Welcome to the Book Bonfire and yammer yammer blah blah blah.

Reviews are mixed for Sally Rooney’s tale of two young Irish lovers with a non-violent, emotionally toxic relationship, but I quite enjoyed it as someone who loves reading about others’ non-violent, emotionally toxic relationships. It’s called being an alive human being. That’s why these people are normal. It’s because they’re fucked up.

Most of the criticism comes from two areas. 1) there is no plot, and 2) the characters aren’t likeable. Sure, maybe, but for one thing I don’t think a slice-of-life kind of story like this needs a plot. This book is more of a character study, and even then some might say the characters are flat and uninteresting. But I disagree. I think Connell and Marianne are painfully real people who don’t know how to deal with their emotions and don’t know how to communicate their feelings to one another whatsoever. I don’t know about you, but I knew plenty of teenagers just like them when I was that age. No one knows what they want, no one knows what’s good for them, and nobody can just come out and fucking say it. That is just one reason of many why the characters aren’t likable!

I can see why this would be a frustrating book in that regard. Hell, what makes it even more frustrating is the lack of quotation marks! Sometimes it’s hard to follow who might be talking or when conversations are happening. It mirrors the difficulty of Connell and Marianne’s ability to understand each other fully, or at least know what the other wants. You get used to the format quickly, but damn, I’m not making a strong case for Normal People, am I? OK, let me try again…

This book is probably not for you! Do you hate a plot and love irritating characters? Then you’ll love it like I do. Personally, I couldn’t put it down. I found myself invested in Connell and Marianne’s relationship even though I didn’t care whether they ended up together or not! I literally did not care about that! I was interested in their bizarre dynamic. I liked the way Marianne was a weird loner in high school and Connell was athletic and popular, and how those tables turned in college. I like how Connell shuffled awkwardly around most conversations while Marianne tried to invoke some sort of upper hand. I found nuance in the way Marianne carried herself as a product of abuse. I found Connell’s handling of depressive episodes fascinating. In short, I feel I could relate in some way to both characters. Maybe you can’t. I am unable to carry myself with any semblance of poise or grace in my own marriage, so I understand the internal struggles of being in a relationship very well! I’m only half-kidding! Wink!

The book isn’t without its faults, although I have a high tolerance for what it takes to suspend my disbelief. Connell is painted as the “good guy”, perhaps the only “good guy” in Marianne’s life, even though he’s really not. From her physically abusive brother Alan, to Jamie punches-for-orgasms, to whats-his-face Swedish photographer, all these men in her life are creepy and horrible as fuck while Connell is portrayed as the hero in Marianne’s life… even though he was emotionally abusive from day one — pretending she doesn’t exist in public in order to avoid being the high school pariah, for one thing. Also he pulls and pulls until she gives in, then he pushes away again. People are quick to criticize Rooney for this shit, but this is how normal broken people act. Both Connell and Marianne appear to have severe Borderline Personality Disorder based on their mishandling of their emotions and their strong codependence. And although this is somewhat romanticized, I would keep pointing back to the title of the book. This is how normal people act.

We all suck.

BOOK BONFIRE DISCUSSION QUESTIONS!

The first half of Normal People is centered around the main conflict of Connell being so concerned with his peer’s opinions that he refuses to publicly acknowledge Marianne. Do you blame Connell for his actions? Do you sympathize with him or with Marianne?
I don’t blame Connell for his actions because Marianne was a fucking dork and no one should be seen in public with her!

Am I joking? Maybe not! But peer pressure can be a bitch for a teenager, and his status in high school was obviously important enough to him to not mess with it. Only later did he learn that everyone knew anyway and nobody cared.

Of course I sympathize with Marianne in this situation. Pulling her toward him with one hand and shoving her away with another? That’s emotional abuse, friendo. Insecurity and immaturity. Why would I side with Connell on this one? What a stupid question!

Normal People ends when Connell gets accepted to a university in New York and Marianne tells him to go. The reader is never told what happens to Connell and Marianne and the ending is left ambiguous. Do you think Connell and Marianne end up together?
Here’s what I think Marianne learns by the end of the book that Connell doesn’t: they shouldn’t end up together, and every attempt to do so will result in hesitation, emotional turmoil, discomfort, and eventual unhappiness. As much as you can tell that it hurts her, she knows what’s best for Connell is for him to go his own way pursue further studies in New York. Maybe he’ll meet someone else that will be emotionally available and/or not toxic and/or not as weird about shit?

Here’s what I think Connell learns by the end of the book: nothing. I don’t think Connell learns anything. I think he’s so codependent on Marianne that he’ll kill himself in New York within two years.

To that end, I think Connell and Marianne will end up together because they will literally have no one else who will put up with either of them. Analysis over.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Your mileage may vary, I suppose. I liked this book because I enjoy flawed characters weaving their way through life the best they can. I like it when authors put the human condition under a microscope and separate out the most vulnerable aspects of people, particularly young, naïve people. The story may not go anywhere, there may be no plot, but if you think that these characters don’t progress and grow in some way then we didn’t read the same book.

If you’re neurotic and anxious like I am, you’ll find something to relate to here.