Not so fast! I’m not going to let a Sunday go by without spotlighting a few Sunday strips! Please. Who do you think I am? Some lazy asshole?

F-Minus

Just another day in the F Minus world! Fending off Halloween horror creatures in February, I see. In theory I like this joke, because the idea of just one skeleton knocking on the door signifying an entire apocalypse to this guy is pretty funny! But why doesn’t he know the difference between zombies, mummies, and skeletons? Sounds like someone who is completely ill-prepared for handling an apocalypse. Too late now.

I like to think that this skeleton is just a new neighbor, and he has simply come over to introduce himself. He looks friendly to me, all waving and smiling. I bet he works in Human Resources.

Frazz

It’s bad enough that Frazz started off in 2001 as a blatant Calvin & Hobbes ripoff, and likely continued to be one for the next 21 years. I wouldn’t know, I’m not a loyal Frazz follower. People actually though that “Jef Mallett” was just Bill Watterson using a pen name. I mean, Jeff with one “F”? What is this, a Pixies song? Mallett was reportedly flattered, but he shouldn’t be. It’s not usually a good thing to be recognized as someone who ripped off the best newspaper comic strip artist who ever lived.

But when you don’t even have a coherent punchline? Only excusable if you’re Achewood! First of all, that bit about 60 having no points? What about the top end of the 6? That’s a fucking point, son.

Second of all, the whole setup revolved around the “no point” callback, so why keep going with the dialogue after you’re done? Now you’re just gonna confuse a bunch of aging Walmart employees from middle America about the “65 – 69 BQ” part. They’re going to think they’ll need to look out for it in their next AARP newsletter.

Baby Blues

Ah yes, Baby Blues. The comic strip to turn to for a quick, strained chuckle if you’ve unwisely decided to start a family and ruin your life. I would probably avoid downloading the app that spits out sticky notes with a sickening “BLORP!” if I aimed to keep my many affairs in order such as “soccer” and “pick up mulch”.

But let’s turn our attention to the children playing in the background, who appear to be rubbing their itchy backs on the grass (excessive heroin abuse) and stumbling around in a dizzy haze (excessive alcohol and/or inhalant abuse). I think something sinister is going down in the McPherson’s neighborhood. Something that a pile of sticky notes will not keep covered forever.