The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Tagline:
A ghoulish tale with wicked humor & stunning animation.

Wide Release Date:
October 29, 1993

Directed by:
Henry Selick
Screenplay by:
Caroline Thompson
Produced by:
Tim Burton, Denise Di Novi

Starring:
Chris Sarandon
Catherine O’Hara
William Hickey
Glenn Shadix
Paul Reubens
Ken Page
Ed Ivory

The Nightmare Before Christmas

PREGAME THOUGHTS

This movie was released when I was six years old, and I didn’t want to see it at all because I was a pissy little baby about anything that could have possibly been adjacent to a realm that contained semblances of anything even remotely scary. Also, my mom watched it and hated it, and this was at an age when I actually listened to my mom’s opinions instead of nowadays when she says things like “I’m pro-life but I don’t think the government should ban abortions” or “Trump is spry, he got hit by a bullet and walked away.”

‘Tis the season, though, and my 7-year-old really wants to watch this. I’ll even invite my 4-year-old, why not? Early trauma builds character.

THE 550(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Halloween Town is a dreary place filled with monsters, ghoulies, and nefarious Republicans. He Who Presides over the Town is Jack Skellington (speaking voice: Chris Sarandon; singing voice: Danny Elfman), the Pumpkin King! He is in charge of organizing the yearly Halloween celebration, but he’s getting fucking sick of it year after year after year. He even sings about it in front of the moon!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

♫♪♪ It’s a dead man’s party! Who could ask for more? ♫♪♪ ♫♪♪

The next morning, Jack wanders aimlessly around the woods and comes across a set of trees with holiday symbols painted on them — an area of the woods he has never come across before. After falling into Christmas Town and delighting in the merriment of the all the Christmas cheer that he has never experienced before, Jack becomes obsessed and wishes to bring a touch of Christmas back to Halloween Town.

Upon his return, Jack gathers up the denizens of Halloween Town and tries to teach them the ways of Christmas, but much to Jack’s chagrin they all incorporate Halloween-themed ideas into his descriptions of Christmas ideals. With furious frustration, Jack holes himself up in his house and uses SCIENCE to study Christmas in order to understand it enough to get his point across. After many unsuccessful days, Jack decides to pivot to working on improving Christmas! It won’t go well.

Jack gathers up the denizens of Halloween Town again and announces that they will take over Christmas duties this year. He assigns various tasks the the befuddled residents, such as singing carols and wrapping presents. However, local female Frankenstein Sally (Catherine O’Hara) sees visions of Jack’s failure. Jack doesn’t heed the warnings and instead assigns Sally the task of making him a Santa suit!

He also tasks a trio of ne’er-do-wells named Lock (Paul Reubens), Shock (Catherine O’Hara), and Barrel (Danny Elfman) with kidnapping Santa (Ed Ivory) and keeping him safe while Jack performs his Christmas shenanigans. The trio succeeds in the kidnapping, but they take him to Oogie Boogie (Ken Page), a bogeyman for unclear reasons. That happens later! For now, Jack tells Santa that he’ll be taking over being Santa and that he shouldn’t worry his pretty little head about anything. Sally tries to stop Jack from carrying out his plan to no avail. Then she attempts to rescue Santa from Oogie Boogie, but she gets captured herself as well.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Hey! I want one!

Jack plays Santa and accidentally scares the shit out of people in the real world with his creepy shrunken head gifts. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, I always say. The authorities advise the populace to lock down for their protection and Jack is shot down from his sleigh by the military. He is presumed dead by Halloween Town, but he is very much alive! And he got his fill of Christmas and enjoyed his time indulging in the festivities, but now it’s time to make up for all his wrongdoings. So he rescues Santa and Sally from Oogie Boogie by unraveling him and revealing the mess of bugs within. Santa is like “thanks for nothing, asshole” and leaves to save Christmas himself. He replaces all of Jack’s shitty gifts with real ones. Halloween Town rejoices at Jack’s non-dead return.

