Now that we’re in full swing in 2023 and I’ve already broken my New Year’s resolution to stop spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on designer belt buckles, we can all settle back into crushing post-holiday reality. I, for one, embrace the next two months of bleak, gloomy Chicago weather. I hope your hometown is also experiencing weather that would require you to buy one of those SAD lamps. Misery loves company.

Speaking of misery loving company, share my disappointment in the Sunday comics, will you?

Frazz

I can get behind all of this except for two things:

1) Get to bed within a 15-minute margin of 8:30? Excuse me, Calvin and Hobbes ripoff comic, but I don’t own a farm and I don’t need to get up seven hours before the sun rises. Consider this: I hate my life between 7am and 9:30pm and the only respite I get from my sad, sorry existence happens in the dead of night when the rest of my time zone is asleep! I suggest getting to bed between a 15-minute margin of 2am, THEN you’ll really have a solid existence.

2) The physics is incorrect on the lever. The fulcrum should be on the right for this to work properly, not on the left. Unless, of course, Frazz weighs 40 pounds and Caulfield weighs 400 pounds. If that’s the case then I’ll shut my big fat nerd mouth.

On the Fastrack

Presumptuous of Wednesday Addams Elvira over here to think she single-handedly brought a company back to normalcy. I know people like her who think they are God’s gift to their place of business. NEWSFLASH: You’re replaceable! Everyone is replaceable!

Except me, of course. My company would fall apart without me.

Family Circus

One underrated aspect of Family Circus is Mommy or Daddy’s bemused expression when one of their kids spouts an inanity. It happens all the time. Put yourself in Mommy’s shoes: you’re just doing a routine chore around the house, and then your little pumpkin-headed loser says something with little-to-no context. How would you even respond to this?

It’s insufferable. Billy and Dolly are bad enough. Mommy and Daddy should have been a little more careful with their contraceptive practices.