Thy Catafalque, Foxing, and Crumb

Still over a month to go and list season is already upon us, with Album of the Year features already dropped for publications like Rough Trade and Decibel, among a few others.

Personally, I look forward to the lists by The Quietus, BrooklynVegan, Kerrang!, Pitchfork, Loud and Quiet, Louder Than War, Stereogum, Anthony Fantano, The Line of Best Fit, and Gorilla vs. Bear. And many others I’m sure.

RIP Tiny Mix Tapes.


Thy Catafalque – Vadak
(June 25, 2021)

Thy Catafalque - Vadak

A lot of black metal acts seem to pivot quickly to something entirely different than black metal. You never see it the other way around. It’s not like Adele or Taylor Swift are going to suddenly start shrieking through lo-fi static, recording all their tracks in an isolated cabin in northern Norway. So why do some black metal bands throw a big “fuck this” and branch out? Were their early ambitions purely performative?

I’m just rambling, as usual. Thy Catafalque is a Hungarian outfit that is considered “avant-garde metal” simply because they started playing black metal, and now they mostly play other things. I think that genre appellation a misnomer, because albums like Vadak are as accessible as it gets for something this niche. Think progressive metal in the vein of Porcupine Tree, only less moody! There’s also lots, LOTS, of traditional metal and speed metal riffage. Also, plenty of minor key stuff that would please the average, say, Iron Maiden fan who might accidentally be listening to this! Honest! Actually, a lot of this sounds like Buckethead at his most ferociously focused. What the average metal fan won’t like is the atmospheric electronica. This is where the Porcupine Tree comparison is really apt, because most of the tracks are awash in the space-y new age stylings of mid-late ’70s Tangerine Dream (aka Steven Wilson’s other wet dream band after Pink Floyd). I love it! I wish more metal bands did that kind of trance krautrock; it usually melds well.

Vadak is a real melting pot of styles. Track 2, “Köszöntsd a hajnalt”, has some, I don’t know, synth accordion? I’m heavily reminded of the really folky dance-folk metal like Eluveitie where they have lutes and wooden flutes and cavort around like Legend of Zelda fairies. “Gömböc” sounds like a guest spot by Venetian Snares, with crazy breakbeats and pulsing electronics (plus Middle-Eastern guitar flourishes). “A kupolaváros titka” has a motherfucking Kenny G smooth sax passage! There’s not much in the way of vocals throughout, but what you get is either typical black metal guttural shrieking, typical epic doom metal clean male vocals, or soft and folky spoken word female vocals.

If you’re looking mainly for a metal album, don’t listen to this, you’ll hate it. If you like progressive/experimental rock, and you’re not afraid to venture into the highly technical or extreme territory, this is really good shit. Check out the other Thy Catafalque albums too, they’re very consistent.

Early Verdict:


Foxing – Draw Down the Moon
(August 6, 2021)

Foxing - Draw Down the Moon

Foxing is a band of unassuming, beardy white guys from St. Louis. As far as what I’ve heard from them, which isn’t much, they play unassuming, beardy white guy indie rock music. The lead singer is a beardy, white guy who sometimes sounds like the guy from TV on the Radio, sometimes the guy from Vampire Weekend, sometimes the guy from Muse, and sometimes that dead guy Elliott Smith. Your beardy, white guy friend from high school will like this album a lot.

What we have here is bare-bones indie rock structured like jaunty pop songs that crescendo into powerful, hooky choruses that repeat enough to really needle into your brain. At least the first half of Draw Down the Moon is like that. The second half shifts gears into wistful, folky sadcore emo ballads. It’s all very by the book, and it’s all stuff you already heard 15 years ago.

That being said, this album is fine. Fine is the highest compliment I’m willing to give it. The power pop hooks do the job, especially on “Bialystok” which contains the album’s strongest melody (“Oh, without you/I feel so homesick everywhere I go!“). The melodrama of stuff like “At Least We Found the Floor” doesn’t land for me, though, catchy as it may be. The wistful acoustic strumming and doleful, hopeless lyrics sound like suburbanites trying to write a sad, bluesy tune from the college dorm before poli-sci class. “Oh God, he’s everywhere I go/He’s in my head like a metronome/Clicking inside my brain/So I can’t find tempo without a little bit of pain“, yeah, give me a break, nerds.

The zeitgeist of 2005 would welcome Draw Down the Moon with open arms. If I had just discovered this album now, and it was actually FROM 2005, I’d like it much, much more in that context. In 2021, the album feels like a complete self-unaware anachronism. Like, who is this album for? Aging 30-somethings who are falling in the trap of “today’s music isn’t as good as the music in my day”?

