Today’s comics have a theme! No, it’s not Thanksgiving. There were surprisingly few strips today featuring good ol’ turkey. Sure, there was Baby Blues and Garfield, and maybe Herb made a nice meal for Jamaal. But no, fuck all that. Today’s theme is “comics that start with ‘M'”. Anticlimactic and unexciting! I bring the goods, baby.

Marvin

Let’s start with a hilarious Marvin! Cute and cuddly action hero Liam Neeson, shown here with a nose the size of an aircraft carrier, sits on a bench in Marvin’s bumfuck town soaking in the sights and sounds of Anytown’s diverse wildlife until Marvin’s grandfather interrupts him with various inanities. And for the folks at home who may spend 21 hours a day growing soybeans and wouldn’t have time to watch talkies, Liam Neeson reminds everyone that he’s “the movie star”. That way you remember to laugh!

I didn’t even notice Marvin sitting there the first time I read this. He could fit right up Liam Neeson’s nose, he could. That would have been a funnier punchline, but alas. We can’t have everything, can we?

Moose & Molly

First of all, Moose is only carrying nine boxes. Second of all, if such a salesman tried to force his cartons of cigarettes on me, I’d box his ears to kingdom come! Moose is such a fucking pushover, man. If I were Molly I’d kick that zero to the curb!

I wonder what streaming service Moose’s duck TV show is on. I need to binge watch something today.

Mary Worth

Ha, look out Toby. Do you know what the Mexican cartel does to women who keep illegally smuggled parrots? I saw a video once where a man was stabbing the shit out of a young drugged woman in the face and throat after she presumably kept an illegal smuggled parrot! Only half that sentence is true, and you’ve awakened in me memories that will give me nightmares again for days. Thanks a lot.