Finally, finally, finally, finally, Mat and Rand make it to Caemlyn via a ride from the Very Friendly Bunt. Bunt kicks them out of his carriage and advises Rand to either hide his sword, sell it, or just get rid of it. Not wanting to really do any of that, Rand decides, for now, to hide it under his North Face jacket until he can find a better solution.

Caemlyn is huge; possibly the largest city that these hayseeds will ever come across. Mat is overwhelmed and starts losing his shit about how they aren’t safe from the Fades and how all their friends are dead. Rand slaps him across the face until he breaks all his teeth and tells him to get it together, man! Everything’s going to be fine! A city as large as this one, nobody will find nobody. You can bet your butt on that.

Along the way, Rand notices that anyone with a sword has the hilt wrapped in either red or white silk. Rand buys some red silk with a white cord and covers the heron hilt. This is likely going to be important later. Perhaps the silk represents a faction that Rand is accidentally pledging loyalty to, and it’s going to turn out to be the Caemlyn equivalent of NAMBLA.

Before Gleeman Thom “died”, he told the two of them to make their way to an inn called The Queen’s Blessing as soon as possible once they reach Caemlyn. Mat and Rand spend a good chunk of time asking people around town for directions until they happen upon it. The inn is run by Basel Gill, a fat guy who knows Thom from old times. He suggests that Thom, like Michael Malloy, is very hard to kill, nodding to the audience that Thom is still very much alive somewhere. Gill has a tense relationship with Thom, as does the whole city of Caemlyn for that matter, since he not only slept with the queen but also ditched her to deal with matters with respect to his nephew. This led to a bounty on Thom’s head, which is still in play, so he best not show his multi-mustached face around these parts if he knows what’s good for him.

The inn is absolutely crowded and rooms cost ten arms and three legs, but since Mat and Rand are friends with Thom, the innkeeper decides to let them stay gratis for now. Just don’t piss him off.