappa catalog. The best album in the one of the most hated periods? Yeah, ok.

Now the second example of its tepidness and unremarkable existence: the Flo & Eddie years are notable in its deliberately stripped-down and straightforward approach. Gone for now are the free jazz improvisational mindfucks. Gone are the complicated, tightly-composed, and instrumentally diverse compositions. Even a lot of the biting social commentary has been thrown to the wayside. Here it’s back to basics. Here is a collection of by-the-book rock and blues songs and solos with not too many ambitions. It’s a very safe and accessible record, non-offensive to both fans and non-fans alike (especially with Flo and Eddie on a leash), but safe and accessible don’t gel too well with oeuvre of early-Zappa and the end product here is at worst forgettable and at best enjoyable in the moment.

With all that out of the way, I think I’ve taken enough of the piss out of the album. The real, legitimate piss, obviously. Just because Chunga’s Revenge is like the Billy Baldwin of Zappa albums doesn’t mean we have to treat it like it’s the Stephen Baldwin of Zappa albums, you understand? This is a decent album with a mixed bag of lounge instrumentals, crunchy solos, pop tunes, humor, and a little bit of blue-collar white soul. The first track, “Transylvania Boogie”, sounds like a throwback to the raw and bluesy early-Mothers badassedness. More soloing of this ilk, albeit mellowed out, can be heard in the title track. Then you’ve got the autobiographical old-school blues tune “Road Ladies” chronicling life on tour and the, uh, nefarious sexually transmitted diseases that accompany such a life (“Don’t you better get a/Shot from the doctor/What the road ladies do to you“). The logical follow-up to “Road Ladies” several tracks later is, of course, “The Clap”, featuring Zappa himself banging all manner of percussion instruments. Venereal disease is a big theme for Zappa. I think he found it quite funny that all his band mates spent their downtime LEWDLY FUCKING during tours. He had the sense of humor of a 10-year-old, you see.

What else we got here? “Twenty Small Cigars” sounds just like a holdover from the Hot Rats sessions. Because it is! In fact, it sounds very much like “Little Umbrellas” off of that album: a smooth and pretty piece of tightly-constructed cocktail lounge jazz. It cuts suddenly after 2:17 mark, so I’m guessing that the piece either segued into an improvisation that we will never know about, or all the band members suddenly and immediately died! The previously mentioned “Nancy & Mary Music” is the album’s big slab of driftwood that’s floundering around the middle of the tracklist, ponderously trudging along on a few go-nowhere solos lifted right from a live version of King Kong (which can notoriously run up to 30-40 minutes in length during live performances). Needless to say, good luck getting it to grow on you overtime. Here the highlight is the final minute or so of George Duke going nuts and the rest can suck a hell dick.

The vocal tunes of Side Two are good, no question about it. The hard rock “Tell Me You Love Me”, the deceptively complex and stylistically diverse “Would You Go All the Way”, and the old-timey, vaudevillian “Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink” are all fully adequate efforts in hook-laden classic rock (I say that like Zappa is pretending to be a rock musician). The melodies are so good even Flo & Eddie don’t ruin it with their falsetto “Big Girls Don’t Cry”-esque deliveries. And then, of course, the doo-wop “Sharleena” closes out the record with a genuine and loyal send-off.

There’s an excellent album to be unearthed here among the rubble, but Chunga’s Revenge is too loaded up with filler to be hailed as a classic. And, honestly, the few songs that actually do become concert mainstays like “Sharleena” are presented elsewhere in the catalog as better and more interesting live versions. Don’t listen to it now. Listen to it eventually. But not now. There’s better things to listen to now. But listen to it eventually. But not now.

JUST OK