Sometimes I read through the Sunday comics and I can’t believe how many of them there actually are. So very many strips drawn by by hyperactive nerds, all gunning for real estate on pages of newspapers in the biggest cities in the country. It’s a competitive market!

And the bar is really low. That’s the sad

Daddy Daze

This premise is too insane to be humorous. I think the dad from Daddy Daze needs to get a babysitter for at least seventeen days, find a hotel, hire a prostitute, and get some sleep for a couple of weeks. That would do him a lot of good. And then afterward, if he’s smart, he’ll disappear off the grid completely.

agent222: “I have even overseen $18510 just inside essentially working position through home PC.^er81^Since I’d lost my past vocation, I was so disrupted and fortunately I found this simple web-based task that is the reason I can procure thousand USD just from my home.^er81^Everyone can positively sing up this simple work and could make more dollars internet investigating following connection.”

Ha! The only comment that Daddy Daze gets is spam. Very telling.

Judge Parker

Is Judge Parker supposed to be at all funny? What are they going for here? Undercutting the bizarre drama with snark in order to keep the irrevocably dwindling audience present and attentive? They have to do better than that! I suggest shoehorning in a cat who likes lasagna. That has proved to be effective with focus groups.

Mom: “‘Judgmental Parker’”
William Thompson: “Good. More of the Judge Parker conversations should end so quickly, if not before they start.”
Bob Tice: “If cutting-edge theoretical physicists are right that there is a multiverse, does that mean that there is at least one universe in which every single conversation anyone has is punctuated with at least one smart-aleck remark that is utterly inappropriate to the context of the discussion and is thus completely out of place? Because if there is, we appear to be peering in at precisely such a universe.”
Funkaholic: “This is really kind of profoundly unbelievably excruciatingly mind-numbingly boring.”

The people have spoken, and Judge Parker is wack these days! Maybe newspapers should start dropping the strip, but I suppose after 70 years it’s an institution at this point.

A mental institution.

Sally Forth

This is what it has come to! Ted is so dissatisfied in his long, arduous marriage that his suicide ideation has become all-encompassing. He is literally daydreaming about dying. AND, not only that, but scheming to make his wife accountable!

I predict dark days ahead.

The quiet one: “Sally looks worse than the crazed doll.”
JL: “Ted needs something for that lawn. Or is it only a sickly color in his mind?”
VB Michaelis: “I hope Ted is still taking his meds”

I feel like the comic strip reading public was so SHOCKED by today’s strip that they’re mostly at a loss for words! We can only hope that everyone’s favorite cartoon character, Ted from Sally Forth, will readjust his attitude and stay alive to make us “laugh” for many years to come.