Tagline:
Before they could stand together, they had to stand alone.

Wide Release Date:
February 27, 1987

Directed by:
Howard Deutch
Written by:
John Hughes
Produced by:
John Hughes

Starring:
Eric Stoltz
Mary Stuart Masterson
Lea Thompson
Craig Sheffer

PREGAME THOUGHTS

Nothing like a John Hughes movie to really hammer some rich suburban white kid problems with heavy doses of coming-of-age nostalgia into your brain! I didn’t even know this movie existed until I was browsing Hughes’ filmography. A John Hughes teen movie without any core Brat Pack members? What is this, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?

I’m not big on Eric Stoltz, but Lea Thompson and Mary Stuart Masterson are both cute. Let’s do it.

THE 600(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Yo, it’s a John Hughes movie! There’s a high school with rich kids and poor kids and the rich kids look down on the poor kids. Keith (Eric Stoltz and his majestic butt-chin) is kind of a poor kid. He’s a senior in high school with an interest in artistry and no interest in going to college even though his dad Cliff (John Ashton) really wants him to. Keith’s best friend is tomboy and drummer Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson), who has no first name because it’s probably something really stupid like “Geraldine”.

In a typical John Hughes coming-of-age story fashion, Keith is hopelessly in love with popular girl Amanda Jones (Lea Thompson), who is currently dating rich and popular enormous douchebag Hardy (Craig Sheffer). Watts thinks Keith’s crush on Amanda is a stupid waste of time, considering they are nothing alike. Nonetheless, Keith spends a lot of time drawing pictures of Amanda. Meanwhile, Hardy is a total dickhead to Amanda and is screwing around on her besides! Keith’s ploy to get into detention with Amanda backfires, but he makes friends with the school’s local skinheaded delinquent Duncan (Elias Koteas).

Nice use of your own blood as the paint, my good man.

Getting thoroughly FED UP, Amanda breaks up with Hardy. The opportunist Keith swoops in majestically to ask her out, and Amanda agrees almost entirely to spite Hardy. This makes Watts, who is in love with Keith, jealous. She continues to dissuade Keith into a relationship with Amanda, but Keith is like “my penis!” so that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Once Keith’s popularity skyrockets while Amanda’s popularity groundplummets, Hardy decides to “invite Keith to his party” so that “he and the boys” can “beat the shit out of him.” Keith, in all his infinite wisdom, decides to take Hardy up on because he’s going to get the shit beaten out of him anyway. Why not publicly?

Keith steals money from his college fund to buy earrings for Amanda for the very stupid reason of proving his worth. Watts has one more genius ploy in her back pocket: pretend to help Keith practice kissing. Keith is dumb enough to fall for this earnestly. Watts is dumb enough to be into Keith in the first place. With his new kissing diploma received, Keith hits the town!

Oh, Keith… you taste like Doritos…

…but before Keith can finish getting ready for his date, his dad starts hollering at him about emptying his college fund to buy some stupid rocks. In an extremely unrealistic and overwrought scene, Keith convinces his dad to let him be his own person and let him find his own way. And if that means ruining his future, then so be it! Dad concedes rather genially.

So Keith and Amanda go on their date while Watts acts as their bitching and moaning chauffer (chauffeuse?). There’s a tense dinner, then a trip to the Weird Paintings of Amanda art museum, then Keith gives Amanda the bitchin’ earrings and they kiss on an amphitheater stage while Watts watches jealously from the seats. They finally go to Hardy’s party, and instead of getting the everloving shit beaten out of him, Keith’s skinhead buddy Duncan arrives with his criminal friends to take the party to another level! Keith gets the last laugh! Amanda slaps Hardy! Hardy is totally humiliated at his own house! Justice is served!

Outside Hardy’s house, Watts can’t handle the evening anymore and walks away from the car crying. Amanda suddenly realizes that Keith and Watts have feelings for each other and gives Keith back the earrings. Keith suddenly realizes that he and Watts have feelings for each other and goes after Watts. Watts accepts Keith’s sloppy seconds and the movie ends.

