Ah yes. This right here, this is the good shit. Rand is a dead man walkin’! He is led to Siuan, the Amyrlin Seat, and he takes note of how smooth the cheeks are of every Aes Sedai that he decides to look at. He’s quite nervous, filling his pants with more and more poop with every step he takes. Every bond he breaks. Every breath he takes. He’ll be watching you.

Rand approaches the Big Mean Siuan and she starts talking to Moiraine and Verin (the cold, soulless Brown Ajah). Moiraine discusses Tam al’Thor and drops some info that Rand has never known before. Tam was in the army. He was in opposition of the Whitecloak War. He rose to the rank of Captain of the *checks notes* of the Companions? They must be like the Union to the Whitecloaks’ Confederacy! Tam boned a woman from the Aiel Wastes and returned to Two Rivers with a shitty baby son. His name was Rand, and he sucks.

Rand is like “brrrt!” at this information. Then Siuan is told to take the heron-hilt sword for examination, which Rand is like “brrrt!” about. Then Rand is told that Mat and Perrin are joining Ingtar to find the Horn of Valere and he should go with them, please. Also, Siuan knows that Rand can channel the One Power! “Brrrt!”

They’re not going to gentle the lad, though. He’s the Dragon Reborn! They straight up tell him this all matter-of-factly. Like, “yeah, didn’t you know?” Rand doesn’t believe it, and he continually challenges it. Siuan remains stoic and tries not to roll her eyes. The ones above her smooth cheeks.

Rand insists that the Dark One is dead and there should be no more efforts to thwart the beast! After more stern talking-tos, Rand takes his leave. Siuan, Moiraine, and Verin are all worried about how strong Rand is. He’s a strong boy. Wheaties and whole milk every day.

This is a long chapter! We cut to Nynaeve, the undisputed best character of the book, who tries to follow Rand after he storms off in a huff from Siuan’s chambers. She instead runs into Lan, who we all know she has the hots for. Lan gifts her with a ring that, supposedly, allows her to contact him whenever she needs him. He’s kind of mean about it, too. Nynaeve then bumps into Moiraine, who tells her that it’s time to start heading toward Tar Valon whether she likes it or not! Then Nyneave bumps into Egwene and tells her to stop calling her a Wisdom. There’s nothing Wisdomy about their current situation!

We end with Egwene and Rand having an awkward conversation about both of them going their separate ways and how they’ll never see each other again, maybe. Possibly. Egwene promises to find him and help him when she becomes the strongest Aes Sedai that the World of Time has ever known! Rand is like “yeah right. Bye.”

These people are all a bunch of sad-sacks. We need a gleeman on the premises, stat.