Ms. Marvel (Vol. 3), Issue #19 – “Last Days (Part 4)”

* Part 4 of 4 of the Last Days storyline *

Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Ms. Marvel (Vol. 3), Issue #19 – “Last Days (Part 4)”! In the previous installment, Ms. Marvel saves her brother from Kamran and the Mist. He has super-powers now, like psychic force field super-powers. They’re temporary, though, because of plot holes.

Captain Marvel leaves and Ms. Marvel returns to the school as Kamala to check out how things are going. Long story short, everyone is going to die from planet-blunt-force-trauma and there’s nothing that can be done.

Kamala also tells her mother that she is Ms. Marvel. Her mother already knows, which widens Kamala’s eyes like dinner plates.

This is not only the final issue of the storyline, but it’s the final issue of the series! It’s been a good run, and I’ll read more Ms. Marvel in the near future. I assure you! Be assured, goddamnit!

Ms. Marvel (Vol. 3), Issue #19 [December, 2015]
Written by: G. Willow Wilson
“Last Days (Part 4)”

Ms. Marvel doesn’t think she heard her Ammi correctly. She knows? Is it because she does her laundry and keeps finding all these shirts with the lightning bolt down the front?

“I’ve known for several months now, Kamala-jaanu,” she says, serious as a string of heart attacks and mini-strokes. She started to suspect it when Kamala said “I’M GONNA GO BE MS. MARVEL” before booking it out of the house. And then every time Ammi saw er on TV, her daughter wouldn’t be home until morning.

“You know I was sneaking out?! But I was so quiet!”

Ammi shushes her and tells her that Abu doesn’t know this because he’s dumb and fat and is as detail-oriented as a sea slug. Kamala begs Ammi to not be mad, and she’s not mad. She swears it! She’s just… you know… she has a teenager and shit. Better this than breaking things or doing drugs or fucking Bruno in front of Aamir. “If the worst thing you do is sneak out to help suffering people – then I thank God for having raised a righteous child.”

Kamala looks glum and guilty, but she gets another hug and another gushing of pride. And then a SLAM! of a door announces Abu’s arrival. “That boy is going to give me a heart attack!” he bellows. “First he drops his engineering major without telling me, then he refuses to get a job, and now this!” This stupid mofo is going to pray his problems away, and Abu can’t be more upset about the waste of time. He’s going to whip him with a cane is what he’s going to do. “Ya Allah, what did I do to deserve such an exasperating child?”

Kamala tells her dad to cork it because Aamir didn’t do anything on purpose (except jerk off). But, argh, she can’t tell them what happened and why! Oh well, let’s all put this behind us and have a tall glass of halal Ovaltine! And–

The kids basically mixed dirt and water, and it’s delicious.

“Bitcoin for your thoughts?” Bruno appears behind Kamala, who was lost in thought. “It’s been quiet for a while,” he says. People are scared and angry and supplies are scarce. “Apparently, all the government resources are going to New York – we’re getting screwed as usual.”

How much longer can everyone hang on? Well, mopey Debbie Downer tells Bruno that they might not have to wait long anyway. Captain Marvel said everything is fucked up beyond all repair (that’s “FUBAR” for all you military nerds!) and nothing can stop the giant planet from plowing into the other giant planet.

“Bruno… if you knew this was your last day on Earth, what would you do differently?”

“Nothing. I would do nothing differently.”

Then he awkwardly grabs her hand and tells her that he’d be wherever she is for as long as he could. Kamala stares down and realizes that he’s been telling her this for a long time now.

But she chickens out and tells him that she’s got to check up on her parents in the gym byyyeeeeee. He stands there confused and probably sad as shit.

“I try not to look over my shoulder. I tell myself, Bruno can wait. I still have a job to do.”

Abu likes his tea dry and dusty!

Kamala’s barely-friend Zoe thinks that zombies are going to attack Jersey City. “Kamala…” she says. “If we’re all going to be battling the undead together, there are certain things I need to say first.” UH OH! ANOTHER PROFESSION OF LOVE WITHIN TWO MINUTES! STAY BACK! STAY BACK! “I’m sorry.”

