RAWRR! LOOK OUT! THE RONA’S GONNA GETCHA!

I’ve been silent for too long. I cannot be silent anymore. Enough is enough.

Look here, everyone. I’m a scientist and an engineer. I work with microscopes and beakers and safety goggles and pens and paper and calculators so I think I know what I’m talking about. Who are you going to trust, me or some medical doctor? Pfft. I have business cards.

I’m going to give you the full story, the kind that BIG PHARMA and, like, BIG DOCTORS or whatever don’t want you to know. This here is the real shit. Stop looking to the CDC or the WHO or the FBI or NBA or REM or JFK or LOL for guidance, they’re not here to help. While you’re sleeping in your cozy little beds all these organizations are farting out chemtrails from the backs of their fuckin’ little, you know, fart planes. Just fartin’ all over us. They’re up there fartin’ and here we are like idiots on the ground. Just accepting their farts. Well no more.

Here are the most important points about this stupid “virus” that I corroborated with the homeless guy at the gas station who’s always huffing paint thinner out of a single 1992 Air Jordan. Yes, duh, the Air Jordan VIII. Let me hit you with some REAL COLD HARD facts, Jack:

• The Wuhan lab “leaked” the coronavirus on purpose, and by “leaked” I mean “shot the virus into the fuckin’ air with a t-shirt cannon”.
• The real Patient Zero was one of the Keebler Elves that the Wuhan lab was keeping caged for “horny reasons”.
• Wearing a mask will not only be totally USELESS to stop the spread of this “disease”, but wearing a mask will actually do MORE HARM THAN GOOD because most mask distributors are LACING their masks with ARSENIC FIBERS and MICRONEEDLES that inject DNA-ALTERING MOON SEDATIVES into your beard follicles, and wake up ladies, you’re not safe either.
• “Vaccines” are actually encoding us with unique lottery tracker numbers and the secret society known as the “Order of the Phoenix” has a giant underground lottery ball machine that they use every day to select their unsuspecting targets. Instead of money, each target wins DEATH and that person’s soul is absorbed by the Order so they can power their giant underground lottery ball machine.
• Look, sheeple: THERE IS NO VIRUS. Wake up. The so-called “COVID-19 Pandemic” is just a concoction cooked up by Joe Biden’s AmeriKKKa in order to secure a false “win” in a sham election. Not only is Trump still America’s president, but he is also the president of each and every one of our individual consciousnesses and we all have a dais of tiny Trumps in our brains controlling our emotions like Pixar’s Inside Out.

Look here, chief. Fine, whatever. You can wear your masks and take your vaccines and “social distance” and “stay quarantined” and “avoid moral bankruptcy” just like the governKKKment wants you to do. OR, you can join the resistance with the rest of us and make an ACTUAL difference by shutting out family members and throwing temper tantrums on airplanes and making little Trump shrines out of sweet potatoes. Your call, cuck. Wake up.