Early Verdict:


Crumb – Ice Melt
(April 30, 2021)

Crumb - Ice Melt

Crumb is a NYC-based indie dream pop band that, to my ears, sounds like a cross between Beach House and Yo La Tengo. I guess, in a nutshell, that means it has better melodies than Beach House, but worse melodies than Yo La Tengo! In that sense, it does its job. I’m not a Beach House fan, so that’s an amazing start already.

I don’t remember how Crumb got on my radar. To me, they exist in a world of their own right now, independent from associated acts, similar contemporaries, or even widespread publication recognition. The overall sound of Ice Melt is calm, pastoral and sunshiny, but deeply melancholy. There are occasional psychedelic electronic effects, or an occasional scratchy guitar, but it mainly sticks with undistorted indie pop. The band has a drummer, but I find his real contribution dubious. This sounds too crisp and mechanical, like a drum machine. “Jonathan Gilad” is the name of your drum machine, Crumb. Own up to it.

This music is very agreeable, treading dangerously close to easy-listening. I’m reminded of the less abrasive ’90s Elephant 6 collective groups like the Apples in Stereo or Beulah, while the slower-paced lounge haziness brings to mind Stereolab or Broadcast. I don’t think Crumb is as good as any of those bands for the melodies alone. They’re not strong enough to keep me coming back for more. Perhaps it’s not the “point” of the band, considering the laconic vocal delivery and hopelessly sad subject matter, but the small handful of really good bits leaves me wanting. “Trophy” is the best song, Ice Melt‘s single most memorable melody and the first one in the track list where a deliciously groovy bassline is busted out. Then there’s the end of “Tunnel (All That You Had)”, which presents a minor-key coda that repeats an off-putting and spiraling riff, the most intense minute of the album that briefly brings you out of the dream and into the nightmare. I wish that went on longer. Or that there was more of that particular sound.

I can’t complain too hard though. The band has potential; I won’t sleep on Crumb when they put out their third album.

Early Verdict:

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3 – “Knightmoves”

* Part 3 of 8 of the Born to Kill storyline *

Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3 – “Knightmoves”! In the previous installment, Alfred is very concerned about Bruce’s fathering because he’s noticing little Damian is crushing bats to death with his bare hands, among other things. I personally think this kid is rad as hell.

Batman takes Robin to intercept a gun-running operation, leaving the gun-runners to hang for the police to snatch up. However, the guy who killed Russian Batman kills these gun-runners instead before the cops show up. We find out that this guy is named Morgan, and he’s quite unhappy with the way Bruce has been promoting his Batman brand around the world. I guess there’s some sort of mission that Morgan thinks Bruce is failing at, and he gives him a warning to cut it out! But we all know Bruce Wayne, he will never cut it out.

I hope Damian throws a TV dinner at Bruce’s head while they watch American Ninja Warrior.


Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3 [January, 2012]
Written by: Peter J. Tomasi
“Knightmoves”

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3

Bruce Wayne brought the dog home! “Seems the dane wants your attention, Damian” Alfred tells him, hoping to elicit a positive response from the troubled boy. “He’s been a constant nuisance since he arrived,” our favorite grumpy 10-year-old grumpily grumbles back. They’re both playing chess. Alfred tells Damian that this particular chess set has been in the Wayne family for over 200 years, and Damian quips that it’s almost as old as Alfred! I laughed at that! I think this kid is all right!

Bruce Wayne is scouring the perimeter of the manor, obviously a little spooked by the encounter with Morgan as he was picking up the dog. He’s perched like a fucking gargoyle on top of an actual gargoyle, garbed up like Batman with a ratty looking cape. Alfred and Damian’s chess game is an obvious metaphor. I’ve seen HBO’s The Wire! Although, that was about drug dealing, and this is just about watching your own back. “In this game you always need to be in four places at once–” says Alfred. Damian looks absolutely miserable in every panel. He’s cocky as hell about the game, but then Alfred puts the kid in checkmate and he loses his mind about it. I laughed at that too!

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3

Go to hell, Bobby Fischer! We can’t all take 40 credits of Chess Lab at Butler University!

