Tagline:
The laughter. The lovers. The friends. The fights. The talk. The hurt. The jealousy. The passion. The pressure. The real world.

Wide Release Date:
February 28, 1986

Directed by:
Howard Deutch
Written by:
John Hughes
Produced by:
Lauren Shuler

Starring:
Molly Ringwald
Harry Dean Stanton
Jon Cryer
Annie Potts
James Spader
Andrew McCarthy

PREGAME THOUGHTS

I never saw this movie as a kid because the title was “Pretty in Pink” and it starred Molly Ringwald so it was a total chick flick, man. I got over myself eventually and watched this movie once in my late ’20s. I remember finding it rushed and annoying, so let’s see if I was correct. I still don’t like Molly Ringwald.

THE 600(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Andie (Molly Ringwald) is a high school senior living with her dad, Jack (Harry Dean Stanton) on the WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS. She spends a lot of time augmenting her clothes. Her best friend is the insufferable Duckie (Jon Cryer), who claims that he’s in love with her even though it’s likely that he is a homosexual human being and I think that shit is canon. Steff (James Spader) is the high school’s resident rich asshole with a weirdly feminine name, and he secretly wants to date Andie. She thinks he’s a piece of shit.

Andie works at a record store with Iona (Annie Potts), who looks different in every scene she’s in. While perusing the store, rich kid and Steff’s friend Blane (Andrew McCarthy) makes eyeballs are our protagonist and eventually asks her out. She is also attracted to him and says yes. Blane is late to pick Andie up from the record store on the night of the date, and in the meantime Duckie is all Duckie-like and tries to get Andie to go hang out with him. She declines, and when he realizes that she’s going out on a date with Blane he gets all pissy and weird about it.

Ever see Coneheads, Annie Potts?

In a complete lapse of judgment, Blane takes Andie to a Steff’s rich kid party full of assholes who hate her. Even after multiple beratements, Blane still keeps her there until she’s had enough. Blane and Andie then go to a nightclub where Iona and Duckie are hanging out. Duckie is a jerk to both Blane and Andie, so they leave. To cap off the awful date, Blane offers Andie a ride home but she refuses, not wanting Blane to discover the hole that she lives in. At the end of this go-nowhere shitty date, Blane asks Andie to prom and then they kiss for some reason. Steff calls bullshit on all this, and Blane is pressured to stay away from Andie.

Andie and Jack have a tense moment where she finds out that he doesn’t have a full-time job, and he’s still sad that his wife left them. They hug it out. Jack had bought her a dress for the prom, which she will use later and turn it into an uglier dress.

I’m sorry I can’t do better for you, honey. But having a job and paying the bills is just sooo haaaaaarrddd.

At school, Andie confronts Blane about him ghosting her. He claims he had already asked someone else to the prom, which she knows is a lie. He just doesn’t want to be seen with her. Duckie overhears Steff calling Andie trash, so he kicks Steff’s ass in the hallway.

Upset about Blane, Andie talks to Iona at her apartment. Iona presents Andie with her own prom dress from high school, which Andie will use later to turn it into an uglier dress.

Andie decides to go stag to the prom. She creates an ugly dress out of the two dresses. When she arrives, she finds Duckie alone too and they both walk in together. Steff, drunk, begins to insult them until Blane shows up to give Steff the business. I think he calls him shit, which is absolutely true. Very handsome shit. Blane will henceforth no longer associate himself with very handsome shit.

Blane apologizes to Andie and walks out of the party. Duckie, understanding that Andie would rather be with Blane than a lame duck like Jon Cryer, tells Andie to go chase him down. Andie catches up with Blane in the parking lot. They kiss.

An an epilogue that I’m making up right now, eight years later Blane gains 400 pounds and Andie pops out seven children. They are all named Lester.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — Duckie Is Fucking Annoying

Dude, seriously.

Molly Ringwald spends exactly zero seconds of the movie enjoying Jon Cryer’s company.

John Hughes’ original script had Andie and Duckie getting together in the end. Now, the best possible ending would’ve been Andie giving the ol’ fuck you to both Duckie and Blane and going home, we can all agree on this, right? The worst ending imaginable would be Andie sucking Duckie’s face while the credits roll. No way, absolutely not.

