February 14, 2003 – Great Western Forum, Inglewood, CA

Note: I do not have any download links to any shows. Don’t be a dingus. Refer to the Phish Spreadsheet for that.

February 14, 2003 – Great Western Forum, Inglewood, CA

Set One

My Sweet One — 2:41
HELLO? HELLO, I CAN’T HEAR YOU! ARE YOU GUYS SINGING?

The redneck rhumba of “My Sweet One” brings to mind good ol’ Jerry Garcia overdosing on crushed amphetamines, horse tranquilizers, and pregnancy pills. Yee-haw hoo-wee!

Cover of the Rolling Stone — 3:04
What the fuck is this “Achy Breaky Heart” shit? Never sing this again, please.

Oh wait, they never did sing this again. Thanks for listening to me.

Chalk Dust Torture — 9:54
Finally, something that doesn’t sound like teenage girls in the ’70s getting date-raped on the lawn at Grateful Dead shows. What it DOES sound like is another great ass “Chalk Dust Torture”! A tender, contemplative “Chalk Dust Torture”. The kind of torture that can only come from methodically-minded psychopaths. Phish doesn’t fit that bill at all! But Trey starts tearing this song a new asshole by about 6:45 and that’s good enough for me.

Fee — 10:54
Ohhhh, Feeeee. You’re trying live a life that’s completely free. Hey, “Fee” is the first song on the first album Junta! Isn’t that cool?! NO?!?! You’re correct!

A pleasant little ambient jam starts off at about five minutes in. Page all “plink plink plink” an’ shit. Then Trey goes “pluck pluck pluck”. I mean, that’s all I can really say. It’s kind of cool, actually. At some point it sounds like Kraftwerk or something (not true).

Taste — 11:08
“Fee” flows “seamlessly” into “Taste”, and by that I mean there are seams galore! But don’t let that stop you from enjoy this awesome “Taste” of things to come! Ha! Haha!

I like this song. I’ve probably mentioned that already dozens of times, but I do. I think Trey has a good voice here, and it’s a good song to showcase how complicated he can work the fret while singing. Zappa couldn’t even sing and play guitar at the same time. That guy was an idiot.

Bathtub Gin — 19:57
A 20-minute “Bathtub Gin”?! Have I died and gone to Reverse Hell?!

Around 9:20 it gets weird and psychedelic for literally eight seconds before reverting back to the funkiness that they had thus far established. Let’s see if something else happens…

I’m at 12:30 and not really…

I’m at 15:15 and not really…

I’m at 18:00 and not really…

Pretty dope version, huh?

Heavy Things — 6:17
Pretty standard version, if not a little bit on the speedy side. KEEP THAT TEMPO UP! I NEED TO BOB MY HEAD VIOLENTLY TO THE RHYTHMS!

Jam is short and sweet, like a pickle. Right? I have nothing much more to say about this one. Sorry about the pickle thing. That was weird.

Golgi Apparatus — 5:09
“Golgi Apparatus” is usually a set opener. Like, a Set One opener. Like, keep it away from my set closer, hosers.

Pretty tight here for the most part, although they keep this one slow. I blame Fish for falling asleep on his kit, drooling all over the hi-hat.

Set Two

Possum — 12:02
Yo, what’s with all the slowness! Meh, I guess “Possum” is allowed to be low and lazy, like my horrible malformed genitalia.

Typical “Possum” fare. You get some of that funky chunky southern country fried chicken groovin’, the kind that makes you think of a dead possum carcass on the side of the road. Stinking up the place. FUN FACT: “Possum” is the second-most played track in Phish’s live shows. Don’t quote me on that.

Walls of the Cave — 23:13
Oh, the suspense! One minute of tense Page-isms leads into that cloggin’ opener proper, and a a massive “Walls of the Cave” begins! Too bad Trey’s weak-ass guitar lead-ins sucked the fun out of the build-up. Then his weak-ass voice jumps in, taking what little wind I had left in my sails!

Luckily, this really picks up into something special after all that off-key singing with a pretty rockin’ Trey solo. After one more piece of the chorus, the jam begins at around 7:30. Getting weird right before 13:00. Even weirder at 15:30, like the aliens are landing, man. Drop some acid right now, boyeee, because you’ll want to be on Mars for the next 7 minutes!

And just like that, 23 minutes are up! I think I lost my pants…

Carini — 6:21
A seamless transition into “Carini”, who, as I recall, has a lumpy head. And due to the lumpiness of Carini’s head, I couldn’t eat my food.

Short and sweet. In and out. No jam. Just like my peanut butter sandwich.

All of These Dreams — 4:29
Time for something boring! Boo! I hate it when the Boys get all sentimental, especially in Phish 2.0 when I demand my 95-minute cocaine-fueled trippy nothingness. Moving on.

Limb by Limb — 9:06
YADA YADA YADA YADA JAM AT 3:30. Very pretty stuff, almost like you’re lazily swinging from trees limb by limb. Or some other lame analogy that your average lame Phish fan would use to describe the song while completely stoned out of their gourd.

Oh wait, it gets really strange and skirting the confines of Type II after a couple of minutes. Trey fuzzes out his guitar while Page plays the straight man. He’s not the straight man in my heart, though. Hubba hubba.

Just kidding. Page is ugly.

The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony — 1:49
No.

AC/DC Bag — 11:33
“AC/DC Bag”, while a great song, has always perplexed me. From what I can tell, the lyrics aren’t really about anything at all. At all! And is it referencing AC/DC the band? Or are we talking AC/DC in the literal electricity-related sense? And where does this “bag” come in? Ridiculous.

I think I’ve made my point here.

Prince Caspian — 9:02
Ugh. The most overplayed nothing track of all time. Give me a 20-minute “You Enjoy Myself” as a Set 2 closer instead. Then I wouldn’t have to CUM from my BALLS in ANGER.

Oh wait, that’s “Character Zero”. I get them mixed up all the time because OUCH MY BALLS.

I’ve really given up on this show, haven’t I?