Welcome to Ghostliness & Nerfherders Presents: Star Wars: The High Republic (Vol. 1), Issue #10 – “Out of Balance, Out of Time”! In the previous installment, the Jedi have a master plan to task Keeve Trennis with infiltrating the Nihil as one of their own. Piece of cake, right? I wouldn’t do it for all the credits on Brentaal IV! But Keeve attempts to do it, and to prove that she is indeed one of them she will need to kill Myarga the Hutt!

The very same Myarga the Hutt who helped destroy the Drengir!

What a pickle!

(Kill the bitch)

Star Wars: The High Republic (Vol. 1), Issue #10 [December, 2021]
Written by: Cavan Scott
“Out of Balance, Out of Time”

I guess I should’ve known this earlier, but Myarga is held prisoner at the Nihil Warcloud Forge on Xais. Duh. And Keeve Trennis is finding it difficult to decide what to do!

“Unless…”

An idea sprouts in that stupid melon of hers. But it’s not like she has to do anything, because this one rabbit creature is already in the process of pushing over a large gas can full of the toxic chemical “nagnol”. It lands and explodes, spraying everyone with flaming hot gas and liquid! And no one dies or gets hurt, because why would they? “The entire planet could have gone up!” yells Zeetar, who is nice and safe in his Dr. Robotnik suit.

“Where did you find the Hutt?” Keeve asks as though nothing had happened.

“On the edge of wild space,” Zeetar responds.

“When? After Valo?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“It might be nothing, but…” And Keeve spins a yarn regarding hearing about a Hutt working with Drengir. Probably this asshole Myarga. “She might have all manner of Jedi secret rattling around the moldy excuse of a head,” Keeve nudges. “I say we find out…”

And then maybe kill Myarga later if she has nothing. Worth a shot, and the wait besides.

Meanwhile, the Ataraxia is in hyperspace filled with Jedi goons such as Avar Kriss, Sskeer, and some other weird looking aliens in brown robes. They’re using Ceret to track down Terec, who is with Keeve right now. Being a bond-twin has its perks, even if it is fuckin’ creepy. And Ceret also senses that Terec thinks that Keeve is “playing a dangerous game”, and I’m not talking about Suicide Parcheesi either. We’re talking about an involvement with Myarga the Hutt.

“Myarga?” says Kriss. “Now that is a concern. She is involved with the Nihil?”

“It is difficult to interpret…” responds Ceret. “But they are in danger. All of them.”

Well ain’t that a kick in the ol’ pants? Don’t worry, though. The Force will protect them! *snicker*

Except that I got a brain full of weird fetishes. I’ll give you a hint on one: Pudding.

Sskeer gets a holographic call from Dr. Gino’le, who I’ve never mentioned by name before but REST ASSURED that I’ve talked about him already many times. He needs to speak to Sskeer privately, but Sskeer ain’t got time for private conversations.

It’s not good news, though. “I’ve received the results from the tests we ran – and we know why you are losing your connection to the Force.”

Eek! We’ll get back to that horrible, horrible, bone-chilling news in a hot minute! Keeve and Terec are marching ahead of Zeetar trying to talk to each other privately, but Zeetar is like “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BOTH WHISPERING ABOUT” so that idea is over. Zeetar leads them to a bacta tank full of Myarga the Hutt. Although it’s not bacta in there, it’s unrefined nagnol. So be quick about getting the Jedi secrets out of her before her lungs burn and boil and crumble into dust!

“So, listen up slime pod,” says Keeve. “You wanna live, you gotta talk.”

Myarga speaks in squelchy Huttese, something about torturing Keeve before she’ll give anything up. But Keeve knows it’s all part of the ruse. “I hope,” she adds.

A technician reports to Zeetar that the gas valve is blocked. They don’t know it, but Terec is using the Force to cork the flow! Good work, weirdo. It’s too bad that Zeetar decided that Keeve already shot her wad, so they’re going to do things his way now. And that means 50,000 volts of electricity zapped right into her Hutt vagina. That’ll get her talking!

“What do you know about the Jedi?” Zeetar demands. And, much to Keeve’s horror, Myarga starts ratting her out. “You have Jedi in your midst,” she says betrayal-style. “You welcomed them with open arms. They have deceived you.”

Eep. It’s lightsaber time. Keeve, Terec, you two have fun. “You should surrender while you still can,” Keeve says rather meekly, I would say. “Surrender? Why?” Zeetar responds snidely. “Should I be scared? Are you really the best the Jedi could send?”

ZANG! Zeetar’s got an arm cannon and he’s not afraid to jerk off with it! I mean, use it. He’s not afraid to use it.

Well, Yoda’s busy. And Obi-Wan Kenobi? He wasn’t even born yet, idiot.

Fighting continues for a while in what I can only describe as four skippable pages, but then a twist happens that’s so twisty that even I didn’t see the twisty twist. Who approaches in her own Dr. Robotnik Transformers space suit but none other than Lourna Dee! Everyone is surprised but they all thought she was Hella Dead. Ceret gets to know this through Terec, and Kriss is beyond surprised!

So now what?

“If I was dead, could I do this?” she says matter-of-factly as she punches down on Terec’s ugly bald head with a TWAKK. “Or this?” she says as she zaps Myarga right between the eyes.

“That was a mistake,” Keeve says. I’m guessing her voice cracked because no one takes her seriously. “You really are adorable,” says Dee. Then a couple of ruffians in sunglasses approach Keeve with a mysterious box. After it’s opened, an incredible force field of some sort a) blocks the Force, and b) gives Keeve and Terec miserable headaches that even Aleve won’t alleviate, so to speak. Even Ceret feels the burn, and subsequently loses contact complete. Alone. All alone. Wahhhh.

“I will… we will… attempt to re-establish connection,” Ceret says as he quivers and moans. “AAAAARGH!” he then yelps. Then “It’s a lie… all of it. There is no balance. No peace…”

Oh no! Game of Thrones grayscale!

Final Thoughts

This isn’t the end of the story? Well Jesus Christ and slap me with a hassock! Looks like I’ve got to keep going then, don’t I?

Snarl.