Santa feels bad for calling Jack a cunt and brings snow to Halloween Town, much to Jack and the rest of the town’s delight! Jack and Sally love each other for some reason, too. The end.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

General Movie Thoughts

I’m not at all a fan of stop-motion animation, so that’s strike one for me. I just find it tough to watch for superficial reasons, plus I can’t stop thinking about all the work it must take to create such a project and I lose myself in an anxious fit. NEVERTHELESS, I sat through the whole thing with my family and found it so-so. Jack Skellington is clearly the best part of the movie, mostly because he’s the only character with an actual personality. I didn’t expect much anyway in the plot department — Halloween Guy becomes obsessed with Christmas and becomes Christmas Guy, but doesn’t do it right — but, god, is it just me or this movie incredibly slow? Afterward I was surprised that the movie was a mere 76 minutes, because a lot of it just dragged. It takes forever for Jack to actually get to Christmas Town, and after that it takes forever for Jack to start doing Christmas things. Meanwhile, an awful and unnecessary love plot is shoehorned in that just kind of sort of happens and doesn’t really matter in the story. Like, this is supposed to be a movie about the Pumpkin King of Fuck Mountain becoming enamored by Christmas. Why does he have to get his bone on, too? Pun intended.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

C’mon, baby. Give me that sexy Glasgow smile!

I’m also not a fan of musicals, so that’s strike two for me. I can tolerate your average Disney movie, and more often than not I’m not bothered by the music, but every song (save for “This Is Halloween”) is flat, boring, and not very catchy. I didn’t find them particularly fun to listen to, not even “What’s This?”, the defining song. I’m an enormous Danny Elfman fan, having been obsessed with Oingo Boingo in high school. I’m used to the weirder aspects of his vocals where his voice sounds like a rubber ball bouncing around the room. Elfman’s singing in The Nightmare Before Christmas is lackluster and uninteresting! Danny Elfman has one of the greatest voices in off-kilter pop music and there’s no soul to this! Arrrrghh, frustrating!

I’m also not a fan of just how ugly the settings and characters are, so that’s strike three for me. This movie sure isn’t for me, as it turns out. I usually don’t have a problem with such an aesthetic, but it must be the combination of stop-motion animation and the overall dingy brownness of the scenery. Even Christmas Town seemed desolate and sad. This was obviously an artistic decision and they succeeded fabulously. A veritable feast of creepiness and oddball antics! But I think I’d rather watch Corpse Bride and I barely even want to watch that.

95% of you will disagree with me, and I’d like to invite you all to suck it.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Kris Kringle has lost some weight.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

Tim Burton has said the original poem was inspired after seeing Halloween merchandise display in a store being taken down and replaced by a Christmas display. The juxtaposition of ghouls and goblins with Santa and his reindeer sparked his imagination.
Since then, he has made the same movie 45 more times.

It is stated in “The Making of…” book that the most difficult shot to film in the entire movie is the shot in which Jack is reaching for the doorknob to Christmasland. Viewers can see the perfect surround reflection of the forest around Jack in the background.
Oooooooh, aaaaahhhhh, wowwwwww, coooooooool. If only every movie had a majestic shot of someone reaching for a doorknob where the full effects of the camerawork or the illustrations are completely unnoticed by everybody in the audience.

Danny Elfman found writing Nightmare’s 10 songs as “one of the easiest jobs I’ve ever had. I had a lot in common with Jack Skellington.”
I don’t have room for all the f’s it would take to write out the long “pfffffft” I had in mind.

It took a group of around 100 people three years to complete this movie. For one second of film, up to 12 stop-motion moves had to be made.
See, this is the kind of shit that makes me exhausted even watching stop-motion animation. I just imagine all the tedious work that goes into it. I read once that the first episode of South Park took a whole staff three months of non-stop work to create. No wonder The Nightmare Before Christmas barely cracks 80 minutes, they were all probably like “fuck this” and flipped the table over, signifying the end of production.

In the soundtrack, an epilogue poem is included that implies that Jack had “4 or 5 skeleton children” several years after the film. The mother of said children is unknown.
How do we know it was just one mother? Skellington gets around, is all I’m saying.

During Jack’s first visit to Christmas Town in the song “What’s This?” we see him unintentionally smashing a snowflake, destroying a snowman and scaring a little sleeping elf – a taste of the unwitting destruction that Jack’s curiosity in Christmas will bring.
Good bit of trivia! Looks like someone watched the movie and interpreted scenes correctly!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Zero the Ghost Dog. Best character by a long shot.

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

In the end, this IS a movie for children. My 7-year-old loved it, my 4-year-old liked it, and I think this is exactly the kind of movie that a young, budding goth would eat the fuck up. On those merits, it wins! But I wasn’t a fan. Don’t listen to me, though. Listen to Roger Ebert! He gave the movie three-and-a-half stars and called it a feast for the imagination! He’s dead now, though, so your mileage may vary on his current opinions of the movie.


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The Dragon Reborn (Book 3) – Chapter 22: “The Price of the Ring”

The Wheel of Time - Book 3 - The Dragon Reborn

I’m going to try to keep this as short and sweet as possible since it’s a fairly long chapter. Egwene, running on fumes, is taken to the Accepted trials forthwith. Elaida is particularly grumpy because it’s late, and the Amyrlin is out of line for wanting to do this RIGHT NOW, but them’s the breaks. The ter’angreal arches are waiting. Egwene still has her paperwork and her ter’angreal ring in her arms, but she hadn’t realized until after she accepted the trials that she should have squirreled them away somewhere. BUT, because she would get kicked out of the Tower for declining at that point, she places her clothes on top of the pile and hopes no one in the room rifles through the paperwork.

Alanna Sedai notices a weird hum, and she only brings it up because it has never happened before in her history of participating in the Accepted trials. The hum leaves as quickly as it came, and they begin the trials.

THE WAY THINGS WERE: Egwene is married to Rand and they have a baby. They’re still in Emond’s Field. Rand speaks news of a war going on with the Seanchan and complains of headaches. One particular headache causes him to collapse, and while he screams and cries in pain, the arch opens up and Egwene walks through it sobbing herself.

THE WAY THINGS ARE: Egwene is in Caemlyn, or what’s left of it. The city is ruined, her dress is torn, and Darkfriends are swarming the streets. She runs through the rubble, steps around an Aes Sedai’s dead body, and finds Rand stuck under a fallen beam. The whole room would collapse if it were moved. Rand laughs and says he could move the whole beam and the ceiling if he damn well wanted to. If the Darkfriends catch him, though, they’ll turn him to the Shadow. And he can’t have that. So Rand begs Egwene to kill him, and she cannot even dream of such an action. He begs, she cries, the arch opens up and Egwene walks through

When Sheriam tries to goad Egwene through the third arch, Egwene asks if Darkfriends — Dreadlords — are actually able to turn people to the Shadow. After a time, Sheriam hisses that it’s not unheard of but many do not know the information. One who channels is susceptible to this if thirteen Dreadlords weaves their Power through thirteen Myrddraal. Egwene is like “oh yeah, uh, Liandrin left with twelve Darkfriends”, and Sheriam tells her to cork it and continue with the trial.

THE WAY THINGS WILL BE: Egwene is the Amyrlin Seat of the Green Ajah. Things don’t seem right. It’s like she simultaneously knows she’s Head Honcho and just a novice who has never taken the Three Oaths. Her Keeper, Beldeine, says “they” will be growing impatient, and then leads Egwene to the Hall of the Tower. There, Elaida — recognized as Egwene’s rival — stands up and asks to bring in Rand. He has declared himself the Dragon Reborn, so let’s gentle the fuck out of him and then grab some lunch. Egwene ekes out a very minor beginning of a refusal, to which Elaida is all like TRAITOR! Beldeine knocks Egwene over the head, and then Egwene wakes up naked in a room with thirteen Dreadlords and thirteen Myrddrall. Egwene screams and starts channeling, burning all the Myrddraal to crisps. She runs away and finds Beldeine, who insists that she was stilled and extorted to betray Egwene. Rand is now getting gentled at the Traitor’s Court. Egwene “can help more than they think” because she has never held an Oath Rod. No swearing Oaths, and yet here she is.

Egwene hears voices outside an arch that sound like frantic Aes Sedai trying to hold the doorway open. Egwene goes through the arch at the last second, sad to be betraying Rand once again.


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Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957 – “Path of Doom (Part 1)”

* Part 1 of 6 of the Path of Doom storyline *

Welcome to Loneliness & Cheeseburgers Presents: Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957 – “Path of Doom (Part 1)”!

Action Comics, you say? Aren’t there about a thousand of those! Yes! And more! And I’m going to jump into Issue #957, right at the DC Rebirth reboot. I heard it’s good, and it better be. That fucking DC Rebirth Superman has sucked my shit so far, so I’m looking for a palate cleanser.

It’s Superman, though, and almost every Superman story I’ve read sucks large dongs. Let’s see if we can break the streak.

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957 [August, 2016]
Written by: Dan Jurgens
“Path of Doom (Part 1)”

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957

“Perimeter secured. No one – and I mean no one — fires until I have the word.”

ACTION! The Metropolis SWAT Team, or rather the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit, are staked outside of a building while Jimmy “Archie Andrews” Olsen has his $14 camera. Four gunmen are holding a company hostage, demanding eggrolls and unlimited access to Disney+. “Whatever their agenda is…” says Maggie Sawyer, Captain of the MSCU, “…we have to let it play out.”

Inside, the employees are on their knees huddled on the floor. The gunmen are like “DON’T MOVE, BITCHES! WE’RE WEARING SKI MASKS!” A man asks what they want, and when one tells him to stop talking (bitch), another is like “Durrrr, what do we want exactly?”

Someone cuts the power. 20 seconds until the generator kicks in… but that doesn’t matter anymore. SUPERMAN IS BACK FROM THE DEAD, BABY, AND HE’S READY TO LIGHT UP SOME ARSE! POW POW! BOOM! CRACK! POW! YIP YIP! SMASH! POW! ARSE!

Outside, the MSCU and Olsen hear the screams of Superman simply pulverizing the gunmen into thick paste. Not the screams of Superman, I mean. The screams of the pasty gunmen.

But it’s not Superman. It’s someone very unlike Superman…

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957

What’s up, Mr. Clean? Looks like you got a new day job!

Lex Luthor saved the day? What is this shit, now? From what I understand about Lex Luthor, he does not like to save days. I suppose we’ll see how this all came to be in the first place…

…But for now, let’s visit Upstate. I like to think that Metropolis is in Guam, so we’re in Upstate Guam of course. Clark Kent, Lois, and his sonny boy Jon are unloading boxes into their brand spankin’ new house! Nice digs, fam. Some real cozy happenings. Jon asks his Pops how many different planets he’s been to and how many different aliens he’s met. Clark tells his son to cork it.

Jon is tired of unpacking. Can’t Clark do this in about five seconds? Lois bends down and tells her petulant son that Superman’s powers are for special situations only. Domestic convenience? Nein! It’s for protecting people, not alphabetizing your Xbox games. Get a grip.

Jon had already hooked up the TV because, well, priorities. The family sees a heroic Lex Luthor wearing the ‘S’ shield.

“Superman, our brave and noble protector, is dead,” Luthor says heroically. “He died, in service to us all,” he says like a hero. “A city so majestic and grand as Metropolis cannot go unprotected,” he says like a male version of a heroine. “So I pledge to you… here and now… that as long as I am here… I, Lex Luthor, will be your Superman… and Metropolis will be safe under my protection.”

What a tool.

In the midst of this, Clark storms upstairs to the master bedroom (where little Jon has already jerked off in) and pulls open a dresser drawer. He pulls out an artifact that looks like a glass shard, zaps it with eyeball lasers, and suddenly his beard is gone! Now that’s useful!

I’m trying to get on their page here, but it’s tough. Clark knows that Lex Luthor is like Asshole Prime, but Lois says the Lex Luthor on their world is. This world might be different. Clark even investigated this Luthor with remote anal probes and found nothing alarming except a malignant tumor. “Our work needs to stay secret for Jon’s sake,” Lois adds.

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957

Not every world needs a fucking Superman, homie. Get over yourself.

But no, Clark will be the Superman that this world needs. Screw Luthor, that guy smells like two-week-old bisque. Clark dons the Superman outfit and flies to Metropolis immediately.

Captain Maggie Sawyer and one of her lowly officers discuss what the gunmen’s motive was. It’s weird. There was no motive. They didn’t even know why the hell they were there in the first place! Curious. “All they know is that they were supposed to draw attention to the main lobby,” the officer says. They searched the upstairs and found a giant vault that was impossibly open and impossibly empty. “A diversion,” surmises Sawyer. “Which means this isn’t over.”

“Indeed not, Captain. It has barely begun.”

OooOoOoooOOOOoo, chills! Did you feel that? CHILLS! And all the while Lex Luthor continues to blah blah blah and talk himself up about being a very competent Super-type Man for the people. “It’s time for Metropolis to turn to one of its own. A man who understands what the city really needs. As a tribute, I’ll wear his cape and symbol in hopes it will inspire us all. Rest assured in the knowledge that you are safe. Each and every one of you.”

*man dies of heart attack during speech*

Luthor has said enough. Too much, even. Because the REAL Superman shows up! Ha! How do you like them apples, you sad little bald man? “You may sound like him… look like him…” Luthor says after regaining composure. “But he’s dead.”

Olson’s calling up Perry “Bunk Moreland” White to get a reporter to the scene as soon as ASAP possible.

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957

I shaved my beard for this so that you know that I’m serious!

“You’re an imposter,” Lex continues. “A trick of some kind. Sent by whom, I wonder?”

“No trick,” Superman retorts.

“You seem older. More confident. But you aren’t him. You can’t be Superman.”

And this goes on. Meanwhile, Lois and Jon are watching this on TV with the latter going “WHY IS DAD SHOWING HIMSELF IN PUBLIC, I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!” and the former going “Errrr…”

At the Daily Planet, an unknown off-panel individual volunteers to go report on the Luthor/Superman showdown. White is amazed, but we don’t get to see why yet! Maybe it’s TOM BROKAW?!

Superman wants Luthor to take that fucking ‘S’ off his person. And the cape, too, while you’re at it. Luthor refuses with a dark smirk. So Superman reaches out to rip the ‘S’ off himself, but it comes equipped with a Luthor-brand automated defense system! It shoots a brilliant blue light at Superman, rendering him with floaties in his eyes and not much more. So Superman punches Luthor, sending him flying against a car. He almost chuckles to himself. “Same old Luthor…” he thinks as if he were the kid in Problem Child. Luthor tells the public to get to safety and this imposter is dangerous.

ACTION! Luthor guns down Superman with his bullet fists, which of course doesn’t work. It never works. Jon and Lois watch on TV with rapt attention, with Lois informing her dear son that fighting is never the first option even though Superman pretty much chose it as his first option.

The mysterious reporter shows up to the scene, causing Jimmy Olsen to gibber.

Lex Luthor keeps asking who Superman is.

Superman keeps saying “I’m Superman.”

Lex Luthor keeps saying that Superman died.

Superman keeps saying “Wrong-o.”

The fighting is pretty destructive. Buildings get destroyed. People cower. Cakes get left out in the rain.

Action Comics (Vol. 1), Issue #957

Yeah? And I’m Edward James Lou Diamond Olmos Phillips.

The mysterious reporter turns out to be Clark Kent, which is crazy because Clark Kent is supposed to be Superman and Superman can’t be in two places at once! Or can he?? I’ll have to look into that later.

And now that Clark Kent has shown up, Luthor is double skeptical. Even Lois and Jon at home are like “buh?”

Then some more stuff happens. Someone somewhere says that a coffin is open.

Lex Luthor calls Clark Kent an impostor.

Clark Kent says he’s Clark Kent.

A ship blows up in the sky.

A figure drops down to Earth.

I microwave some pizza rolls.

The figure is DOOMSDAY!

ACTION!

And I’m bored.

Final Thoughts

A slow start, for sure, and the issue is predicated on previous knowledge that a) the real Superman is dead, and b) this is a completely different universe or something? And now fake Clark is taking it upon himself to fill the role of Superman, which is something he should be doing anyway, right?

This Doomsday shit is going to be hella boring, I can already tell.

I love comics! Can’t you tell?!?!


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Jane’s Journey, Chapter 5 – A Meeting with Master Vigo

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In Ironsworn, you are a hero sworn to undertake perilous quests in the dark fantasy setting of the Ironlands. You will explore untracked wilds, fight desperate battles, forge bonds with isolated communities, and reveal the secrets of this harsh land. Most importantly, you will swear iron vows and see them fulfilled—no matter the cost.

Eren is very talkative, for better or for worse. The young man had been in Winterwood but two days and already knew the lay of the land as if he were born and bred here. “I’m from Hidden Brook in the north of the Havens. It doesn’t take that long to get here in horse a carriage, not really. Father was going to join me on my trip here, but he had to tend to his books. My father is a bookkeeper for the House of Sarda, he’s very important. I don’t want to keep books, I’d rather mix potions. Alchemy is the key. Alchemy is the future of humanity! I’m going to learn how to mix new and better medicines, create more valuable gems and stones, even better metals for weapons and armor! If one is interested, of course. I’m not much interested in fighting or battles or wars or anything of the sort. Is that a bow?”

I became acutely self-conscious of the bow and quiver knocking against my back with each step. “Alchemy sounds very… lucrative,” I said conversationally. My legs still ached from the wolf fights, but the poultices were doing their good work.

“Oh yes! One can pursue an outstanding career in alchemy; there are so many different disciplines one could study, as well. Herbology, medicine, metallurgy, astronomy, metaphysics, divination…”

While Eren talked up alchemy, I looked around at everyone in town as they worked and socialized. It was so much like Wolfspire that I felt quite at home. Modest thatched houses, women sweeping shopfronts with brooms, women and children hanging clothes on clotheslines, a smithy working an anvil, wardens and mercenaries roaming the streets. No castle grounds in Winterwood, however. And, of course, there was an enormous structure on one end of the town that I assumed was the college. I felt foolish for thinking I needed help finding such a place, you can see it from any vantage point in town.

We eventually arrived at the front gates of the school. The high noon sun blared with a heat that was unseasonably warm for summer in the Tempest Hills. Definitely a change after the chilly travels I had undertaken yesterday. “Say, Eren? You are following the potion discipline, as you’ve said?” I might be lucky enough to acquire this draught right now with enough smooth-talking. “Who is your master of potions?”

“That would be Master Vigo!” Eren responded excitedly. “He is the most knowledgeable potions master the college has had in over 300 years! More clever than Master Jaggar and more resourceful than Master Davin. Why, j–”

“Thank you, Eren. Could it possible to be introduced to him? As a Lady of the House of Kormack, I’m sure he would be very interested to hear the current plight of my village.” I felt very confident at this point, but Eren appeared to let his nerves get to him. “I-i-introduce you to him? Gods, I don’t know him well enough myself. I wouldn’t want to make a poor impression. What if he doesn’t remember my name, or worse, he finds me too jumbled and incoherent and I make a complete fool out of myself! My father would cane me if he was sent a letter that his only son were expelled from university before class was even in session! I–”

“Thank you, Eren. Perhaps I can introduce myself, then, if you could show me his quarters,” I nudged. The relief on Eren’s face lit the room. “Certainly, I suppose that would be all right. He’s a very patient man, after all. And a noblewoman like yourself would be able to get his ear as good as any. I’ll show you to the door, but we must part ways, Lady Jane, as I will need to find all my books at the library. Gods, how will I carry them all back to the inn by myself? I wish I could have access to my dormitory early. I’d–”

“Thank you, Eren.” He showed me up the stairs to Master Vigo’s large chambers. We bid each other farewell and I knocked lightly on the chamber door.

“Come!” said a not unfriendly voice behind the door. I opened the large stone door and entered an impossibly gigantic chamber. The back wall was just large window. The side walls were just shelves overflowing with books, bottles, vials, mysterious liquids, small cauldrons, feathers, herbs and plants, burning candles, loose sheets of parchment, terrariums with frogs, birds, insects, and fish, alive and dead. The desk at the center was cluttered with much of the same materials, as was even parts of the floor. Massive star charts splayed on the floor, a large bubbling cauldron over a fire in the corner. The man himself sat behind his desk frantically penning notes into a journal. “Good afternoon, boy. Are you one of my new students?”

This greeting was already awkward. I tried to clear my dry throat, realizing immediately that I was much more bashful than I expected. “No, sir. I mean, master. My name is Lady Jane of the House of Kormack in Wolfspire.” I waited for a response. It didn’t come. “I am not here as a beggar. That is, I don’t mean to beg. Er…” I steeled myself. “Master, there is a Sickness sweeping my village and our healer Hirsham instructed me… rather, politely asked me for help to… um…”

Master Vigo’s stony face brightened. “Hirsham? My star student Hirsham is healing in Wolfspire? So close! And yet, he finds it unnecessary to pay a visit to his old potions master here and again? Oh, no bother. Healing is a toilsome occupation, and I suspect that he cannot find the time to pull himself away from his duties. Yes, yes. Lady Jane, is it?” he asked me absent-mindedly. “If Hirsham needs my help, then I’d be happy to oblige. Presuming, of course, that I can help. Even a potions master doesn’t have everything.”

“Yes, of course master. The potion is called a Draught of Healing Miasma. Hirsham tells me that it can–”

“You have stumbled upon good fortune, Lady Jane, as I have three flasks of this draught on hand. Not very easy to concoct, but perhaps it can be an extra credit opportunity for my students.” Master Vigo ascended a ladder to a shelf near the back of his chamber and pulled down a bottle. It was sensational to me that he knew where to find it among all the mess. “I can wrap it in a cloth to keep it safe in your sack,” he said, pointing at the old bag hanging from my shoulder. “That’s where you will be carrying it, yes?”

“What? No? Yes! Yes, and I’ll be very careful with it, sir. Master,” I stammered. What was wrong with me? A 19-year-old noblewoman should not be this intimidated by a man of education. “My village thanks you profusely for your assistance, master.” The success of acquiring the potion emboldened me to nudge further. “Hirsham also advised me to ask you for help on a very personal matter, if that is all right?”

Master Vigo waved his hand at me as he descended the ladder. “Yes, yes, out with it.” He returned to his desk and started poring over a large tome.

“Um… I have been having some very intrusive recurring dreams as of late. I wonder if, perhaps, you have a cure? A draught for dreamless sleep? Or, uhm, I don’t know. Do you have something? I can pay you back in some way, although I do not have coin or much to barter.”