Here’s some money, sweetheart. Go rent a better movie.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — General Movie Thoughts

This movie kinda sucks. As the story goes, John Hughes’ and Howard Deutch’s original ending for Pretty in Pink had Molly Ringwald’s character end up with her best friend Jon Cryer instead of rich douchebag Andrew McCarthy. They were salty because test audiences didn’t like pretty little Molly Ringwald ending up with some pit-stain dork like Cryer, so they begrudgingly changed it. This was their opportunity the basically rewrite the movie with the ending they wanted. And they did, almost to a T. It’s the same damn movie with the last three minutes adjusted.

A lot of this movie seems rushed, and Keith seems kind of dumb. Personally, I don’t think he deserves either girl in the end. He’s not the only problem, though. Amanda is completely devoid of personality, and Watts is supposed to be counting on Keith figuring it out without outright telling him. For such a tomboy women-can-do-anything woke-ass 1987 perspective, she doesn’t seem to embrace the notion that women can ask dudes out. She should’ve said something. Pretty slick though on the “let’s kiss for practice” scene. Keith didn’t even realize what was going on. Watts deserves better than that dud. She’s way cooler than him, plus she hits those drums like nobody’s business. She’s also the best character by eight miles.

Sorry Amanda Jones, you’re fired!

Eric Stoltz puts on a bland performance as, oh yeah, the main protagonist. Do you watch this giving a shit about him at all? The only time he shows even a little spice is during his argument with his dad, which is so mind-bendingly stupid and devoid of a grounded moral that I having a hard time wrapping my head around the point of the scene. Dad hollers at Keith for dipping into his college fund to buy very expensive earrings, and Keith argues back that he is never trusted to make his own decisions. And Dad just caves? Keith doesn’t make a single good decision in the entire flick. Chasing a girl for the wrong reasons, deciding to go to the ex-boyfriend’s house to stand up for himself? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Some Kind of Wonderful‘s saving grace is Duncan, the skinheaded cutoff-sleeved leather jacket-wearing skull-and-crossbones-tattooed troubled youth. He and Keith form a respectable bond during their time in detention, which was the funniest part of the movie for me. At one point they show each other their artwork, Duncan’s being a drawing of a skeleton with a head of hair. “This is what my girlfriend would look like without skin.” Hilarious! Misogynistic! Devastatingly creepy!

TOPIC 2 — John Hughes

I’ll have plenty of time to talk about John Hughes after I watch all sorts of other movies written by John Hughes, but now is a good time to mention this little tidbit I found on Wikipedia:

Actor Ben Stein, who was a close friend to Hughes, has also stated that Hughes was an “ardent Republican and extreme conservative. He believed Reagan could transform all of us into Ferris Buellers. Ferris was an artifact of a free era. Ronald Reagan was all about freedom.”

That is all.

Both D.J. Tanner from Full House and Older Sister Horsey Face say that John Hughes sucks!

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

Howard Deutch and Lea Thompson fell in love while filming this film, and have been married since 1989.
A 10-year age difference isn’t too terrible, I guess. Better than Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford in more ways than one. OK, I approve!

The role of Keith Nelson was written with Eric Stoltz in mind.
Sir, you’re perfect for this dull and bland role! You won’t even have to act! Zing!

Molly Ringwald was offered the role of Amanda Jones, but refused it, ending her successful relationship with John Hughes.
Yeah, this is funny. Ringwald said that the role of Amanda Jones seemed too close to her role as Claire Standish in The Breakfast Club. John Hughes was apparently so fucking furious with her, so goddamned fucking furious that he never wanted to work with her again! Molly Ringwald metaphorically kicked the dude right in the dick and balls, shooting them up into space! Well, joke’s on Hughes. He’s the dead one!

Most of the extras in the film that play the “bad kids” in the detention scene, and around campus, weren’t thugs at all. They were football players from the various high schools in the area.
Don’t worry, audience. The “bad kids” weren’t thugs at all. Grandma, you can come out of hiding now. Everything’s okay.

Eric Stoltz, Lea Thompson, Elias Koteas and Molly Hagan were all born in 1961 making them all 24 or 25 when they were playing high schoolers.
Welcome to a John Hughes movie, is this your first time?

Welcome to high school! Here’s a copy of your homeowner’s insurance policy.

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

I’d call this a slight improvement over Pretty in Pink because there’s no Duckie, but it’s the same movie done over again. You can skip it if you want to, I won’t tell anybody.