I’ll probably say this every two chapters, but shit is starting to get real. And by that, I literally mean it. All these stories and fables of Trollocs and Aes Sedai and Warders and the Dark One and Dragons and the will of the Wheel and all that happy horseshit, in the span of 15 hours it has all been elevated from “story and fable” status to “this is all real, you wretched dinguses” status.

Tam is in the fast lane of dying as Rand continues to haul his limp dead weight all the way to Emond’s Field. Terrified of Trollocs and other ghoulies, Rand ignores the searing pain in his elbows and ass and every other part of his body as he huffs and puffs up Quarry Road. HOPE TURNS TO UTTER DESPAIR when he discovers half of Emond’s Field burned down to the ground! People are running around like wild turkeys trying to save all their crappy belongs, like spoons and ribbons, from the sooty wreckage. People may be dead, but it doesn’t sound like many are dead. There is just a lot dying, and maybe just a lot of crabbiness to boot. The Trollocs is what did them in. Lots of Trollocs. The place was lousy with Trollocs and now their humble town has been Trollocked to kingdom come.

Nynaeve, the Wisdom, slaps Tam around a bit and then determines that he cannot be saved! I like to think that Rand interrupted her from a lovely cake and some Jeopardy! and she’s just irritated that someone had the nerve to bug her. Anyway, Tam is too far gone. He’ll die soon and there’s nothing anyone can do about it! Bye bye, now.

Rand then goes to the Mayor, who sends the gleeman over to talk to Nynaeve and hears the same damn thing all over again. Eventually, Mayor Bran “Flakes” al’Vere spills the beans about Moiraine being an Aes Sedai and Lan being her Warder. In fact, both of them were about 99.9% the reason why the Trollocs are no longer in town, why the entire village wasn’t razed to the ground, and why anyone is still alive let alone, in most cases, barely wounded. Rand poops his teenage pants over this news, but Aes Sedai can be healers. They can also be mean, evil little witches. Rand is willing to do anything to heal his father, so he tracks down Moiraine in the village and prods her into trying to save his father. She agrees to help… but at a price… and we don’t know what that price is yet… but Rand will need to pay the price… and sexual favors are certainly not off the table.

WILL TAM LIVE? Probably not. WILL RAND OWE MOIRAINE ANYWAY? Probably. WILL THE TROLLOCS RETURN? Most definitely. WILL EGWENE AND RAND BONE? Most definitely not. WILL ANYONE IN THE SERIES HAVE A NORMAL NAME? Fuck no.