Welcome to Buffyness and Nightlurkers Presents: Angel: After the Fall, Issue #4 – “After the Fall (Part 4)”! In the previous installment, Angel is going to single-handedly go up against all the Lords of all the various Los Angeles suburbs and destroy their champions and become the Lord of Everything. He’s got two days to prepare, which really means he has two issues to prepare. So expect that.

Anything else? No.

Angel: After the Fall, Issue #4 [February, 2008]
Written by: Bryan Lynch / Joss Whedon
“After the Fall (Part 4)”

As usual, Angel’s fightin’ some biznatches in the rain. This is a flashback to the fight that occured before L.A. got apocalyptical. Angel hopes Connor got far away fast enough. Angel wonders where Spike went. Angel wonders where Gunn went. Angel wonders where Gunn was in the first place. “He’ll be fine. No. He was dying.”

During the fight, Angel falls off a building and lands on a car like a doofus. While he lies broken and bleeding, insomuch as a vampire of his distinction can, Wes approaches him looking sharp and possibly ghostlike!

“Gunn got pulled away in the fight.” Angel huffs and puffs. “We have to–”

“Angel,” Wes bends down to a knee.

“You weren’t there. Trust me, he needs–”

“Angel. I’m sorry.”

…

Angel lies his head down on the concrete. “So am I.”

Flashforward to the present day, where Angel and Wes are trying to speak an incantation from a large, scary book in order to heal a nasty wound on Angel’s abdomen. “Ts’nad hc-iz t’guerhr ev! Nella!” Hey, that’s my personal credo! It means “My internet is down again.”

Dear, we promised not to say H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.

With a rousing “snem’ed!” a flash of violet light appears on the wound. Angel writhes in pain like a doofus. And now that THAT’S taken care of, we can move onto brass tacks: how the fuck is Angel going to single-handedly beat a whole team of mutant jerks?

“Why’d you do it?”

“It’s what you wanted,” Angel replies. “We’re prepared. We’ve planted seeds.”

“Didn’t answer my question.”

“I want out of Hell.”

Always thinking of others, eh? Picking a fight with demons is going to accomplish that, ruining the world for everyone else? Lording it up, is that what you want? For shame, sir.

“I’m alive. I’m breathing, I’m sweating, I’m aching from fights that occurred two months ago,” Angel whines. “It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

Fine. Shut up. Wes has to remind the guy that, for all intents and purposes, Angel is a human now. And big, scary occult books with weird words with random apostrophes aren’t supposed to be used on humans. Scary shit will happen, like schizophrenia or an interest in anime. Most of all, Angel needs to call off the fight. Now.

“But…” Wes stares at the shirtless doofus. “…you won’t.”

Ding ding ding ding ding! He won’t, all right. And furthermore, w–

No double nookie for Wes today!

Ahhh! Suddenly, two beautiful, ethereal women in flowing white dresses appear in the room. One with pink hair, one with seafoam green hair. Wes thinks it’s angels of heaven ready to whisk him away before he’s even ready. But they don’t give two shits about Wesley “Nerd Glasses” Wyndam “Nerd Glasses” -Pryce. They came for Angel.

The two women goad Angel to walk into the light. The light. The light… blue Acura. The light blue Acura. In the shitty parking garage.

So he does, and he drives away while his dragon, staked outside, glares. Then follows. Meanwhile, Gunn is also staking out atop another building. The minute the dragon leaves, Gunn makes his move…

*falls off of building, splattering himself on the pavement, the end*

Well, that doesn’t happen, but something happens! We’ll see it later, of course. For now, let us return to Spike’s pad where a demon is asking to speak to his Lord about Angel’s challenge. Spike says he’s co-Lord and can deal with any Lordly matters adequately. The shark-faced demon doesn’t wanna talk to Spike, so he presents him with something called a Hagun Shaft that he would like Spike to pass along to his real Lord. Only eight exist in the universe. “All the Lords have one. Just a little somethin’ in case here freezes over and Angel wins, kind of over your cute little head. Give it to Illyria, she can handle it. Take care, little guy.”

