Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #8 – “Black Dawn”! With this one we wrap up the first story arc of the Batman and Robin New 52 series. In the previous installment, NoBody’s holding Robin on his Big Boat of Acid and Batman is racing over to find them. He crashes his Batmobile through the roof and then he and NoBody fight for about forty pages.

Batman throws NoBody in the acid, but then decides to spare his life and pull him out. While Morgan is chained up, Bruce intends to dump him off on the police. Morgan quietly threatens a nearby Robin, and then before Bruce can stop him, Robin kills Morgan with a fatal jab between the eyes.

Robin’s gonna get a spanking and be sent to his room now.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #7 [May, 2012]
Written by: Peter J. Tomasi
“Driven”

“Damian…what have you done?” asks a horrerstruck Bruce. “What I had to do…what I needed to do…for you, father.” answers a tired, business-as-usual Robin, while he’s knuckles-deep into Morgan’s brain cavity. Bruce hoists the little fucker up in his arms. “We’re leaving.” Bruce says simply, while the boat around them burns and sinks.

Leaving Morgan’s corpse to sink with the wreckage, they climb into the Batmobile. Bruce engages his reverse thrusters and they blow another hole through the top of the boat. In a daze, Robin tells Bruce that he named the dog Titus. Bruce is like “yeah, ok kid, you just murdered a guy with two fingers. No dog for you, you maniac.”

Back at BATCAVE CENTRAL, Alfred has his best blue doctor’s smock on again so he can check up on Robin’s injuries. Alfred comments that Bruce, too, needs to be assessed, but our altruistic hero says he can wait. Alfred comments again that he looks like he’s ready to fall, and Bruce yells at him “AND I SAID FOCUS ON DAMIAN INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT ME — I’M FINE, DAMMIT!”. Alfred doesn’t want to dinged by the Comics Code Authority, so he holds back and just answers him with a snarky “Obviously.”

Remember to have your Bat Men spayed or neutered.

Alfred’s analysis shows some minor injuries that two weeks of rest will fix as long as Scrappy Doo over here actually will rest (he won’t). Bruce is relieved, thinking that Morgan had hurt him worse. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT! I’m smarter than you, Orange Juice Bruce. While Alfred is very concerned about the circumstances of Damian’s brief departure, Bruce insists that it was all a ruse to trap NoBody more easily. Alfred doesn’t seem to think all of it was a ruse. Bruce disagrees, basically saying “It was. NoBody’s dead. Damian’s here. End of story.” And Alfred, who is always the smarter one, barely concedes out of respect for the large oaf idiot rich guy Bruce Wayne.

Later, Bruce collapses while having a mental breakdown about Morgan dying at Robin’s hands instead of his own. When Alfred finds him, he can’t help but twist the knife with a quick “told ya so” before checking up on him too. Like Damian, Bruce has a concussion and a loss of blood from his wounds (and, funnily enough, zero acid-related injuries? Yeah, ok).

Damian is resting, actually resting holy shit, in his bedroom. Bruce sneaks in to drop-off a penis-sized thumbdrive. When Bruce leaves, Damian peeks open an eye, then plugs it into his phone and listens to the recording. Remember all those times I said that Batman was telling his story to not-Damian? Well, as it turns out, Batman was recording the whole story for Damian to listen to later. I suppose that makes sense! Peter J. Tomasi, you thought of everything! And here I am trying to poke my own plot holes right through your ironclad door of a story! My my, is my face red…

Cool neurotic podcast, dad. You’re a regular Marc Maron.

Later, Bruce is ripping sheets off the covered furniture in his father’s den, which has remained completely untouched since his parents’ murder. AND WE GET TO SEE THEM BEING TOUCHED IN THIS VERY ISSUE?! OH MY STARS, HOW SPECIAL! Robin pops into the doorway to let him know that he listened to his story. “Well, whatcha think, sonny ol’ boy??” Bruce asks him, clapping him on the back and letting out a hearty guffaw. Bruce tells him that the intention of Damian hearing those recorded thoughts was to let the little lad know that he is as much his son as he is his mother’s. “And what the shit fuck cunt hell does that mean, Dad?” Damian asks.

And Bruce tells him that the urge to kill is strong within him too, as it was within his mother, and that maturity is an important step to controlling it. Or something. I’m skimming! “You can’t face lunatics like we do on a daily basis and not have it boil up when they put innocent lives in jeopardy.” Bruce tells the little whipper-snapper. Killing bankrupts your soul, and all that jazz. Violence isn’t the solution to violence, kid! Damian admits that he doesn’t want to turn into some soulless killing machine like Morgan Ducard. “I want to be like you. I’ve always wanted to be like you.” he tells daddy dearest. Awww, oh my heart just simply cannot take it.

Live with the guilt, kid. This is the real world, everyone’s fucked up and no one cares!

So Damian asks how he can fix it, and Bruce says that he has to live with it. Tough talk.

Since Grumpy Uncle Alfred isn’t letting them leave the manor property for another day, the two of them decide to play catch with Damian’s new dog.

And as they play fetch, Alfred sighs up at the sky on the sidelines. “Just one night, is that too much to ask?” he frowns.

The Batsignal shines on.

Final Thoughts

Woo! That’s enough therapy for now! Congratulations, Peter Tomasi, I ridiculed your daddy issues but you made quite a realistic dynamic between Bruce and Damian. It’s too bad that the series couldn’t continue with the little sociopathic monster version of Damian Wayne, but a man can dream.

Like the New 52 Batman, and the New 52 Batgirl, this series also converges into the Night of the Owls crossover event after the first story arc (even if it is only one issue). I’ll have to table Batman and Robin for now, but I look forward to continuing with this one. Some day. If I ever get there! Too many comics, too little time.