Tagline:
They only met once, but it changed their lives forever.

Wide Release Date:
February 15, 1985

Directed by:
John Hughes
Written by:
John Hughes
Produced by:
Ned Tanen, John Hughes

Starring:
Emilio Estevez
Anthony Michael Hall
Judd Nelson
Molly Ringwald
Ally Sheedy
Paul Gleason

PREGAME THOUGHTS

I loved this movie when I was a teenager! But I’ll save a lot of that commentary for the discussion section. I don’t think I’ve watched The Breakfast Club since high school, so I’m looking forward to seeing it through the eyes of an adult. I hear I’ll empathize with Vice Principal Vernon now. I hope not, that guy was a total dick.

THE 400(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Welcome to detention. I am your host, Vice Principal Richard “Dick” Vernon (Paul Gleason). Let’s see who we have here… ah, looks like that delinquent asshole John Bender (Judd Nelson) is back for more! We also have the snotty rich girl Claire (Molly Ringwald), the arrogant jock Andrew (Emilio Estevez), the complete fucking nerd Brian (Anthony Michael Hall), and the weirdo Invader Zim fan Allison (Ally Sheedy). You guys have eight hours to sit there in the library and do nothing. Try not to make friends along the way or I’ll be watching you.

And no funny business, spaz.

Detention begins and Bender is a jerk already, being mean to everyone else like he has something to prove. This goes on for quite a bit of minutes. Eventually, Bender removes a screw to the library door which keeps it closed and them away from Vernon’s office viewpoint. The group sneaks off to grab marijuana from Bender’s locker while Vernon ambles around the school bored out of his mind since there’s no Internet in 1985. When the kids are blocked off by a hallway gate with no way back without getting caught, Bender decides to take one for the team and distract Vernon toward the gym. Bender’s punishment is to get locked in a closet. Eventually, Bender busts out through the ceiling tiles and makes his way back to the library.

At this point the true bonding begins! They eat lunch and smoke a little weed and start talking to each other with some modicum of respect for one another. Claire is in detention for ditching school to go shopping, and she faces intense peer pressure to stay popular in school. Bender is in detention for pulling a fire alarm, and he describes the broken home he comes from. Andrew put a bunch of duct tape on some kid’s hairy butt, and he faces intense pressure from his father to do well in sports. Brian is in detention for bringing a flare gun to school with the intention of committing suicide, and he faces intense pressure to succeed academically. Allison is in detention because she has nothing better to do on a Saturday, preferring to spend time away from home where she is ignored and neglected.

A tear-filled talk session occurs where the consensus is that they’ll all pretend to not know each other again come Monday, and they’ll all return to their cliques (or lack thereof). In the end, Bender and Claire kiss, Andrew and Allison kiss (after she gets a makeover), and Brian is stuck writing everyone’s essay and not getting a girl.

The movie ends with Judd Nelson’s iconic fist pump.

YEAH ARSENIO! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — General Movie Thoughts

I have a lot to say about The Breakfast Club! Earlier I mentioned empathizing with Vice Principal Vernon as an adult? I found it difficult to since he was an inappropriate jerk to the kids (especially Bender), even when he spilled his guts to Carl about his fear of being replaced by the next generation. The only I thing I felt bad for was that Vernon had no access to computers or the Internet to kill the time during his detention oversight. This is his every single Saturday. Bring a book or something, for Christ’s sake.

Real classy, sir.

I was in high school between 2001-2005 in a semi-affluent and reasonably racially diverse Detroit suburb. As far as I experienced, there weren’t any real cliques to speak of. No one was castigated for stepping outside of their alleged station, whatever that meant for my school. I was in band and orchestra and it was full of stoners and assholes and jocks and nerds alike. I couldn’t relate with the school caste system aspect of the movie, which was ultimately the most important part with the lesson being that we’re all human beings struggling the same issues. And whether or not your own high school had a social hierarchy, THAT lesson was what anyone and everyone could relate with.

The Breakfast Club holds up well for a nearly 40-year-old movie about high school. The clothing and hairstyles aren’t even really dated, which was surprising. Some of the language and slang, however, was (“Eat my shorts”, “If I lose my temper, you’re totaled man”). And probably the worst line in the whole movie is Estevez’s “Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor.”