Duckie is the universe’s most obnoxious movie character. I don’t care if they were friends when they were little kids, it’s beyond my understanding why Andie would continue being associated with such an embarrassing dipshit. Did you see Molly Ringwald’s face during every scene with Jon Cryer? She couldn’t keep the unbridled disdain off of her face. Re-watch that gruesome scene in the record store of Duckie lip-syncing and dancing to Otis Redding’s “Try a Little Tenderness” (if you can stomach it more than once in your lifetime) and check out the revolted sneer plastered all over Andie’s mug. It’s the correct reaction to such an obscene debacle.

Sorry, Duckie, but there is no indication, nor has there ever been, of Andie being into you. It’s just not there. No romantic chemistry whatsoever between you two. She appears to see you as nothing more than an obnoxious little brother, obviously one that she can’t remove from her life like a malignant esophageal tumor. If you did indeed profess your love to her, as you almost did in that one scene in her bedroom, then rest assured that she wouldn’t have laughed in your face. She would have pushed you out her window, hopefully causing you to get impaled by something pointy on the ground below. Fuck you, Duckie.

Ah yes, a familiar expression. The face I made while watching Duckie’s lip-sync dancing scene. Yuck.

TOPIC 2 — Blane is Fucking Bland

Not so fast, Blane! You’re not off the hook either, son. Did you know that you are the most boring prospective boyfriend in any movie ever? You’re even worse than Ross from Friends, pal. When you first walked into the record store I wondered if anyone would notice you at all. I wondered if they would close the store at the end of the night and leave you trapped because you couldn’t have made a more banal presence. You’re like a black hole of milquetoast in any room you’re in.

Now, you already read my tirade about Duckie. Don’t get me started again on that unpleasant mongoose-faced dork. But, AS A REMINDER, Duckie and Andie ended up together in John Hughes’ original script. Test audiences hated that ending so much that they were tearing up their genitalia with their car keys just to distract themselves from the pain. So, instead, they made Andie fall in love with this boring rich kid. Blane and Andie had approximately zero chemistry in every scene they shared. Their one date went horribly wrong and it was tremendously uncomfortable for her to be at that party. Did Blane really think that his asshole friends wouldn’t be assholes? Is he an idiot?

Here’s what Andie should have done: told both Duckie and Blane to fuck off, focused on getting into a good college to hoist herself out of her poverty-stricken existence, maybe spend more time helping her sad-sack father, and finding a real boyfriend who doesn’t suck ass. And maybe bang James Spader on the side because, let’s face it, he was a real piece! The best looking guy in the movie. Other than Dweezil Zappa, of course.

Simply overflowing with chemistry. Grab a bucket.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

James Spader was offered the role of Blane, but he chose to take the role of Steff instead. He finds it more fun to play the villain.
MOLLY RINGWALD COULD’VE KISSED SLEEPY-EYES JAMES SPADER, BUT INSTEAD HAD TO SETTLE FOR SMILEY-BOY ANDREW MCCARTHY?? THE BIGGEST TRAGEDY IS RIGHT HERE, BOYS AND GIRLS.

The genesis of this project emerged when Molly Ringwald asked John Hughes to write a movie based on The Psychedelic Furs song “Pretty in Pink”, which was her favorite song at the time.
Good thing Ringwald wasn’t really into GG Allin’s “Needle Up My Cock” or it would have been a far different movie.

When the ending was re-shot, all of the principal cast members had to be called back. Andrew McCarthy had already lost a substantial amount of weight and shaved his head for a new role in a New York City play called “The Boys of Winter”. Although he wore an auburn wig, he’s noticeably more gaunt in the re-shot scenes.
Reshoot the whole fucking movie with McCarthy in a wig. Just flopping around his head like a wounded muskrat.

In spite of their chemistry on-screen, Jon Cryer (Duckie) has stated that both of his co-stars Molly Ringwald (Andie) and Andrew McCarthy (Blane) found him “irritating” from day one.
Fucking lol

James Spader’s shirt is unbuttoned in every scene he appears.
Best part of the movie. Spader’s sexy ribcage.

Wanna go through the Stargate with me, baby?

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

Yeah, I’d say so. It’s a classic ’80s teen movie, and those are fun to watch in context. Fast forward that scene with Duckie singing in the record store, though. That’s the worst goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.