It’s cold and dreary in Chicago now. The sun goes down at 4pm and everyone around here is going to be miserable and crabby until June — present company most definitely included. So, I’m going to drown out my sorrows with music. You know, for a change.

Frank Zappa

You’ve angered the Bert-and-Ernie-shirt-wearing conductor! Allegro! Always allegro, motherfuckers!

I write about Zappa a lot, I think. If I actually don’t, then maybe I just think about writing about Zappa a lot. He is, and always will be, my favorite musician of all time…even if I may have outgrew some of what I liked about him in the first place: mostly the sneery asshole “everything is a joke to ridicule” mentality. I still admire his work ethic, his lack of fear or self-doubt to make what he wanted to make (even if a lot of it didn’t land), and some of his social/political commentary. Most of it didn’t age very well, but what really has since the ’60s and ’70s?

When I was 18 years old, I went through a phase where Zappa was literally the only thing I listened to. This was still the pre-streaming days where you either bought physical copies of albums (which I did) or buy the digital versions on iTunes (which I refused). I spent a lot of money on Zappa albums. Money I probably should have saved for other things at the time, but who cares? I have no regrets! I know the ins and outs of his catalogue fairly intimately, and 16 years later I’m still pretty grateful that I spent all those hours listening to his 700 albums.

Around this time of year I get the urge to binge through a handful of Zappa albums again. Perhaps it’s the weather, perhaps this was just the time of year that my Zappa obsession was at its most feverish, but it’s a good way to revisit and lock-in on some of my late teenage years for a brief spell. Plus, posthumous albums have been released consistently since his death in 1993. There’s always something sorta new to dig into. By the end of the year, the Zappa Family Trust is releasing 50th anniversary super deluxe boxset edition of the 200 Motels album, comprising of six discs, that’s chock full of alternate/unused takes, bonus audio footage, basic tracks, and rehearsals.

I don’t even like the 200 Motels album that much! But I’m a sucker for this shit, so I’m looking forward to it anyway.

Dmitri Shostakovich

Russian composer Dmitri “Harry Potter” Shostakovich finally escaped from under the stairs…but at what cost? At what cost?

I played trumpet in various concert/symphonic classes in high school and college (plus marching band), and although I didn’t like playing trumpet that much — I didn’t like playing it all, actually — it fostered in me an innate appreciation for classical and jazz music.

HOWEVER, just because I appreciate classical music it doesn’t mean it’s always fun to listen to! Some of it is downright dull. I’m still trying to enjoy guys like Franz Schubert, Felix Mendelssohn, even Bach. Bleh, I say! But there’s one guy who always manages to TURN ME ON, as they say, and that’s Shostakovich. He’s in the sweet spot: not old enough to be completely dusty and boring, not recent enough to be mired in non-melodic avant-garde contemporary classical sensibilities. Like other Russian composers, there’s a hard edge to his sound that reminds me of the tension that I enjoy out of my rock music. Unlike his other Russian contemporaries — Prokofiev, Stravinsky, Rachmaninoff — Shostakovich never left the country. He just stayed during the Soviet uprising, being treated like shit for most of his life by the government. It’s fascinating, and you can tell he channelled this sadness and anger into his compositions. It’s like, fucking escape, man. Rachmaninoff went to New York City, for God’s sake. Rachmaninoff bought a new car every two years!

Shostakovich’s body of work is impressive and satisfying. I particularly enjoy his String Quartet’s Nos. 3 and 8, his Symphony No. 9, and both his Piano Concertos. But he’s pretty consistent. Don’t sleep on Shostakovich! He may have died in 1975, but he still slaps! He’ll make a resurgence here in the 2020s, you heard it here first!

Other Quick Thoughts

This is what a heavy metal band who names themselves “Franklin Zoo” looks like. I think the lead singer is going to try to thwart Superman.

-One month of 2021 left. Still a million new albums I haven’t listened to yet. Publications are gonna start dropping their lists, and most of them will just have the same 15 albums rearranged in a slightly different order near the top! I’m expecting to have mine done at the very end of December, maybe even the very beginning of January. And then the cycle starts anew! My favorite time of year…if only Christmas didn’t get in the way of all the festivities. Stupid holiday…

-This time of year I also tend to binge on all the new metal releases I can squeeze in before I never listen to any of them ever again! It’s tradition, after all. Some good ones to laud before they start collecting dust in 2022 are releases by 1914, Sunless, Ars Magna Umbrae, First Fragment, The Silver, Replicant, and Franklin Zoo. I guarantee that I’ll forget any of these were even bands in a few months, but thems the breaks!

-I hate math rock so much. Well, certain kinds of math rock. The kinds of math rock that emerged from the emo side of rock and punk music is what I’m talking about. I recognize that there’s a certain unavoidable emotional sterility when you base your band’s entire sound around technicality and gymnastics with time-signatures, but bands like This Town Needs Guns and American Football overcompensate by being cloyingly precious and wimpy. And I can stand wimpy sometimes, but bands like these…they’re, like, aggressively wimpy! Makes my blood boil! Grr!

That’s it for this edition of…*squints*…”AudioBiography”?? That’s a stupid name, who greenlit that?