Finished with his surveillance, Bruce enters the room and puts the chess piece back on the board. He says he has outfitted all the gargoyles with human detection radar and other paranoia-induced implements. Damian is looking forward to finally tagging along on patrol after being SHOVED OUT for two nights in a row, but Bruce is SHOVING HIM OUT again for a third night. Damian asks him what the FUCK has gotten him so shaken up, and Bruce lets him know that he still needs to get a full picture of the threat. Until then, Opie is staying home!

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3

Alfred/Bruce custody battle coming up soon. I’ll keep you all posted.

Bruce tells Damian to shut the fuck up and give the dog a name. Damian doesn’t even want a dog in the first place! He wants to patrol! He wants to beat up some bad guys! Bang bang shoot-em-up cops and robbers! Yeehaw!! The dog, Bruce explains, is a reward for showing a commendable amount of self-control. “Keep at it” he says to the boy, and departs.

Damian is all “screw THIS” and begins to don his Robin clothes. Alfred, alarmed, instructs Damian to honor his father’s wishes and stay home. Damian is all “screw THAT” and gets on his big-boy bike. He notices the bug that Alfred placed on the bike, flicks it off, tells him not to give up his day job, and speeds off. We see that there’s also a bug placed on Robin’s cape. “Don’t worry, Damian, I won’t” Alfred says, with a stern John Cleese face.

Out on the mean streets of Gotham City, a mugging is in process! I’m sure, at any given moment in Gotham City, 900 muggings are in process! But this particular mugging is the one that will be addressed. The male individual of the wealthy couple has just emptied his bank account at the ATM, but the two thugs aren’t satisfied! They want to be violent too! But then Robin swoops in to save the day! Before one of the thugs can even say a second sentence to ridicule the 10-year-old, Robin smashes the guy’s cellphone into his fucking face.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3

Durability, my ass! Steve Jobs is rolling in his grave right now.

The other guy, Robin kicks his knife-holding arm causing him to stab himself in the shoulder pretty badly. Robin rips the knife out of his arm while Thug #1 shoots about 40 bullets into his crime buddy. Robin throws the knife right through Thug #1’s shootin’ wrist. Then he starts pummelling the everloving shit out of his face. “I’m sure you didn’t leave your hole tonight thinking you’d get your ass kicked by a ten-year-old!” he yells as he brutally ruins the guy with his fists. This is all actually pretty graphic and disturbing! Little Robin is nuttier than pecan pie!

Morgan shows up to the scene dressed in his alter-ego outfit. I don’t think I know his villain name yet. “Finish him, Damian.” he instructs. Robin is taken aback and figures out right away that THIS is the guy that Bruce didn’t want Robin bumping into, especially not alone. Oops! Morgan observes, with an air of respect, that Robin has punched this guy completely braindead. Morgan delivers a finishing blow to the guy’s neck.

Robin is outraged: “THAT’S COLD-BLOODED MURDER!” he screams at him, as if he didn’t just supply his own version of a completely unbalanced punishment. “You’ve opened my eyes,” says Morgan, “given me a glimpse of Gotham’s future once I burn Batman Incorporated to the ground.” Morgan knocks Robin down on his back and then starts to imply that he’d like him to work for him, but then Batman shows up to ruin everything! Possibly because Alfred bugged Robin, Batman was able to find out where the little twerp was at any given moment! Which means it took him too long to show up! Maybe Batman stopped for ice cream.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #3

Scream for me, Bruce. Scream all night long.

Batman and Morgan, they both go at each other, they stomp and smash and bash and crash and slash and bust and burn! They take turns kicking each others’ asses for a few pages, but then Morgan turns on some sort of sound machine from his palms that pushes Batman into traffic! He gets hit by a car!

Finally, Batman and Robin wake up disoriented and strapped to an abandoned car in an abandoned drive-in theater. Morgan is going to show them a movie!

Final Thoughts

Classic storyline here.

“I just want you to love me, Dad!”
“No.”
“My angsty disposition is the direct result of your shoddy parenting!”
“And?”
“And I’m going to start being deliberately stubborn and insubordinate! Time to go out alone and get myself in a pickle.”
“Son, look at the pickle you got yourself in. A pickle I now have to help you get out of.”
“I’m sorry for getting into this pickle.”
“I am also sorry you got into this pickle.”
“Pickle.”
“Pickle.”

Classic.

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 – “Devil’s Despair”

* Part 5 of 8 of the Guardian Devil storyline *

Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 (Legacy Issue #385) – “Devil’s Despair”! In the previous installment, Daredevil goes nuts for a few minutes and jumps off a roof with a baby. Then he comes to his senses and swing-lands at a church where he hangs out with a nun who is his biological mother, I guess. There’s a lot of faith-questioning. His nun mother slaps him. Karen Page shows up wanting to give the baby to Macabes, but now Murdock’s thinking clearly about the whole baby situation and doesn’t trust Macabes one fucking bit! Then he kind of calls her a junkie slut and she runs out of the church.

