“The Last Village” must refer to the last stop Mat and Rand make before finally getting to Caemlyn. Perhaps their luck will turn around here in a big way, finding streets lined with brothels full of sultry young women who aren’t afraid to do anything do get paid in heron-hilt swords.

The two of them sleep in a haystack, which sounds exceedingly uncomfortable (especially with all the damn needles that they find within it!).

I forget the name of the village, but who cares. It’s the last village! Near the village inn, the duo overhears two men having a conversation. One (Almen Bunt) speaks to the innkeeper (Raimun Holdwin) about two young men, Darkfriends, who are making their way from village to village. One has stolen a heron-hilt sword (!). Bunt thinks this is a load of poppycock and intends to continue his current excursion to Caemlyn so he can take a good once-over on this so-called Dragon.

After their conversation is over, Rand approaches Bunt the Cunt and tells him “hey we’re going to Caemlyn too, heh heh heh, and we’re definitely not two young men who are Darkfriends making our way from village to village with a heron-hilt sword (!)”, and Bunt agrees to take these dumb kids to the city.

This Bunt fellow is pretty talkative, going on and on about Queen Morgase and her advisor Elaida, an Aes Sedai. Some people say that Morgase is just a puppet with Elaida pulling the strings, but Bunt is a Queen’s man through and through. Poppycock! Too much poppycock today!

Rand is intrigued by this Elaida, and has the notion to look her up in the phone book if they can’t find Moiraine and Lan in Caemlyn. I have a feeling this will happen, because they made a point to bring it up! I’m onto you, Robert Jordan.

Rand has another dream about his friends being dead and a bird pecking out his eye, you know, the normal everyday stuff. He wakes up not a moment too soon! They’re in Caemlyn!

OK, I hope we start focusing on Perrin and Egwene again for a little bit. I know they’re not heading to Caemlyn anymore, but I’m tired of these two saps sapping around! Let’s go back to Nynaeve instead, now that I consider further. She’s still the best character and she’s only had about ten minutes of screentime.