QUICK SYNOPSIS

Homer causes an international incident after he joins the Naval reserves.

POINTLESS GUEST STAR(S)

Bob Denver as himself is very pointless, but at least he doesn’t knock on the Simpsons’ front door with the intention to save the day or anything. He just gets laughed at. It wasn’t a funny scene.

WHY THIS EPISODE SUCKS

“Simpson Tide” is one of those middling early Zombie Simpsons episodes that toe the line between real and surreal. Here we have Homer getting fired and starting a new job in the naval reserves. Homer getting a new job will become a frequent plot device as time goes on, so get used to it. Here, we get to observe a zany story that culminates into Homer becoming acting captain of a submarine and starting an international incident by treading into Russian waters. It sounds stupid because it is stupid. Most of this episode is stupid, and the jokes don’t really make up for it with the notable exception of Abe Simpson’s rambling defense for his son. (“But he is NOT a porn star!”) The entirety of the submarine sequence, as far as I’m concerned, as a complete shitshow of antics, outlandish storytelling, and dumb jokes. The Village People on top of the sub singing “In the Navy” with Smithers dancing out of nowhere? That’s the worst offender. God, I hate that joke.

Luckily, the B-plot stays rooted in reality. Milhouse gets a new earring and suddenly becomes the cool kid in school, prompting Bart to follow the lead. One of my favorite jokes in the episode involves Starbucks taking over the Springfield Mall (pretty prescient in 1998). “All right kid, but you better hurry up. In five minutes, this place is becoming a Starbucks.” I also enjoyed the meta “Do the Bartman” joke where Ralph rolls his eyes and rebukes Bart for being “so 1991”, as well as Milhouse accidentally pretending to be a vampire to continue wearing his earring (“But they’re also covered. Carry on.”)

I remember being underwhelmed with this episode when I was 10 years old. Apparently, some things don’t change.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

It was difficult for the writers to figure out how to get the captain off of the sub and they eventually decided to have him shot out of the torpedo tube, which in the DVD commentary, Al Jean says that Rod Steiger claimed that he really did get stuck in a torpedo tube once.
It sounds to me that the Simpsons writers required character actor Rod Steiger to write them out of a jam. Those Harvard and Yale degrees really went to waste!

In the original draft, Bart sneaked on board the submarine with Homer. They were trying to do it “for the comedy of it”, but could not get the draft to work, so it was cut.
Comedy first! Good story-writing second! Better enjoy even this while it lasts, because both comedy and story-writing will take a backseat to “sucking really, really hard at the Simpsons writing job” soon enough.

One of the Asian gang members in the Russian roulette game looks like Richard Sakai, a producer on the show.
Too bad it’ll never see the light of day, because I trust some dipshit named “Dan Greaney” to tell me how good a scene in the show would be. Oh look, I found a piece of the original script!

All Asians look the same, huh? Fucking racist shit right here.

FINAL GRADE
C