Thom Merrilin is alive! Thom! The Rapey Gleeman! Thom Merrilin! Yippee!

Rand runs back to his Motel 6 and grabs Thom’s harp and flute. Rand insists that Loial join him to meet this dude, but Loial doesn’t wanna. Rand says “too bad” and lifts Loial by the scruff and throws him out of the inn.

They travel to Thom’s inn where they are told to wait in his room with a woman named Dena. This woman sounds hella sexy, all sorts of slim with dark shoulder-length hair and juggling about ten balls on the bed. She doesn’t want Rand and Loial to stick around, but since the innkeeper allowed them to wait (and I’m not sure who this fucking innkeeper thinks she is), Dena is like “fine”. They learn that Dena intends to be the first female gleeman. A gleewoman?! Largely nonsense! But, later, Thom says she has more talent in her fourth-dimensional penis than Rand has in his whole three-dimensional micropenis.

Anyway, Thom eventually shows up, smooches the future gleewoman, and then says “gimme day harp, boy!” After fondling it for a minute or two, he asks Dena to leave. Rand tells Thom that he has the Horn, which causes the gleeman to laugh with glee, man. Sarcastic mirth, actually. EVERYONE has the Horn these days, suuuuuure. Once Rand tells him the Moiraine assured that it was the real deal, Thom shuts his mouth.

Rand really, really, really, really wants Thom to join him on his journey back to Shienar to return the Horn, but Thom doesn’t wanna. Rand says “too bad” and lifts Thom by the scruff and–

Thom tells Loial to leave now, and he and Rand have a chat about Dragons Reborn and all that jazz. Is there a connection between the Dragon and the Horn of Valere? Thom doesn’t know this, and he knows a lot. Thom was even certain that Rand was the One, but since Moiraine left him alone to wander to country, perhaps it isn’t so. Nevertheless, Thom isn’t joining him on his quest. He’s not. He ain’t. And that’s final.

After Rand leaves, Thom thinks about the conversation they just had. Zera, the innkeeper, visits Thom and asks if he’s going to get himself all mixed up in the Game of Houses again. Sounds like it to me! Zera says he should quit the Game and marry Dena and have a brood of gleechildren.

Thom is just happy that Rand has been cut free from the Aes Sedai. Those chicks are bad news…