And Murdock is right not to trust Macabes, because he’s the big shadowy Boss Man that’s been chasing this baby down for four issues now. He hires Bullseye to help him acquire the baby.

And that’s about it! You’re caught up!


Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 (Legacy Issue #385) [March, 1999]
Written by: Kevin Smith
“Devil’s Despair”

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

MONOLOGUE TIME! When Murdock was a child, his father attempted to keep the little bastard in line by scaring him with an urban legend about an old man in a village who practiced black magic. As Murdock got older he became more and more skeptical, eventually deciding that the mystic was a figment of his dad’s imagination.

He now realizes his dad was telling the truth, because Murdock is dealing with one of these types of mystics in person right now! And it’s quite unsettling to him. The seer is shrouded in some lavish robe, hovering cross-legged about seven feet in the air, and he’s got a big beam of orange light emanating from the middle of his forehead. Yawn! I see that shit in the city everyday!

The seer is examining a cross that Daredevil received from somebody, I don’t even remember at this point. The seer claims that “THE EYE OF AGAMOTTO WOULD HAVE REVEALED ANY SUPERNATURAL ELEMENTS THIS TRINKET MIGHT’VE BEEN EXPOSED TO” and insists that there’s nothing to sense about the object. He does, however, tell Daredevil that the cross is laced with some sort of strong hallucinogenic drug. It only didn’t affect the seer because he was able to “cast a small spell that purged it out of his system and into an alternate dimension within his cell structure”, which sounds like a lot of showboating to me! Obviously, the point is that Daredevil has been drugged, which explains some of his odd behavior.

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

Welcome to Plot Hole Junction! You’re stuck here forever now.

In the end, the seer cannot determine definitively if the baby is or isn’t the antichrist. “My mystic abilities as of late have been rather — undependable” he tells Daredevil, unhelpfully. This fuels Daredevil’s already overactive paranoia: “He’s in on it.” After the seer suggests bringing the child in for further analysis, Daredevil freaks out and decides that the seer is putting spells on him to cloud his thinking. Just before he whacks the seer’s melon with his Daredevil Whackin’ Stick, the seer performs a spell to remove the drug from Daredevil’s body. It appears that this is a super special kind of drug that only activates if someone suggests that the baby is innocent! How devilishly clever! I suppose! Man I wish I could remember where this stupid drug cross came from. Oh well!

The first thing Daredevil wants to do is find Black Widow and apologize to her for his drug-fueled psychoses, but he needs to track down who might be responsible for this hallucinogen. He asks the seer what it will take to find out, like, on Earth, instead of the astral plane. The seer tells him that there is a way, but it will require a strong constitution and obeying a lot of guidelines. Daredevil agrees. The seer makes preparations to invoke a demon (that sounds like more astral plane shenanigans to me!), and tells Daredevil to meet him back here again in a day.

Elsewhere, Karen Page is having quite a glazed-over, catatonic rest at a park bench, soaking in the autumn vibes. She’s doing a lot of thinking. A homeless man lying down on the bench next to her is using a newspaper as a blanket; the headline reads “FRIEND OF ACCUSED QUITS! Star legal gun Matt Murdock quits firm after partner’s arrest on murder charge”. Karen is thinking about who she has been to her friends and family over the course of her life in another patented wordy Kevin Smith monologue. Among other things, besides a junkie and a porn star and a slut, she’s been a straight-A student, a cheerleader, a law office secretary, and a radio DJ. Too many things! Let’s back it off to just radio DJ and junkie. That sounds more manageable to me.

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

Kevin Smith probably says this kind of thing to a mirror every morning.

She’s going over all the betrayal that she finds herself guilty of with respect to Matt “Rupert” Murdock. And she’s sad! Maybe she’s going to kill herself!

Her monologue sure goes on for a long-ass time. Basically, she recognizes that Murdock is flailing and needs her strength, but first she needs to find that strength within herself to help! Because, you know, that’s all a woman is to a man, right? Bleh. With a newfound pep in her step, she runs out of the park in pursuit of Murdock. We catch one more glimpse of the newspaper, showing a spread with a photo of a man who looks like Macabes with the subheadline “One time ‘Creature Feature King’ John Curtain found murdered in Hollywood home”. Curious.