I found the big emotional scene with the five of them sitting in a circle on the corny side, particularly Anthony Michael Hall’s performance. All crying and shit. Lighten up. I always believe scenes like these are undermined by the movie format. One hour is not nearly enough time for the audience to believe that these kids formed a realistic bond over the course of their day, especially since the characters were on the hostile side to each other for so much of the movie’s runtime. Mostly Bender’s fault of course, but the others had their moments. On the other hand, try to find a away to expand The Breakfast Club into an eight-hour miniseries, with each episode representing an hour of detention, and maybe you’ll find believable bonding and character growth. What a boring show that would be, though. Hmmm.

You can feel the love just radiating out of the movie screen, can’t you?

Then the ending, of course. Bender spends an entire Saturday berating, bullying, degrading, and treating Claire like complete dogshit and she wants to kiss him in the end? What the fuck is that? All of Brian’s new “friends” make him write the paper for them? Yeah, buddy, you sure got the respect you deserve there. And then there’s Ally Sheedy’s makeover…

TOPIC 2 — Ally Sheedy’s Makeover

My teenage crush on Ally Sheedy’s character extended to exactly one second before the makeover reveal and not a single second after. Almost the whole internet agrees with me on this point, so it’s not an unpopular out-of-the-blue contrarian statement. Here’s my take on the makeover controversy.

I’m with the consensus that it was bad! Let me begin by pointing out that there was nothing in the entire movie that hinted at any attraction or sexual tension between Estevez and Sheedy. Not until the moment she walked into the library all dolled up did he even blink in her direction. Not until the moment he blinked in her direction did Sheedy even seem to care whether or not Estevez knew she was alive. It’s really dumb.

I have nothing new to say about this that hasn’t already been said ad nauseam by the internet’s other neckbeards, but the whole message of the movie is that we’re all human beings going through similar struggles even if we appear to fall into separate categories on the outside. If it’s the inside that matters, then why does Sheedy need to change her outward appearance in order for a fucking man to find her appealing?

I’ll you why. Because it was 1985 and the ’80s sucked. Ally Sheedy looked way better before. The movie should’ve ended with her kicking Estevez in the dick and walking away, fist pumped in the air.

Don’t try to change me, baby.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

The scene in which all characters sit in a circle on the floor in the library and tell stories about why they were in detention was not scripted. Writer and director John Hughes told them all to ad-lib.
Only in 1985 does a story about bringing a gun to school result in a single Saturday detention. Pull that shit in 2024 America? Son, your ass will get lit up. By the gun you brought. By a good guy with your gun. And don’t you forget it god bless and amen.

Judd Nelson (John Bender) stayed in character off-camera, even bullying Molly Ringwald. John Hughes nearly fired him over this, but Paul Gleason (Richard Vernon) defended Nelson, saying that he was a good actor, and he was trying to get into character.
Maybe she deserved it! I don’t know! Believe all men!

Bender’s flinch when Vernon fakes a punch was genuine. Judd Nelson really thought Paul Gleason was going to hit him.
So what if he did? Would that have really been so bad? Well, you know what, Judd Nelson has the last laugh because Paul Gleason is fuckin’ dead!

The dandruff that Allison (Ally Sheedy) shakes onto her penciled drawing for snow, was achieved by sprinkling Parmesan cheese.
Delicious! In a deleted scene, Ally Sheedy shakes her hair again and spaghetti falls out of it.

Anthony Michael Hall (Brian Johnson) hit a growth spurt during production. According to Judd Nelson (John Bender), Hall was shorter than him at the start of production, but at the end of it, he was taller than him.
Man, detention was longer than I thought.

Oh Emilio, you smell wonderful…

The switchblade used in the movie actually belonged to Judd Nelson (John Bender). He explained that he had it for protection purposes.
The ’80s were definitely a different time. You never know when a group of nine-year-olds are going to accost you for your 1984 Walkman with the Footloose soundtrack on cassette tape.

Judd Nelson (Bender) went to a laundromat in character. The looks he was giving to women there have caused a paranoid bystander to dial 911 on Nelson to have him reported to the police.
Oh, I get it! Judd Nelson is an asshole! Fantastic. No wonder John Hughes cut him loose and he had to play a sheriff in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

Definitely, although some parts are problematic by today’s standards. There’s a reason why this was voted one of the best high school movies of all time, and it was groundbreaking back in 1985 when teen movies were all boobs and butts and then more boobs. There are no boobs in this movie at all and people still love it! Take that for what it’s worth.