Welcome to Manga Cum Loudly Presents: Death Note, Vol. 2, Chapter 14: “Temptation”! In the previous installment, this woman who is not actually named “Shouko” outsmarted the shit out of Raito, and he has five minutes to learn her real name before she makes it to the police station. Meanwhile, Ryuuku tries to goad him into accepting some Shinigami eyes, immediately cutting his lifespan in half. Raito thinks that plan sucks eggs.

At the hotel, Watari shows up and he’s an old man. He gives the detectives fake badges with no names on them, which is much dumber than just giving them NO badges. Undercover is the way to go.

Oh well.

Death Note, Vol. 2, Ch. 14
Written by: Tsugumi Ohba
Illustrated by: Takeshi Obata
“Temptation”

“So when you absolutely must say who you are, you use this fake badge.”

“Okay.”

No arm-twisting here! By now, these cats have spent 19 hours in the hotel room repeating themselves.

L tells them not to use it in the police station, because that would be Trouble with a capital T.

Watari takes out belts and tells them all they must wear one. Yeah, sure, around their necks while they jerk it right here in this hotel room. “There’s a transmitter hidden in the buckle,” Watari explains like he’s fucking Lucius Fox rom Batman with all the hookups. “This way, Ryuuzaki will always know your location.”

Yeah, so he can keep a close eye on them while he jerks it right here in this hotel room.

“Also… if you press the buckle twice… my cell phone will ring,” says Watari, demonstrating and holding up his phone smugly. How dumb is this shit? Press the buckle three times and it’ll blow up your dick.

So, carry on with your normal daily routines at the station (like jerkin’ it! Ha! Ok, I’ll stop now), and then immediately check into your hotel rooms after returning! Press the buckle or whatever. The Artist Formerly Known as L will need to know when you all are back and whatnot.

Oh, and someone needs to head back to HQ so that things don’t look suspicious! Eeny meeny miny moe, how about Aisawa! You stupid bitch, you’re it!

“ALRIGHT. IT SHOULDN’T TAKE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES TO GET BACK THERE,” Aisawa says importantly to a room full of people who know exactly how long it takes to get to HQ since they, like, work there too.

Anyway, what’s going on with Raito and that lady who is 100x smarter than him?

You had it coming, you little snotnose.

Gotta figure out her name. Gotta figure out her name. It’s not Shouko, but what else could it be? Sakura? Kanako? Etsuko? Mai? Alice? Chiaki? Hinata? Gertrude? Kevin?

So many to choose from and there are only *checks Apple Watch* three minutes left. Oh jumping jesus shit! What to do?

He approaches her. “Yes?” she asks, puzzled that this dumb kid is still following her even a little bit.

“The truth is, it’s impossible to contact the investiagators,” Raito says calmly, like he knows what he’s talking about with respect to anything unrelated to JERKIN’ IT! Hahaha, I will never stop!

Bolstered with confidence, he continues his trickery and deception! “Do you think it’s weird that there is nobody at the headquarters?” he asks her, getting it IN THE BAG as we speak. And she agrees that the weirdness is a bit odd. Even strange, you might say. And weird, too, I guess.

The strategy involves extensive plastic surgery, burning off the fingerprints, and a complete removal of the penis and balls.

He all but tells her to stop nosing around or else there may be about five million more deaths. Remember what happened to your fiancé? *drags finger across throat in the international gesture of “your fiancé got fucked”* So knock it off!

“I understand,” Fake-Shouko concedes. I don’t know this silver-tongued motherfucker keeps winning these conversations. I wouldn’t be swayed by his greasy-haired lack of anything that I could call charm. He looks like he smells like barbecue Fritos. “Hehe, Raito, you’re such a smooth talker,” Ryuuku grins, ready to jump this kid’s bones the first chance he gets.

“I’m trying to make her reveal her name,” Raito whispers or performs telepathy or something. “It’s a crucial moment right now, so could you just shut it for a second, Ryuuku.” Oooooooh, we’re getting testy! ♪♫ Someone’s nervous. ♫♪♫♪

When asked how he knows everything about the Kira investigation’s secret methods and their secret operations and why HQ is empty and this “unknown investigation team” nonsense, Raito’s only response is getting bug-eyed and going “!”.

