Ugh, a dream sequence! Every time I have to read a dream sequence I’m going to bitch about having to read a dream sequence. They’re never good. They’re always bad. I’m not even going to describe the dream. There’s dancing evil people and his friends dancing and cackling and saying evil things. Rand is a pussy.

Rand was sleeping in Egwene’s room and they most definitely did not bone. There’s no boning in Wheel of Time. Egwene’s not there, though, but Nynaeve is sitting there knitting in a rocking chair like a 250-year-old woman. When Rand asks where Egwene is, Nynaeve tells him that she’s visiting Fain Padan in his jail cell. She does that a lot for reasons that are completely beyond my understanding. Maybe so she can throw rocks at him?

The subject goes to Ba’alzamon, and Rand really fucks up by name dropping “Shai’tan” (which is like “Satan”, only Robert Jordan really took a creative leap with his own take on it). Nynaeve is like “now you’ve gone and done it”, but Rand tells her to lighten up since the devil’s dead. He’s dead and not coming back. Suddenly, alarm bells go off and Rand runs out of the room against Nynaeve’s wishes. Lacking etiquette, he barrels through hallways of women with a sword on his person. Very taboo in the land of Fal Dara!

Down the hallway, Rand runs into some bad guys! A few Trollocs and a goddamned Fade! Remember Fades? They’re like Myrddraals except Fadier. Ingtar, the Fal Dara knight or whatever, shows up and offers to make short work of these creeps. Rand continues running toward the jail, where he finds the disembodied heads of two guards sitting on a table, with the following written in blood on the door (and yes, it IS in all caps!): “WE WILL MEET AGAIN ON TOMAN HEAD. IT IS NEVER OVER, AL’THOR”

Spooky!

Liandrin the Red Ajah Cunt pops in and, thinking Rand is about to blow up the town with an atomic bomb or something, tries to choke the breath right out of him Magic Style. Moiraine shows up to stop it, which allows Rand to check on Fain’s cell. He gone. Egwene and Mat are lying on the floor unconscious, but breathing. Mat’s dagger is gone, and he looks worse for wear. Ingtar shows up to report that the Horn of Valere is now missing, which is the most bumbling of all occurrences thus far!

We end with Rand bumping into Lan, who tells him that the lockdown orders have been lifted and his possessions have been returned to his quarters. Rand is free to leave if he wants to! Time for a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast!