We haven’t seen Rand and Mat since they ran away from Whitebridge and Thommy Gleeman presumably got murdered by some Myrddraal Dark One Fade Trolloc Draghkar thing. Now they walking aimlessly in a direction that may or may not be on a bearing headed toward Caemlyn. It doesn’t matter, that’s not important right now. The important thing is that these two are a couple of losers who are all but starving to death as they try to gain as much ground as they can during they daylight to avoid getting chased down by whatever (presumably) killed Thom. They’re eating dirt and twigs and sleeping on pointy rocks and it’s a sad state of affairs.

Rand wants Mat to sell his incredibly ornate Shadar Logoth dagger, but Mat is greedy and wants to keep it. He makes a point though: who is he going to sell it to? Some farmer who only has chickens? Some peddler who will think he stole it? Because he did steal it? Fat chance, it ain’t gonna work.

The people have been less than nice on the road. The boys offer their (non-sexual) services at farms in return for food and place to stay for the night, but often that have to sleep in the bushes like damn animals. Their luck turns around when they come across a the Grinwell farm with a nine-child family. After a day’s work, the oldest daughter named Else keeps giving Rand the ol’ fuck-eyes. To break the tension and not have Dad beat the shit out of him, Mat and Rand use their gleeman training to entertain the family throughout the evening. Mr. Grinwell tells them that he would have paid good money for this kind of entertainment at an inn, and Mat and Rand get a lightbulb moment here. Going forward they start playing at inns to get food and warm beds every night. They think they’ve got it made; they think their luck has completely turned around…

…until they get to Four Kings.

This chapter ends on a cliffhanger. I am LITERALLY DYING FROM SUSPENSE to know what happens in Four Kings. Do they fall into a bottomless pit? Do they puke out their own intestines from food poisoning? Do they get chased around by these dumb Fades again? Do they accidentally kill all four kings? Holy shit, dude. I need to know.