“That is because…”

…

*ten minutes of complete awkward silence*

…

“…I guess I’ll just have to tell you…”

…

*fifteen minutes of awkward jerkin’* lol

“…it’s because I am a member of that investigation team.”

Yeah. A member of the East Asian Man Boy Love Association.

Now it’s Ryuuku’s turn to go “!”. You can tell he’s completely eating this up. Like a bowl of syrup.

He discusses L’s complete management of the case and his unhappiness with the lack of progress. He talks about how fucking smart he is and that, even though he’s still in high school, he has helped solve about a thousand cases for the incompetent police force. This is why Raito can move in and out of headquarters like he’s the Man. The Man About Town.

OK, the lady is convinced! Raito’s story is not only airtight, but even a little bit sexy! “That’s enough then,” she says. “I’ve told L everything I know.”

“Not yet,” Raito glares like a murderous imp. “I don’t know your name yet!!” Now, look here. I’d find the double exclamation points extremely suspicious. Little does Raito know, this woman has yet another surprise for him.

“I worked under L to solve a case two years ago in the States. Even though we only communicated through the computer, I believe there is no case that L cannot solve.”

This is a bombshell to end all bombshells. This woman used to be an FBI agent? Well, screw me sideways. A WOMAN IN THE FBI? Agent Dana Scully over here can be very useful to Raito now! He can be Mulder! “I can learn a lot from you,” he smiles.

No comment on this. Use your own imagination. You don’t need much of one.

It’s a good thing that Raito is part of the team! Not-Shouko intended to talk to the team and she just talked to the team! Mission accomplished!

“But, why would you tell me all the things that you’re going to tell L?” the kid asks, puzzled. And he’s not often puzzled. Unless he’s doing a 1000-piece puzzle.

It’s because she now trusts him. Even though they met 20 minutes ago. I don’t even trust people I met 20 years ago.

After a moment’s deliberation, Raito says something bold. “Let’s work on this case together.” This kid will go as far as he can to try to kill this woman. “Become a member of our team. This way, you can speak directly with L. No, you can catch Kira yourself.” How tempting! I’d rather stuff a watermelon in my butthole than spend two extra minutes with this kid. “We need someone like you.”

He just needs identification.

“Fate must want you to be on the team,” Raito smiles. Again, Ryuuku loves it. LOVES it. “Hoho, amazing Raito. Human females can’t resist the allure of ‘fate’.”

A snag in the plan is that Not-Shouko lives in the United States. It’s going to be tough for her to really be involved, you know. Now where’s that identification?

“We were planning to get married this spring and move to America afterwards… what am I going to do now?”

I don’t know, man. Find some new blowjob to marry? Identification, please.

Ma’am, license and registration please. You were going way below the speed limit on this conversation.

After she finally agrees to join the team, she apologizes to Raito for initially giving him a fake name. She coughs up her Japanese identification card.

Misora Naomi.

“What a stupid girl. It was so easy to get this,” Raito laughs to himself. He continues some idle chit chat. Aisawa passes by Raito on the sidewalk, heading for HQ, as Ratio starts jotting down all his Death Note information:

Misora Naomi

Suicide

2004, January 1st, 1:25 pm

not to bother anyone else.

suicide in a secretive place only she knows of.

body will be difficult to find.

will think about suicide henceforth.

death within 48 hours.

“Um…why are you always checking your watch?” Naomi asks, concerned.

“Oh, this? That’s because…it’s because of Kira,” he winks devilishly!

“Huh?”

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

The watch hits 1:25pm.

START!

Naomi does an about-face and starts walking away. “I have something I must do,” she says, vaguely. Raito pulls out his phone. “Oh, it seems like my dad finally called back. Want to talk to him?”

“There is nothing to talk about.”

Naomi continues to walk away.

Farewell, Misora Naomi.

Final Thoughts

MY PREDICTION. This woman’s constitution is too strong for actual suicide. Ryuuku is going to be all “ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, suicide won’t work on this woman because it would never, ever be a reasonable consideration! Ho ho ho!”

And then Raito will panic before an evening of sadness masturbation.