It’s Sunday, and you know what that means. No, my colon cleanse is scheduled for Wednesday, and that’s a private matter thank you very much. No, it’s time to dish out another small helping of shitty comic strips. Hold onto your butts, because I sure will come Wednesday.

Let’s get this show on the road.

Curtis

Yeah? Yeah? You think it’s funny, Curtis? You think it’s funny, Barry? You think it’s funny that your old man fainted at the sight of a vagina opening up to the size of a basketball, expelling blood and mysterious white fluid while his suffering wife pushed your stupid melon heads out of her body?

Actually, that is pretty funny now that I say it out loud! Carry on.

Rex Morgan M.D.

I don’t think I have it in me to enjoy reading a wholly uninteresting conversation between two men named Truck and Mud, but I am left hanging at what exactly Mud did at Lou’s bar. He made a mess, that’s for sure. A mess that couldn’t even be smoothed over with an apology. That could only mean one thing: Mud stood up on the bar, took a big shit right in front of paying customers, then proceeded to rub the shit all over this face GG Allin-style. Then when the shit started flinging, well, that made Lou a little ticked off it did.

Mud looks like the kind of guy who would rub shit all over his face, too. Dead sober. If I were Lou I’d smack him with a flyswatter.

Arlo and Janis

I’ve mentioned in the past how Arlo and Janis has been around since 1985 and has yet to feature a coherent punchline, or even an accidentally funny happenstance. Today they bring it to new heights by not only featuring nothing funny, but by giving us all a dark, inside look on the horrible banality of a long marriage. We’re through the looking glass people, and there’s no way back.