Zoe apologizes for saying so many stupid things to Kamala in the past. Ignorant, stupid things. Stuff about curry. Getting locked up on weekends. “The thing is – I was jealous.”

Kamala can’t believe what she’s hearing. She raises her nostril in a sneer. “What?! You were jealous of me?” It’s because Zoe thinks everyone likes Kamala and everyone hates her, that’s the business of the matter at hand. Kamala is confused. Zoe is the rich, popular one. Kamala has Level 60 druids. Whatever. They shake hands. All is forgiven. By the way, your friend Nakia is looking for you. She’s mad at Zoe and it’s probably for incredibly racist reasons! Let’s go see.

Nakia is sitting in a “non-denominational non-judgmental prayer area”, which is so woke that my Republican sphincter is belching fire in rage. She seems mad at Kamala too, but this time it’s not for incredibly racist reasons. It’s because Kamala has been too busy to talk to her for like 12 straight issues.

“Oh God. You’re mad at me. Can we just skip the guilt trip part? I’m really exhausted–”

“No problem, Kamala. We’ll do whatever is convenient for you, like we always do.”

Eep. Kamala doesn’t tell Nakia anything anymore, and she’s supposed to be her best friend. She heard seventh-hand that Kamala is dating Kamran now? Like, gross! Gag me with a spoon and so forth!

And it’s not even one of the good mosque uncles. It’s one of those creepy mosque uncles who isn’t your uncle but he wants you to call him “uncle”…

Anyway, Nakia is salty and she doesn’t know why she and Kamala aren’t BFFs anymore, as the kids say (G. Willow Wilson would know what kids say, being 64 years old). They patch things up in about two panels because that’s how STRONG and RESILIANT their friendship is! They hug it out. Issue #19 has lots of pre-apocalypse hugging.

If there’s even an apocalypse. It sounds like there’s going to be even less of a party than even that.

Jock Itch has an annoucement! He yells so loudly that everyone goes like “huh”. Bruno’s brother holds a boombox over his head like he’s John Cusack. All like “we’re gonna party the way Jersey City parties!” and then they all stick their heads in the toilet.

Or they dance. They all dance in the gym.

“You can almost hear the collective sigh. Like we needed to be given permission to laugh again. Like even if things are profoundly not okay… at least we’re not okay together. And even if we don’t always get along…” Kamala looks toward her stick-in-the-mud brother, who betrays a small smile, “…we’re still connected by something you can’t break.”

A sad Bruno slips out of the gym unnoticed. OR WAS HE. Kamala follows knowing that she only has one chance to make this right…

She finds Bruno on the roof looking at the red sky. She asks if he’s ok. He’s ok enough. Ol’ Bruno is solid as a rock. A good head on his shoulders.

Roll call! Everyone’s here!

“It’s nice up here,” Kamala says, inching closer.

“Totally pleasant for a zombie apocalypse,” Bruno responds, still staring straight ahead.

Kamala admits that she’s been avoiding certain things lately. “I’ve been taking you for granted since this whole Ms. Marvel thing started, and that’s not okay. Especially because – Because you’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. And – one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

Uh oh!

Bruno needs to say something before he wusses out, since it’s the end of the world and everything. “I love you, Kamala Khan.”

Uh oh!

“I — I love you too, Bruno.”

Oh no!

“So much,” she continues, “that it’s like a light is always on even when I’m fumbling around in the dark.”

Oh God! Oh no!

“…But I can’t.”

Whew!

It’s not even about her religion. It ain’t even about her parents. This whole Ms. Marvel thing has filled up her life completely. “I’m not ready to be anything else, to anyone else. I need to give this everything I’ve got.” She apologizes.

He understands. The exchange words of care and love and all sorts of other “I wanna fuck at least once please even though this comic series is PG” banter.

“Look — if we survive this – I want you to be happy. And if that means being happy without me, then – then that’s how it’s gotta be.” She presses her face sadly against his chest. His buff Bruno chest.

He’s hopeful. She’s hopeful. The planet continues hurtling down toward the Earth.

Kamala monologues. “It’s not like I imagined it would be. The end of the world. It doesn’t feel like nothing. Standing here with my best friend, it feels like everything. Everything and more.”

The light gets very white…