Aha, in the next scene I find out that the mystic who Daredevil visited is none other than Dr. Stephen Strange! This is me learning, at this very moment, that Dr. Strange is a sorcerer/mystic. I just assumed, him being played by Benedict Cummerbund, that he was like a Sherlock Holmes-type detective! I mean, I didn’t REALLY assume that, but I always thought it was funny anyway. I’m going to keep thinking that! Anywho, Strange and Daredevil are conjuring up a demon! Daredevil is not to speak to the demon, we don’t want any mystical beings from the depths of hell to be accidentally set free within the earthly plane of reality, now do we? Mmm-hmm. Don’t look at the demon either, that might provoke it as well. These demons certainly are obnoxious, aren’t they? Can you feed them peanuts? Will that anger them too?

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

This Mephisto cat has been through quite a few apocalypses in his time already. Boring. Yawn. Snore.

The demon summoned is Mephisto, who Daredevil apparently had a run-in with in the past. Strange binds Mephisto in a force-field that prevents him from seeing them, but after Strange speaks to him he recognizes his voice instantly. “Strange. I recognize your braying.” Mephisto says, rather lazily I might add.

He asks Strange why the fuck he’s putting down the blinds on him this time. “Within the binding circle, you may ask of me no questions and provide only answers, Beast.” Strange responds performatively. Mephisto catches on and casually comments that this is all a show for a guest in the room, so he plays along. I like that there’s semi-genial camaraderie here! Very amusing.

“What is it that disturbs you, Stephen?” Mephisto asks rather politely. Strange tells him that there may be an antichrist on the loose! Can he confirm, please? Mephisto then says a lot of words about the bible, I dunno, I barely read it! But, he bluntly states that the bible implies the antichrist will be an entity more powerful than a sniveling, snot-nosed, poopy-pantsed infant.

Strange asks another question, but Mephisto is starting to get rather impatient, and hints that he knows that Daredevil is there. Once this is noticed, Strange attempts to close the connection while Mephisto mocks Daredevil not only for his “devilling around”, but also for his lack of knowledge on who is truly fucking with him. Mephisto’s only further hint is, essentially, “this person is probably letting his mother down”. And then he disappears with a comic book “POP” as the portal closes.

Daredevil heads back to the church, which has been completely ravaged. Many people lie dead in the pews. Sister Maggie, Daredevil’s mother, seems to be barely hanging on herself. A voice starts taunting Daredevil, but with the echoey acoustics of the church he cannot pinpoint the source. Finally, the assailant leaps into view. “You know what every good catcher needs? A PITCHER?!” OK, uh, well, that really undermined everything, Bullseye, you idiot. Yes, it’s Bullseye. And he starts whipping some throwing stars at our “fearless” “hero”. So our “brave” “champion” throws some of his Daredevil Sticks right back at him. One of the sound effects is “FAP”, which is funny.

Bullseye claims that he’s tired of the feud between the two of them. “You’re the only guy who’s ever come close to getting on my nerves.” Bullseyes says as he takes out his Bullseye Gun and shoots a Bullseye Bullet right through Daredevil’s shoulder. “Now we’re even.”

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

He didn’t even see it coming! HA! LOL!

They fight a bit. Bullseye tells him to just give him the baby and he’ll walk away. “I ain’t getting paid to kill you…” he continues, “…but I’m gonna do you for free. Just for laughs.”

As they continue to fight and talk, it’s revealed that Karen Page is in the church, alive and hiding under a pew. Sister Maggie and Karen whisper to each other about the baby. She apparently gets up and strolls right out of there unnoticed, because within the next few panels she comes out through a doorway carrying the baby in her arms. “Let him go and I’ll give you the baby.” she tells Bullseye, boldly. Daredevil tries to object, but Bullseye smacks him in his already busted-up face with his own Daredevil Stick and tells him to shut the fuck up. Bullseye agrees to leave Daredevil and take the child.

Bullseye gets about four steps out the room before he discovers that Karen gave him one of the church cherub doll things. He bonks her on the head with it and demands the real deal.

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

“THOCK” and “UUUUH” go together like peas and carrots.

The real deal, as it were, starts crying in Sister Maggie’s arms, betraying its location like the dumb baby that it is! Bullseye grabs the baby from her, and is about to whack her with the stick when Karen pops up with Bullseye’s gun. “Put…the baby…down!” she yells. But then Bullseye taunts her, saying that he’s not dumb enough to discard a loaded weapon. There was only one bullet in the thing.

