Total excitement over what sounds like the most boring festival imaginable, Rand and Mat mill about the inn eating bread and cakes while the Village Council meets up in the in lobby. They’re huddled in a tight circle, close enough to take turns kissing each other, to discuss very important and clandestine matters! Rand’s dad Tam is there, and the meeting is being led by Mayor Bran. He gesticulates very seriously. I wonder what they’re talking about. Maybe where to hide the Town Whore while everyone enjoys Bel Tine?

Rand and Mat’s good buddy Ewin Finnegar, aka Ewww Vinegar, aka Ewan McGregor, excitedly reports the presence of strangers in Emond’s Field! Bonafide strangers! People not from around these parts! Why, there hasn’t been a stranger in town since that one guy who thought he could hide there, but then couldn’t because the whole town knows each and every single one of the 24 inhabitants and everyone kept giving him the ol’ stink eye until he left. These NEW strangers seem nice though. And, like, really good looking. Especially the woman. Her name is Moiraine, and they portray her as some sort of radiant alien being.

A raven startles the three boys by staring at them ominously. Rand and Mat are tired of being stared at today, God Fucking Damnit! Enough with the staring! Moiraine approaches to admonish the bird and the three boys are so flustered that they trip over their words and their boners. This particular stranger is going to be around a while, so get used to it kiddos. Also, she might have some weird errands and chores for them to do, and they all better do what she says… or else! Haha! No, she seems nice… or does she? She DOES give them each a silver coin that looks to be worth enough to buy a couple of nights with the Town Whore.

They’re all stunned and happy… and then the peddler arrives! Holy shit! The peddler! The peddler with his various treats and trinkets and FIREWORKS that will assuredly blow off some kid’s arm down to the elbow. A peddler and fireworks and cakes and the really hot stranger — and don’t forget the gleeman! The gleeman seems like he’s going to be a sex offender, but we’ll see. He’s probably just some guy in clown makeup who drove his beat up Ford Escort into town with a five o’clock shadow and mouthwash on his breath.