QUICK SYNOPSIS

A damning report on childhood obesity in Springfield leads to the formation of a pee-wee football team. After belittling Ned Flanders, Homer ends up coaching the team, but his favoring of Bart makes him unpopular.

POINTLESS GUEST STAR(S)

Joe Namath as himself is pretty pointless, but at least his car broke down in front of the Simpson house. If this was Season 13 he would show up for no reason out of nowhere and go “Bart, I heard that you needed some help.” And then he would shill the Medicare Coverage Helpline on Cozi TV.

WHY THIS EPISODE SUCKS

This would have been a classic in Season 5. It’s almost like Season 9’s good episodes teeter so close to the brink of the cesspit that it feels much more precarious than anything that came before it. Otherwise, I would be in love with “Bart Star”. Most of the humor comes from Homer, who has a lot of fantastic one-liners like “If you come back and play for the team, I promise I’ll never encourage you again” and “From now on I’m gonna be kinder to my son and meaner to my dad”.

The plot is solid without anything fucking stupid happening; a very grounded episode about youth football. In Season 17 they would have goblins popping up out of the ground to steal the ball and take it into their cavernous underground cities, leaving only Lunchlady Doris and Gil available to save the day. I have literally no complaints in this department. In fact, Homer overcompensating by doting on Bart is a great plot vehicle anyway, and it’s not something he would be doing anymore. It’s nice to see from him the last vestiges of misguided parenting with good intentions.

Some of the jokes are pretty dumb, though, but they’re early on in the episode. Dr. Hibbert concerned about Homer’s “gravy level” is a real Zombie Simpsons-caliber joke that could have been written a million times better, as is the whole scene with Marge presenting the concept of first aid. Then the “I wanna C-U-P” line is childish and made me groan until I had a stroke.

All said and told, though, this is pretty much peak Season 9.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

Rod Flanders wears the number 6, and his brother Todd wears the number 66. When Bart is named the starting quarterback, Rod and Todd stand next to each other, their numbers form 666, the sign of the beast.
Oh no!

The final scene took a long time to write. The writing staff found it difficult to come up with a resolution that would end on positive terms for Bart and Homer, and was originally different when it was read at the writing table.
Oh no!

Marv Albert was originally going to play Roy Firestone’s part as a sports radio host, but was dropped following sexual assault charges that were made against him around the time the episode was in pre-production.
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The director of the episode, Dominic Polcino, greatly enjoyed the episode, and claims that it is his favorite episode that he directed.
Oh yes!

FINAL GRADE
A-