As he leaves with the baby, Bullseye whips Daredevil’s stick back through the air, impaling Karen right through the chest and knocking her into Daredevil.

Daredevil (Vol. 2), Issue #5 [#385]

Come on, baby! We’ll get through this! Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you…oh.

Final Thoughts

*cue happy West Wing credits music* TOOT TOOT! SUSPENSE! Daredevil’s world is getting all sorts of fucked every which way, ain’t it! Man oh man, the poor little devil.

OK, let’s take stock: Bullseye took the baby, which may or may not really be the antichrist. But, Macabes wants this child one way or another anyway. We don’t have to worry about HIV+ Karen anymore, but Murdock himself might have contracted the virus so we’ll have to see what becomes of that.

That’s about the size of it. Plenty of story left, my friends.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2 – “Bad Blood”

* Part 2 of 8 of the Born to Kill storyline *

Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2 – “Bad Blood”! In the previous installment, Robin is Damian Wayne, the pissant little 10-year-old son of Bruce. Not to be confused with Damon Wayans, who was Maj. Payne and not D. Wayne. It is implied that Bruce hasn’t been playing daddy much lately and now he has to kind of pick up where he left off with this little shithead? Lots of tense moments. Little Damian needs a hug or two and maybe some Adderall.

In Moscow, some mysterious villain has caught the Russian version of Batman and we see the victim get dipped in acid in order to “be erased”. The villain plans on moving on to Bruce Wayne next.

Oh boy! Superheroes! On to Issue #2!


Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2 [December, 2011]
Written by: Peter J. Tomasi
“Bad Blood”

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2

In the Batcave, Bruce is talking to Alfred in what may or may not be a flashback. “What the hell did Talia do to this kid to turn him into such a…killing machine…” Bruce asks out loud. Oooooooh, who’s Talia? Is he Damian’s GIIIIIIIIIIRRRLLFRIEND?! Bruce says that Damian’s broken and it’s his job to fix him, but Alfred reminds him that he’s a father, not a mechanic. Is that why the Batmobile broke its wheel and the Joker got away? Maybe!

There’s a montage of Damian doing ninja warrior shit at a very young age. Seems like Talia was prepping little Damian to be on American Gladiators. Bruce recognizes that he may be no better than Talia, pulling him into all this action nonsense, but he’s going to try to nurture some soft sensitivity into the kid. Alfred gives Bruce a little “there, there” and assures him that he’s been good at being a moral guidance to all the various Robins over the years. Yuck! Yeah right! “Guidance”. Gross! Bruce admits that for the first time ever, he’s afraid of dying and he’s afraid of what might become of Damian if he’s not around. That’s some cliché dad stuff, Bruce! A little trite, don’t you think? Elevate yourself!

Bruce enter’s Damian’s chambers, who is at a drafting table obviously plotting his father’s murder. Bruce asks if he’s been a good boy getting all his homework done, because tonight they have a weapons shipment to take down. LOL! Good parenting.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2

I could have been in here jerking it in an unholy manner, Father.

The shipment truck is noting that there are no cops on their tail. As they’re heading to the docks, Batman and Robin swoop in and blast a hole into the rear door of the truck. They also start kicking some ass! Action, baby, that really gets my juices flowing!

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2

Put away the sack full of nickels, son, you little rascal you.

The bad guys are all bound together and hanging upside-down from a rope tied to a lamppost. Batman and Robin collect the guns from the truck. Batman comments approvingly at Robin’s restraint. “Refusing to pound these felons with the excessive force you wanted to is commendable.” Batman says to him. “I WANTED TO FUCK THEM UP REAL BAD, THOUGH, FATHER, SIR.” says Robin, but Batman teaches him a lesson! Just because you wanted to doesn’t mean you had to! We can all learn from this!

*beats up Peter Tomasi to a bloody pulp*

Batman and Robin leave the bad guys hanging. Police sirens are heard in the background, so they all try to get their wits together and escape. However, the Big Bad that killed Russian Batman pops into the scene to kill these hanging chads so I guess that’s that!

Back at the Batcave, Bruce Wayne is sitting at his Star Trek command console while wearing his Star Trek uniform with a “W” insignia. Albert is concerned that Damian is overexerting himself, but Bruce is like “go fuck yourself”. Alfred asks if Bruce told Damian that he was proud of him, and Bruce says he did, but Alfred says saying “your actions are commendable” sucks ass and he should be ashamed of himself! I’m glad Alfie is projecting his own daddy issues on Bruce, this is really going to make for some compelling storytelling.

