I don’t feel like writing much today! I’m going to let the good folks of the GoComics.com and ComicsKingdom.com comments sections do most of the legwork for me today! I’m gonna take a nap!

Arlo and Janis

Arlo and Janis rarely has a detectable punchline, so about 95% of the fun comes from reading the online comments from all the barely-literate Boomer generation representatives of the Sunday comics fandom. These online comments usually come in three flavors: a) the people who actually admit to not understanding the comic, b) the people who mistakenly think they understand the comic and try to supplement the strip with their own raucous comedy routine, and c) the people who mistakenly think they understand the comic and try to get a conversation going about something mundane that, at best, corresponds tenuously to the strip’s subject matter or, at worst, is just a bunch of aimless bitching. Let’s see a little bit from all three!

C: “That’s the hole thing?”
JessieRandySmithJr.: “Not sure I get it. Is it spring yard work time for them?”
ChessPirate: “As Captain Ahab would say it: ‘He breaches!’”
its just me: “No shadow, they should go back to bed for more hibernation.”
assrdood: “We had one unseasonably warm day back in late March. Worked outside all day. Now, I feel like I’m all over it for the season.”
david_42: “Yesterday we filled about 20 new containers with potting soil, added compost to a similar number of older containers and planned to transplant vegetable plants today: it railed all night, it’s cold and rainy now, with more cold and rain in the forecast … for the next week.”

Hey, this is fun! I’ll do this from now on.

Mother Goose & Grimm

Ooooh, check out the sassy snap from Mother Goose! Let’s see what the public has to say about this!

Max: “When the chick is away, the boys don’t play.”
Michael Alan: “Miss Campbell is always in the soup.”
gstove9999: “Miss Campbell is the reason for all the gossip. She should keep her shades down.”

Well. that was boring! I was hoping to find a lot of self-loathing misogyny and maybe some weird oversharing such as “I’d fuck that bird”. Maybe next time we’ll try a little harder.

Mary Worth

Now we’re talking! It’s good to see that this Mary Worth storyline about Toby’s accidental inappropriate relationship with one of her students hasn’t moved along one bit since the last two times I covered it! For all I know, this has been going on for a straight year now!

I’m going to skip the part where Toby’s nightmares bear the emotional complexity of a child’s anxieties. Bring on the comments!

snickers: “Meanwhile, Ian is dreaming about touring the Calvert whiskey distillery.”
The Real Bill: “Ahab’s corpse lies motionless.”
Funkaholic: “‘It’s goose bump time at the old plantation.’ – Jack Whitaker (?), the 1975 Masters”
snark attack: “I actually did fall out of bed once while dreaming that I was falling…I landed on my shoulder, and it hurt for weeks afterwards!”
Walter Hammann: “Wow, that s some nasty fall. Hopefully, Toby didn’t land on her coccyx. I’ve landed on my tail bone after a fall a couple of weeks ago and it’s still sore. I recommend sleeping with a heating pad and applying some Voltarin gel 4 times a day. Also, if Ian is agreeable, he can insert his fingers up her anu$ and massage her coccyx.”

Wow! Heh heh! Take it easy, all you bad boys and girls!