Yo, it’s Easter, and the comics page largely doesn’t seem to know this. We’re also in the middle of Ramadan and Passover, but do you think the American newspapers are even going to touch those with a 400-foot pole? Hardly!

A small handful of strips do acknowledge Easter. Certainly those pesky Family Circus children will spend the 62nd year of their childhood attending church! Let’s take a look.

Zits

Teenagers are insufferable, am I right? You try to do a nice thing for one of them, preparing a charitable little Easter basket, and they just go and pour a laundry detergent bottle of milk all over the contents. Typical. One step closer to type 2 diabetes.

tarball: “Hopefully those aren’t plastic eggs with surprises in them.”
Brian Bickley: “Wait till tomorrow morning. Those eggs are going to come out rough.”
mmt3k: “Wait until Jeremy discovers that Connie painted hollowed-out eggs instead of hardboiled ones!”

You got that right, everyone! Jeremy’s eating plastic for breakfast! Crazy stuff!

Family Circus

My own dad was born in 1956, and I’m almost 100% sure that at least Billy should be older than he is. I feel sorry for the Family Circus parents, I don’t think they knew what they were getting into. Child-rearing isn’t supposed to take six decades. Just an infernal existence caring for ageless little urchins. Jeffy looks like Regis Philbin.

Are they attending a megachurch? Are they going to Joel Osteen’s Easter service, which probably costs $400 per person for a seat?

MadmanTX: “Wait til the crowd tramples each other getting out of the church when mass is over and then flips each other off in the parking lot trying to get out of their spaces.”
Bill F.: “We know the underwear comment wasn’t made by Thel…she goes Commando!”
MadmanTX: “The only family that the priest hands free condoms to at the door of the church.”
Bill F.: “Look at that satisfied smile, PJ’s just relieved himself!”

Looks like MadmanTX and Bill F. are the ones to watch for devilishly bawdy Family Circus commentary! Middle fingers? Mommy not wearing underpants? I don’t want to go to Hell for accidentally reading such ribald subject matter on Easter Sunday! :[ :[ :[

Curtis

Look at these good Christians! The Wilkins brothers are always attending church without their heathen atheist parents, and one of the proudest recurring Curtis traditions is throwing shade about all the women’s hats. As in, nothing throws shade quite like these hats! See, I can do it too.

Bucinka: “Have a blessed holiday, all, and don’t forget to rock your best Black Church Hat! (I like the pink one in panel 5… .)”
David Rickard: “He sneaks all that junk food in with him, Barry. And for the sake of your mental health–and to avoid losing your breakfast–don’t ask where he hides it.”
Bluegirl285: “Barry always chews Curtis out for making fun of the ladies hats, yet he’s the one laughing at those stale jokes.”

Oh boy, we certainly have fun here, don’t we? And yes, Bluegirl285, that is part of the joke! Thanks for stopping by.