Bruce heads to Damian’s training room, where the boy had successfully fucked up 1.1 million dollars worth of training equipment and, uh, fighting robots. Bruce tells him simply “I’m not a trillionaire…uh, but yeah, heh, good work. Get some sleep” and walks away. In the cave corridor, Damian snatches a bat out of midair, crushes it to death like a little psychopath, and tosses its carcass down into the cave depths. Alfred observes this in secret. Probably while jacking off.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2

Yeesh. Bruce better watch his nuts.

The next day, Bruce is buying a dog at the kennel for some reason when he bumps into a guy named Morgan who I’m sure, being a seasoned dyed-in-the-wool DC Comics fan, I should know! But I don’t. He looks like Morpheus. This appears to be a less-than-genial encounter, as Bruce tells Morgan that not only should he be dead, but he knows he was the one who murdered the hanging-lamppost bad dudes! Morgan, in turn, lays his cards on the table about what he hates about his Batmanning. Bruce now accuses him of killing Ravil (Russian Batman, yes), and Morgan explains that his “pushing of the Batman brand” across international borders is despicable! Heinous! Contemptible! Detestable! Odious! Thesaurus.com! And he intends to stop it. “You’ve distorted the clarity of our mission, Bruce” Morgan says to him while they stand so close to each other that they could lovingly touch tongues. They argue about morals, virtue signalling at each other like a couple of Reddit posters.

Batman and Robin (Vol. 2), Issue #2

Hooray! Danger candy!

Morgan says that he’s not here today to attack him, but to warn him. He presses a button on his Men in Black neuralyzer-type device, which causes a nearby barrel to shoot out candy. The dog is startled.

Final Thoughts

So this particular comic series is going to be loaded up with Peter Tomasi’s unresolved father issues, and I’ve begrudgingly accepted that. I’m still confused about, like, if this series is canon. Is Bruce always raising a son, did he pop out of nowhere? Does he have this son in the other concurrent Batfamily series? Is Damian jealous of Dick Grayson, who seems slightly more well-adjusted than Damian and also gets to hang around the Batcave whenever he wants?

That’s about all I got on this so far. See you fools next time.

Atmosphere, the War on Drugs, and audiobooks

Only a handful of weeks left! Time to cram in what I can! Today I have releases from Atmosphere, the War on Drugs, and audiobooks! READ!


Atmosphere – WORD?
(October 8, 2021)

Atmosphere - WORD?

I can’t believe I’ve never actually listened to Atmosphere before. They’ve been on my radar long before I even cared about hip-hop, since they’re associated with the “alternative” or “underground” scene, and god knows those particular words spoke to me at a young age.

I’m not a stranger to their Rhymesayers label, being very well-acquainted with Brother Ali and Eyedea/Abilities. There’s a unique production style to the music that comes out of the Minneapolis area that you can pinpoint right away. It’s not limited to genre, either. You can hear it in Hüsker Dü, the Replacements, even some of Prince’s stuff. Similar to Detroit, it’s this cold and sparse Midwestern grittiness. Atmosphere has a good name, because atmosphere is the first thing I think of. It sounds like Slug and Ant are wearing big, puffy coats and winter beanies. You can probably see Slug’s breath while he raps.

And, also a trademark of Rhymesayers, Atmosphere attempts to seize whatever existential or identity crisis needling them at the moment with bared emotional openness. In the case of WORD?, it’s the crisis of getting old. Tracks like “Something” (“I’m closing in on fifty and my fashion is flagrant/I’m officially too old for these pants to be sagging“) and “Clocked” (“Time’s killing us, time’s killing us/We killing time and time’s killing us“) appear to simultaneously express regret and acceptance while providing some, dare I say, upbeat rhythms? Reminds me of Aesop Rock’s trajectory as an aging hip-hop icon as well. I like it when rappers get old and start spitting rhymes about AARP newsletters and Muselix.

My only nagging gripe is that the main beat from “Distances” is lifted from the chorus of Busdriver’s “Pompous Posies! Your Party’s No Fun” from 2007’s RoadKillOvercoat. Is this just a case of both artists sampling from the same original source material? It’s hard to find this kind of shit online. I’m too tuned in to this kind of thing, perhaps when it comes to hip-hop I have to let it go.

I like this though! Finally, an excuse to dip into the rest of Atmosphere’s large catalog.

