Happy Father’s Day! I spent the day doing dad shit like eat a carburetor and hitting golf balls in the grocery store.

Hey, the Sunday Funnies section also celebrates Father’s Day! Join me, will you?

Luann

Yo Brad, I don’t know how to detail a car either, but I’m pretty there’s more finesse to it than slapping a large, wet, soapy sponge on it. Maybe. I have no idea.

I’m not sure how old Brad is, but I’m going to guess he’s at least 31, so fifteen years ago he was 16. Which means he REALLY fucking sucked at spelling! I’m sorry, you have to really suspend your disbelief for that joke to work. Still doesn’t change the fact that Brad should have probably moved out of the house by now.

I can’t wait to see all the boring old white people talk about their own adventures with car detailing in the comments.

Brdshtt: “My old man was a real schitt. He never let anyone else drive his car, and as a result, my Mom never drove a car her entire life. When I was young, I was allowed to wash and wax it though. The day before I was to start driver training in high school, my Mom pointed a finger at him and told him to get his azz in the car and let me drive. Prior to that, no one else was even allowed to put the key in the ignition and start it.”
blunebottle: “Old Car Sunday in the Park today in Mission, BC, in honour of Father’s Day. Hoping the rain holds off…”
w16521: “On this Father’s day, we mostly think of mom. Because lets be honest, dads just aren’t that important. This is why this day doesn’t get nearly the attention that Mother’s Day gets.”

Well, I was close, but it’s that final comment that really gets me. “Because lets be honest, dads just aren’t that important.” Well then, how I about I just disappear into the Japanese Suicide Woods and see how not important my daughters think my absence is! All I gotta do is get a plane ticket, and… ugh, that sounds like way too much work. I’m bored already.

Baby Blues

♪♫♫And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon/Little boy blue and the man in the moon♪♫♫♪♫♫
Look, I’m no professional comic strip writer kinda guy, but today’s Baby Blues would have been much better if they removed the last panel completely. OR, ended it with Darryl frowning in his chair with a thousand-yard stare in his sad eyes. Comedy!

Aladar30: “My phone talk with my father are all like that. Sometimes I wonder if this is beautiful or terrible.”
HappyDog: “Talking is women’s work, it seems.”
Bill the Nuke: “IF either of my sons call me today the conversation will be very similar to this at first. Then the oldest will hit me up for money.”

How depressing! And, in one case, unnecessarily misogynist! Looks like some of you need to learn how to be better dads and/or better children. Not anyone’s fault but your own.

Mallard Fillmore

The writer(s) for Mallard Fillmore are more than happy to consistently pander to the Grumpy GOP demographic, so I find it ironic that the whining crybaby is the one who defends himself by using the phrase “tells it like it is”. That’s basically a republican credo. That philosophy is the reason they elect horrible loud-mouths with no filter.

It’s interesting to see the phrase in a context where the punchline involves a guy using these words against himself and his obviously subpar parenting. I consider this very telling.

ianoguy24 “Want to know why we (Conservatives) don’t trust the MSM? Example: Taylor Lorenz of the Washington Post. Another example: Gabriela Miranda of USA Today. Yet, Libs will still defend them even AFTER their fabricated quotes and stories are proved to be fraudulent.”
rayg: “NAACP and BLM demand that Father’s Day be moved to some other month than June because it now falls too close to Juneteenth. In fact, this year they fall on the same day. NAACP and BLM says that having Father’s Day so close to Juneteenth is racist because it makes absent black fathers look bad. [Did I make that up or am I just prophetic?]”
sherlock1234: “Walmart decided to stop selling MyPillow products in its stores. Walmart executives said they just found out that My Pillow was made in the US by US workers and not China. We have rules about where our products are made, they opined.”

God, I love the Mallard Fillmore comments section. Just a bunch of purple-faced cranks who go to a comics website to rehash all the points they already made over at Truth Social. It’s summer, go outside.

Garfield

BONUS STRIP! I don’t usually put four strips in these features because I’m lazy as all get-out, but today’s a special day! It’s Garfield the Cat’s 91st birthday! Happy birthday you fat piece of shit. Snarf indeed.

I find today’s strip extremely offensive, and I get more and more offended as each year passes by, because there is not ONE mention of Juneteenth to be found! At all! Far be it from me to expect any representation of people of color WHATSOEVER within this stuck-in-the-past comic strip, but to not even acknowledge the holiday at all? Disgusting.

Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano): “no cake, cupcakes, nor punch (or limeade or even Mountain Dew?) for Odie, Liz, and Jon?”
baleyeman42: “Happy birthday, happy birthday, whoopdy doo whoopdy doo, May your day be pleasant, open up your present, just for you, just for you!”
huntingforgarfield: “Happy 44th Birthday, Garfield!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I used 44 exclamation points.”

Wow, what a surprise, a slew of bigoted individuals with their heads in the sand. If this is where America is headed, then I for one can be counted out. Good day.