CAPTAIN CALDEVWIN’S SECOND-IN-COMMAND + THEIR ARMY ESCORTS RAND AND HIS BUDDIES TO CAIRHIEN. SORRY, MY CAPS LOCK IS ON, LET ME JUST TURN THat off. There we go.

There’s a place called the Foregate, which is just outside of the city, where all the Aiel War refugees live. There are parades and celebrations for no reason other than it’s, like, a Tuesday. Rand likes the Foregate so much that he asks if there’s an inn there to stay at, but the soldiers are SHOCKED AT WHAT THEY HEAR, AND, OH NO, MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK AGAIN. Apparently, if Lord Rand wants to stay in some seedy part of town like the Foregate, everyone will be suspicious. Se, begrudgingly, he accepts a stay at an inn within the city: The Defender of the Dragonwall.

Rand thinks this inn smells like poop and he wants to return to the Foregate forthwith. Loial doesn’t want to go because he doesn’t want to bump into other Ogier (since he’s near the stedding where he was exiled). Hurin doesn’t want to go because the Foregate can be rather dangerous and he’s a pussy.

Down in the common room, Rand is presented with three sealed envelopes — invitations from noble Houses! Rand does not want to play the Game of Houses, so he declines ALL the invitations! Hurin tells him he needs to play the Game or else suspicions will arise, which Rand is like “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK AND I WILL CAPS LOCK ABOUT IT ALL DAMN DAY IF I HAVE TO”.

Rand takes his leave to the Foregate, and while wandering around he hears a voice emanating from a tavern that sounds familiar. He enters and is beside himself to see Thom “Gleeman Jones Smith-Jones” Merrilin regaling the clientele with gleeman tales like “The Stinking Thorns of Caladan” and “The Birds and the Bees”. Thom is also beside himself to see Rand.

They talk over eggnog. Thom didn’t die, as it turns out, because the Fade didn’t actually give two shits about Thom. It was after Rand and Mat. Oh well, we can laugh about it now! Anyway, meet the Wheel of Time’s favorite child molester at the inn he’s staying at — The Bunch of Grapes — and he’ll get all touchy-feely with you later.