Early Verdict:


The War on Drugs – I Don’t Live Here Anymore
(October 29, 2021)

The War on Drugs - I Don't Live Here Anymore

I like the War on Drugs, but I don’t love the War on Drugs. I found both 2014’s Lost in the Dream and 2017’s A Deeper Understanding grossly overrated, nothing more than lush pastiches of Americana that were heavily drawn from, if not completely ripped off from, the likes of Dire Straits and Bruce Springsteen. Just this very down-to-Earth, warm, affable roots rock. A little of it is totally amazing, much of it is merely enjoyable, some of it even a pretty dull. I get it, I just never saw the big deal.

And maybe it’s not a big deal. But after spending the better part of two weeks revisiting and devouring Adam Granduciel’s five-album War on Drugs discography, I think he may have touched on something special here with I Don’t Live Here Anymore. I can’t put my finger on it, other than that all the musical ideas are presented more succinctly and confidently? There’s nothing on this new album that I haven’t heard already as I listen as far back as Wagonwheel Blues. Those layered pianos and lovely guitars and folksy vocals and hooky arpeggios and descending thirds were always there before, but now they’re there…on purpose? They’re there with some force. I find it more gripping and addictive! And, as I weave through the five albums, I come back to this one more often. It feels more familiar than the rest even know I’ve only had mere days to absorb the music.

I think what War on Drugs does best for me, and even more so with this new album, is give me elements to look forward to when I revisit to a song. On “Harmonia’s Dream”, it’s those blaring synth notes that don’t show up until the bridge. On “Victim”, it’s that abrasive psychedelic guitar. On the title track, it’s the female backing vocals from guest pop group Lucius.

Almost all the songs have something, and between certain songs that particular something might be a similar something, but one thing is for certain: having something to look forward to within an album as you’re listening to the album is the hallmark of an instant classic! And I have a lot more to say (which is a good sign, too), but that’s enough for now.

Early Verdict:


audiobooks – Astro Tough
(October 1, 2021)

audiobooks - Astro Tough

I became acquainted with this duo when their debut cracked the top ten in the Quietus’ 2018 Albums of the Year list. Like much of what the Quietus loves, I found their debut Now! (in a minute) intriguing after one listen, pleasant after another listen, and then thin and forgettable from listen #3 and beyond. I’m always frustrated by this. What are the Quietus always hearing in their obscure list of top albums every year that I simply do not?

Well, audiobooks (lowercase, because why not?) is still on my radar, and when Astro Tough dropped at the beginning of October I was motivated to give them another fair shot. It’s still the two of them doing the same thing: David Wrench handling the music, Evangeline Ling handling the lyrics and the talking and the singing. Think of them as Dry Cleaning‘s stranger cousin. Both groups employ weaving surreal narratives around catchy punk-influenced beats, but where Dry Cleaning’s musical tapestry draws from post-punk, grunge, alt-rock, and noise rock, audiobooks draws from dance-punk, club, techno, and trance. In either case, it’s a winning formula, and this time around I find an audiobooks album increasingly more enjoyable with each listen instead of the other way around.

The Dry Cleaning connection is immediately obvious with the opening track “The Doll”, where Ling speaks a deadpan story about a little girl who lost her doll, and then the ensuing absurd 911 call that follows, which culminates into a repetition of “So hard/So hard/So hard/…/To let go“. But the metaphor isn’t even the good part. Right after the little girl cries because her doll is gone, Ling says “I had just finished digesting dinner in a Thai restaurant/I was there on my own, comfort eating“, completely exasperated that she’s even involved. Even while empathizing.

But the real fun in Astro Tough is that not every song is like “The Doll”. “LaLaLa It’s the Good Life” is the most obnoxious dance song in recorded history, complete with the worst autotuned chorus ever attempted, and it’s glorious. “Blue Tits” digs up Mark E. Smith’s decomposing bones and slowly shakes, rattles, and rolls them. The part where Ling squeals “But they want your big ass in their faaaaaace!” reminds of The Fall during “New Face in Hell” when Smith yells “New face in hell” so loud that the speakers can’t contain it? Yeah, that. Sure, they fall back on some tricks that work, but the end result is so damn bizarre that the charm itself should keep you going for a few listens before you even realize how good the actual music is.

So, what’s my point? This is the Tom Writes About Stuff “Band to Watch Out For in 20xx”, that’s what! This album took the formula of their debut and improved upon it in every way! Astro Tough will show up somewhere on the Quietus year-end list or I’ll eat my hat with ketchup.

Early Verdict: