Tagline:
Better Late Than Never.

Wide Release Date:
August 19, 2005

Directed by:
Judd Apatow
Written by:
Judd Apatow, Steve Carell
Produced by:
Judd Apatow, Clayton Townsend, Shauna Robertson

Starring:
Steve Carell
Catherine Keener
Paul Rudd
Seth Rogan
Romany Malco

PREGAME THOUGHTS

I saw this movie in the theater! I was home from college for the weekend, and I saw it with my sister. September 24, 2005. I remember the exact date because five days later I’d start a relationship with my first girlfriend, now my wife. Although I was 17 at the time, this movie hit a little too close to home for me. But I’m hella not a virgin and I’m still four years away from 40, so it all worked out.

Anyway, I might have seen this at least one more time along the way. I like this movie. I’m gonna watch it again.

THE 10(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Andy (Steve Carell) is a 40-year-old virgin.

THE 500(ish)-WORD REAL SYNOPSIS

Andy (Steve Carell) is a 40-year-old virgin. He works at an electronics store with David (Paul Rudd), Cal (Seth Rogan), and Jay (Romany Malco), all of whom are not virgins. He lives in an apartment full of nerd shit: video games, comic books, action figures still in their original packages. He’s shy. He’s awkward. He’s Steve Carell, baby.

John Philip Sousa, bitches!

During a poker game with his co-workers, Andy gets cornered into revealing that he has never had sex. There are varying degrees of reactions to this, but David, Cal, and Jay all make it their mission to help Andy get some. They all offer advice, and a lot of it sucks. David has Andy try speed dating, which backfires when David matches up with his ex-girlfriend and attempts to reconnect. Jay has Andy try hot waxing, which backfires when it proves to be too painful for him. Cal has Andy try feigning confidence, which works on a bookstore clerk named Beth (Elizabeth Banks). She gets all weird and horny about it.

Andy doesn’t really like any of these tactics, but along the way he gets intrigued by a customer named Trish (Catherine Keener) who owns a brick-and-mortar startup across the street from the electronics store. When nothing his co-workers suggest works, Andy bones up enough courage to call Trish and ask her out on a date. They have a good time. They decide to put off having sex for 20 dates, which Andy is thrilled to do.

Why, yes, thank you! I am charming! Plenty more dick jokes where that came from!

Andy and Trish’s relationship goes well. Trish’s teenage daughter Marla (Kat Dennings) wants birth control, which Trish opposes to vehemently. Andy agrees to take Marla to a sex health clinic to join a group session (which is more for his own benefit than hers), where he learns that she is a virgin. Andy admits his own virginity in confidence, which increases Marla’s respect for him.

Other events happen with Andy’s co-workers. None of them are important! After 20 dates, Trish tries to start some sexy times with Andy, but he freaks the fuck out and leaves her bewildered and hurt. Following this, Andy has a weird breakdown where he gets shitfaced at a nightclub and goes to Beth the Bookstore Girl’s apartment. She jerks herself off in the tub with a shower head, which scares him a little and sobers him up. Meanwhile, Marla convinces Trish to stick with Andy, and Andy’s co-workers convince Andy to stick with Trish.

Nothing turns a woman on quite like a man who gets scared shitless of her.

Trish is waiting in Andy’s apartment when he returns, and after a brief confrontation she gets in her car and drives off sad and angry. Andy chases her down on his bike and gets into an accident. Lying injured on the street, he finally admits to her that he’s a virgin. She is not only ok with this, but she is relieved that everything finally makes sense.

They get married, they fuck, it lasts 30 seconds, everyone lives happily ever after.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — Virginity

Yuck, am I really going to talk about this? No one reading this wants to hear about it from me!

So, virginity. It seems like such a pathetic topic for anyone older than 25, right? Does anyone even really give a shit about that kind of thing once you’re old enough? The people who haven’t had sex have obviously not for a whole slew of reasons, and that their personal business. I’m happy for Andy that he found a woman who loved him for the shy nerd that he was, but was there any sense that Andy was at all dissatisfied with his life? Comic books and video games and toys? Sounds like the sweet life to me. Who says you need to get rid of that stuff as you get older? As you all may know, I got into comic books for the first time at age 33.

Andy’s hobbies aside, if I were 40 years old and I never had sex before, I wouldn’t want co-workers who are barely my friends to get involved in my personal life. It’s like, fuck off dudes. Let me be involuntarily celibate in peace!

HELLO KIDS. I CAN MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS AT YOUR PARTIES!

TOPIC 2 — Times Have Changed

Man, I never used to really think much has changed since the 2000’s, but this movie sure shut me up. We’re talking Circuit City-type electronics stores! We’re talking pornography on video cassette! We’re talking landlines! We’re talking brick and mortar stores centered around eBay, which I think might’ve been a thing?! We’re talking 40-year-old virgins! What a simpler time.

Speaking of times changing, this is probably one of the first comedy movies of its time. The bombastic, jokey, slightly dumb humor of the ’90s and early ’00s has been eschewed for more subtlety and conversation-based humor. A precursor to stuff like Superbad, Pineapple Express, Knocked Up, and a large handful of others. I don’t know enough about current comedies to know how the formula has changed, but this was the quintessential comedy style of its time. Barring oddities like the surrealism of Napoleon Dynamite, or the quote-fodder absurdity of Anchorman. Maybe I was the perfect age for these types of movies, but I certainly have a fondness for them. Fun times in the theater, that’s for sure, and they really highlighted the garbage-ness like Adam Sandler’s Click. Seriously, what the fuck was that shit?

Seth Rogan is wearing a GZA Liquid Swords t-shirt, which is also a relic of a simpler time in America.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

Steve Carell’s then eighty-year-old parents went to see the film, much to his embarrassment.
“Stevie, what was that about thinking a boob feels like a bag of sand? You know that’s not right! Here, I’ll show you! Come grab a piece of this…”

When Catherine Keener was cast, Steve Carell told Judd Apatow that her casting had legitimized the film’s credibility.
There are a few other bits of trivia that are similar to this one. I don’t think Steve Carell enjoyed doing this movie one bit! One big smear on his resume. Too bad he would never go on to do anything in Hollywood again…

What’s this now about a show about an office?

In a magazine interview, Judd Apatow revealed a trick behind the film’s success: during the first preview of the movie, he had actually recorded the preview audiences vocal reaction with a tape recorder. When it came to re-cutting the film for the general release, he trimmed the film in sync to the recorded reaction. The scenes that did not have audience reaction were either cut or trimmed (but reinserted in the Unrated edition).
Even Judd Apatow had to fabricate a “trick” to get this film to succeed. No one wanted to do this, and the director/writer/producer had no confidence in it. Sounds like me at my own job.

The scene where Andy has his chest hair removed required five cameras set up for the shot. Steve Carell’s chest hair was actually ripped out in the scene. Carell had told director Judd Apatow just before shooting the scene, “It has to be real. It won’t be as funny if it’s mocked up, or if it’s special effect. You have to see that this is really happening.” For obvious reasons, the scene had to be done in one shot.
I want you to hurt me, Judd. Hurt me bad.

The face of a man who made a bad decision.

In a deleted scene on the Unrated DVD, when Andy is on the phone trying to get help to get rid of his erection, the person on the other end is Judd Apatow impersonating an Indian accent.
This one is actually commendable. Nothing kills a boner quite like racism.

Steve Carell was forty-three years old, had been married for ten years and was already the father of two children when the movie was released in 2005.
I hate all these non-virgins stealing roles from the virgins. This has to stop.

Jonah Hill got heatstroke filming the final dance number.
L-O-FUCKING-L

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

It’s a cute movie, for the most part, with a lot of very painfully awkward moments courtesy of Carell’s pitch-perfect acting. I saw this movie at a very pivotal point in my life, so my own view of it is biased. I like this movie, but I saw so much of myself in Carell as a 17-year-old (which is sad, I know, give me a break) that it’s still hard to watch at twice the age. I probably will never see it again, especially since I just wrote about it. That’s how I do, ya’ll.