Spike’s side piece, Spider, wonders who from their cabal will go up against Angel. Spike doesn’t care. He wants to stay out of it. Let the doofus fight his fight with whomever wants to fight the fight. Fuck it.

Spider goes on to tell Spike that all the other ladies wanted to “end him”. He was loud and scrawny and Blue Fred / Illyria was “a tad unstable”. Spider told them to spare Spike, and now they all follow him! He stepped up! So step up again now, damnit!

No.

“I know you have a bond with Angel,” she continues. “I know it’s deeper than you admit. But you’re not responsible for him.” If the Lords kill him, things go back to status quo. If Spike kills him, then it’s gravy and bonus points!

Spike starts considering it.

Gods do play dice with the universe, but they’re too stupid to know the rules.

Back in the light blue Acura, Wes continues to to fret about the impending fight. The women insist that there’s nothing to worry about! Everything’s going to be ok! They drive to Silver Lake, where everyone is friendly and says hi and it must be a regional reference that no one outside of Los Angeles will get!

“I’m surprised he wants to see us,” says Angel.
“I don’t trust it,” says Wes.

“I do feel… oddly confident.”

Ahh, it’s Lorne. I forgot about Lorne. The green guy with the horns. He’s wearing a very fancy and decorated formal military uniform. “Angel-Cakes!” he jubilates, giving him a hug. He tries to lean into Wes for a hug, but Wes is less-than-corporeal at the moment. “Stuck in that suit for eternity,” Lorne grimaces. “Wolfram & Hart’s cruelest act yet.”

Ha ha ha. Comic relief. Wank me off, sir. So, Angel didn’t know that Lorne wanted to ever see him again for reasons I don’t fucking remember anymore. I mean, Jesus, I completely forgot about this Lorne guy in the first place. He walks Angel to a restraurant where a flying little imp hovers over a glowing ball of light. “I always keep an eye on my friends. The ones I can find, anyway. Connor, even Spike.” Angel is hard to find since Wolfram & Hart put up some sort of magic guards and Angel never leaves the building, but hey! He’s here now, ain’t he?

“Challenging the Lords, Angel. Really? Not feeling dead enough?” Lorne knows because he, himself, Lord of Silver Lake, was invited to produce a champion. “I told them to go screw.”

Too bad, though, that Lorne promised not to get involved at all anyway. That means no helping either.

Good old Groosalugg. Mr. Silver Lining.

However… he can… er… point him in the right direction.

Groosalugg descends from the heavens on a large, black Pegasus. He is so happy to see Angel and Wes! “Oh, this is the day of days!”

Angel and Wes are beside themselves with… something…

“Un-Lord Lorne tells me you’re going to re-die in grand final battle against evil incarnate. Let’s see if I can scrape up an arsenal that will prolong your existence for a few moments!” Groosalugg claps Angel on the back. Angel smiles wanly.

Wes confronts Lorne. “You’re scared of me.”

Lorne, in so many words, says “yeah, kinda.”

Well, this is all Wolfram & Hart’s doing, whatever it is and for what reasons. “They’re the ones we have to worry about.”

Meanwhile, to make a long story short, Gunn and a couple of his cronies sneak into Wolfram & Hart’s building. Before blowing it to smithereens, Gunn recovers an old picture of him and all his happy buddies holding Baby Connor. Back when things were… simpler?

Anyway, they blow the Wolfram & Hart building to smithereens. Gunn smiles vampirely.

And, as a consequence, as Wes talks to Lorne, he slowly disappears into nothing. Much to Lorne’s astonishment.

“Wes? Um, Wesley? Wesley? I’m gonna be blamed for this, I know it.”

Final Thoughts

The plot thickens! Or thins, as the case may be. How will Wes get out of this non-existence pickle? Will they need to find the Talisman of Witherspoon in order to return Wes to his corporeal form?

I really wish Angel was single-handedly going to try taking down the champions. I want to see his ass bloodied to kingdom come.