Happy Three-Days-After-American-Thanksgiving! I got plump upon turkey and potatoes to be sure, and now I’m enjoying my last day of freedom before I return to the torturous drudgery of an average work day at the salt mines. I’m the one that mines the pepper, which is much harder to find.

At least I have the Sunday funnies to take my mind off of things for a spell. I hope you enjoy tepid family entertainment as much as I do not.

Pardon My Planet

If it wasn’t obvious enough who the intended demographic is for this section of the newspaper, here’s a Steve Miller Band reference. A song from almost 50 years ago. This will almost certain get the usual clientele frothing with nostalgic joy in the comments section, which I don’t read anymore because I can’t take anymore jubilations from Betsy out of the heartland of America. Or Fred talking about his lawn tools.

I don’t think Maurice over here should be worrying about what people are or are not calling him right now. He should be worrying about where his spacecraft is, because I don’t see it within the 15° angle viewpoint I have, which means it must have fallen into a crater and exploded into a billion chunks of shrapnel. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened if there was a little less midnight tokin’.

Judge Parker

Now this is funny! Judge Parker brings the laughs today as Sam and Gloria, two characters I had to look up, survey the body count! Hey, let’s not call the police, they may want to us to talk about our involvement with the cartel, and that wouldn’t be jake!

I wonder what it would be like to actually follow a strip like Judge Parker and experience the continuity in real time. One strip, one day at a time. There is a non-zero chance that someone is heavily invested in this, and are pissing their pants at the thought that these two faceless characters will find themselves in hot water that they won’t be able to escape from. Already preparing the dedication on the shrine in their closet.

Beetle Bailey

STAR EXPLOSION BOMB KNIFE SPIRAL GRAVE SKUNK SKULL W/ CROSSBONES LIGHTNING THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS

This must be a reference to 145 years ago when Sarge was yelling at Beetle for his gross incompetence way more than he does these days. Classic Cursing. A “golden oldie”. A real “blast from the past”. So retro.