Master Vigo returned my request with a gaze. “A draught for dreamless sleep…” he responded as if I had just said something quite witless. “No, Lady Jane, ingredients for a potion to abate nightmares are rare in the Tempest Hills.” He pulled out a scrap of parchment and penned a few notes. “Here is what you need for such a potion.” He handed me the scrap of parchment. The handwriting was illegible. “I cannot think of another building in the Ironlands with more potions and ingredients than this chamber, so it is unlikely that you’ll find anything in the bottom drawer of a peasant’s bedside dresser. You’ll find most of these ingredients south of the Hinterlands. My luck goes out to you, Lady Jane.” Master Vigo returned to his book.

“Uhm…” I said again. It felt as though there was still more to this conversation. “Sir?”

Master Vigo looked up again. “We don’t get many travelers from Wolfspire. Since you endeavor to make your way back to your village, you can help me tremendously with a request of my own.” He pointed his quill at me. “You look quite formidable for nobility. I’m missing a few volumes of Principles of Incantations for Sagittarian Potion Systems, and Wolfstone has a subsidiary library of the college. The road to the town is halfway between here and Wolfspire, I believe. I am in no hurry, but it would be a tremendous favor to me.”

At this point, I figured that I owed Master Vigo this at the very, very least. “I swear an iron vow that I will help you retrieve these books.”

Quest #2
Collect Books for Master Vigo from Wolfstone

“Good lass. Again, there is no hurry on this matter. I have plenty of material for my students this year without these volumes. My shelves just feel empty without them.”

“Yes, master,” I said, finally gingerly placing the bottle of healing potion in my sack. “I promise I will someday fulfill my vow.”

And with that, I turned around and left the college.

Click here for all the boring game-related notes! On second thought, don’t bother!

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The Dragon Reborn (Book 3) – Chapter 21: “A World of Dreams”

The Wheel of Time - Book 3 - The Dragon Reborn

Egwene’s been scrubbing pots and floors and tables for about 61 straight hours and her poor little hands hurt too much, oh no. Following her chores, she makes her way to Verin’s quarters after being summoned by the Brown Ajah herself.

Verin lives above the library down some corridors that barely anyone travels through. Her room is filled with papers, books, oddities, lit candles that threaten to burn down the White Tower, and an owl. Verin is absent-mindedly perusing a text that might be the only copy of its kind, something she’s been looking at for forty years without being able to assign any meaning toward (so it’s likely very important; too bad I’m forgetting about it immediately).

THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE SUMMONED EGWENE FOR, THOUGH. The Aes Sedai presents to the young woman a stack of information about Liandrin, the women who went with her, and the ter’angreal that they stole from the chambers. Verin deems it incredibly useless, but maybe Egwene can figure something out from the rubbish.

THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE REALLY SUMMONDED EGWENE FOR, THOUGH! All this talk of Egwene being a possible Dreamer had piqued Verin’s curiosity. There hasn’t been a Dreamer among the Aes Sedai since Corianin Nedeal from almost 500 years ago! And she barely was one anyway, matter of fact. Just a loony basket case space cadet slut, honestly.

Verin explains the ideas of alternate worlds and how both the Creator and the Dark One inhabit each one simulataneously. A third constant is the Unseen World — Tel’aran’rhiod — which either lies in all worlds simulatneously OR surrounds all the worlds completely. Some people are known to enter it by accident, but a Dreamer can enter the Unseen World deliberately. Verin gives Egwene a ring that used to belong to Corianin Nedeal. It is described as harder than steel and denser than lead. It’s a ter’angreal that the former Dreamer had for most of her life, and now it’s Egwene’s. Take it and be grateful. Verin was studying it for a long time but then she got really, really bored of it.

Oh yeah, and the Unseen World isn’t like a dream. Whatever happens there actually happened. You can get hurt there or die there, so have fun!

Verin shoos Egwene away and returns to studying her Burger King receipts. She also has Corianin Nedeal’s old notes. She muses over burning them. She muses over giving them to Egwene. In the end she decides to hang onto them and see what happens.


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