Tagline:
Is your boss a slave-driving psycho? Is your boss a total sleazy tool? Is your boss a sex crazed maneater? Meet your new murder consultant.

Wide Release Date:
July 8, 2011

Directed by:
Seth Gordon
Screenplay by:
Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein
Story by:
Michael Markowitz
Produced by:
Brett Ratner, Jay Stern

Starring:
Jason Bateman
Charlie Day
Jason Sudeikis
Jennifer Aniston
Colin Farrell
Kevin Spacey
Donald Sutherland
Jamie Foxx

PREGAME THOUGHTS

I sort of remember that everyone was talking about this movie when it came out. 2011 was a good year for comedy movies: Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids, Cedar Rapids… uh… Bad Teacher?… No?… Just the first three then.

So, yes, I heard lots of good things. Are we finally moving away from the quirky teen comedies like your Superbads and your Scott Pilgrims??

Who cares.

THE 600(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Three friends have horrible bosses! Nick (Jason Bateman) has a boring financial office job and works for Dave (Kevin Spacey), who acts like a big, sociopathic Kevin Spacey. Dale (Charlie Day) is a dental assistant for the perpetually horny sexual predator Dr. Julia (Jennifer Aniston). Kurt works at a chemical company for Jack (Donald Sutherland), a great guy who dies and leaves his company to his drug-addict son Bobby (Colin Farrell). Dave abuses and threatens Nick. Julia sexually harasses and molests Dale. Bobby’s complete disinterest in running the company is jeopardizing its financial future and Kurt’s job. That, plus the whole spending money on cocaine and prostitutes thing.

Nick, Dale, and Kurt hate their bosses so much that they decide to kill them!

So, they start looking for a hitman and stumble upon Dean “Motherfucker” Jones (Jamie Foxx), who won’t kill them himself but will act as a consultant. It is decided that each one should kill another’s boss. They run with that. It surely is a series of hilarious mishaps and bumbling goofabouts!

Motherfucker Jones is motherfucking jonesing for a kiddie cocktail.

The first stop is Colin Farrell’s house for some good ol’ reconnaissance, and Kurt takes his phone while he’s there. Next stop is Kevin Spacey’s house, where Nick and Kurt saunter around while Dale waits in the car. Dale eats a peanut butter sandwich and throws the wrapper out on the street, which Spacey notices while jogging. After a confrontation and a peanut butter-induced allergy attack, Dale stabs Spacey with an EpiPen. Nick and Kurt witness this and believe that Dale is stabbing him to death, so they book it. Kurt drops Farrell’s phone in Spacey’s house. The evening is a failure! Who wants nachos?

The next day, each guy stakes out another’s boss’ house. Kurt spies on Aniston, but they end up fuckin’. Dale spies on Spacey, who ends up finding Farrell’s phone and assumes that his wife is having an affair. Nick spies on Farrell, and he witnesses Spacey arrive at the house and shoot Farrell dead! BRRRT!!

Did anyone stop to think that maybe it’s actually the employees who are horrible?

Things have really flown off the handle by now. Nick puts the pedal to the metal, as it were, and speeds through a traffic camera. The police use this as speculation that the three guys were involved in the murder. No concrete evidence, though, and the police let them go after a brief interrogation. Bunk from The Wire was there being Bunk from The Wire, so I got a kick out of that. Ron White was the other cop, but fuck him.

It’s back to Dean “Motherfucker” Jones, who admits that his prison time wasn’t related to homicide. He was bootlegging a movie! D’oh! BUT, Jones’ next idea involves secretly taping a confession from Spacey. They crash Spacey’s house during a surprise party, and Kurt and Spacey’s wife end up fuckin’ while Kurt was SUPPOSED to be taping a confession! D’oh d’oh! This is the part where Spacey is pissed and chases them down in his car. Kurt’s car’s GPS system operator believes that they committed a crime and disables the car, allowing Spacey to catch up and pull out his gun and do a nice long confession-style monologue about Farrell’s murder.

Trigger finger’s getting a little itchy, gentlemen.

Spacey shoots himself in the leg to frame the three. The police believe his story at first, but the GPS navigation system had recorded Spacey’s entire confession. That Horrible Boss goes to jail!

Farrell is dead, Kurt gets a new and better boss. Spacey’s in jail, so Nick gets promoted. That leaves Aniston, whom Dale blackmails with the help of “Motherfucker” Jones. Harrassment ceases.

They all lived happily ever after, but apparently not, since there’s a Horrible Bosses 2. I hear it sucks a bag of shit.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — General Movie Thoughts

Jamie Foxx was the best part of the movie, hands down. The reveal that he had never actually murdered anyone and that his only crime was bootlegging a movie was VERY FUNNY to me.

Calling Horrible Bosses “fantastic” might be overselling it, but I enjoyed it a great deal. Here we have a perfectly-cast movie with the kind of low-key slapstick that prevents a film with the premise of “three guys want to murder their bosses” from going too far over the top. And that’s pretty impressive, considering the cartoonishly exaggerated behavior of the actual bosses.

I will diddle your bean into Hell. I will fuck your ass to the curb.

Kevin Spacey plays the usual cold sociopath, and lines like “I own you. You’re my bitch.” are delivered in a way that only Kevin Spacey can deliver and be taken seriously. Colin Farrell is really good as the dipshit son of the company’s owner, spending company money on his various illegal self-indulgent activities and burning down the business from the inside. Best line: “I’m a green belt, motherfucker!” The trophy goes to Jennifer Aniston’s performance as the sexually harassing/assaulting dentist. A far cry from her Rachel Greene tenure. Charlie Day’s a lucky guy. She says some really interesting things about her pussy.

TOPIC 2 — Havin’ a Horrible Boss

I ain’t never had no horrible boss! I’ve had exactly two jobs in my life and, honestly, a fair share of bosses. I can safely say with confidence that I’ve never had a strong urge to murder any of them, which is the highest of compliments I can give.

I do work with people who do have horrible bosses themselves, because almost everyone at my job is a shitty supervisor or manager. As an engineer, my department is basically a collection of lone wolves who don’t need much (or any) direct supervision. All the technicians and customer service representatives I work with DO need that direct supervision, and I feel bad for all of them.

-One’s an overstepping, overcontrolling bitch.
-One’s a 56-year-old whiner who sits around all day complains about his staff.
-One is an ineffectual little weiner.
-One is just plain mean to her staff because she’s stressed all the time.
-One barely knows how to do the job in the department that he manages, and that’s being generous.

I’m sure Horrible Bosses is meant to spark familiarity and relatability in the viewer. Like “hey, my boss keeps sticking her tongue in my ear too! Here’s a movie for me!”

Hey Charlie, your eyes rolled back in your head again! Get ready for Take 466!

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

Jennifer Aniston wore a brown wig to make her character a brunette and more oversexed, a departure from her usual lighter roles.
Nothing says “oversexed” like a brown wig. I gotta get one of those someday.

In real life, Bobby’s “cocaine” was made of powdered lactose. To stay in character, Colin Farrell would snort it between scenes.
Whoops, we meant his “cocaine” was “made” of “powdered lactose”. Does that “clear things up?”

“Wink.”

Eddie Murphy was considered for the role of Nick Hendricks.
lol

Jeff Garlin was considered for the role of Nick Hendricks.
lmao

Bonus screenshot of Charlie Day buying a whole rack of Springley’s peanuts.

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

Yep. It never gets so over the top and dumb that I feel stupid for watching it, like some comedy movies in this era. It helps that it doesn’t run out of steam and peter out in the last 20 minutes and have them stumble upon a Smash Mouth concert or anything like. I don’t know what kind of movie would ever try THAT shit.