2023 is over! Chandler Bing died! Hamas decided to be dicks! Trump got slapped with so many criminal charges that he decided to run for president again in order to try to dodge all of it! Did I mention that Chandler Bing died?!

I am chagrined to admit that I didn’t listen to as much new music in 2023 as I usually do. First of all, I didn’t find many of the releases particularly interesting. Second of all, I was listening to so much Frank Zappa and King Crimson that my eardrums exploded, rendering me unable to hear sounds ever again. In spite of all that, I was able to scrounge up 25 albums that I very much enjoyed! And now, dear reader, you will get to know first hand what Tom picked! Isn’t that exciting?!

No?? Well, too bad. Here they are anyway.

#25 – Militarie Gun – Life Under the Gun

I hate pop punk but I like pop-like punk, and Militarie Gun’s debut is definitely the type of pop-like punk that doesn’t make me want to go back to high school in 2003 and punch every emo kid right in the teeth. Drug Church’s Hygiene was one of my favorite albums of 2022, and Life Under the Gun feels like a spiritual successor. It hearkens to the pre-grunge-era post-hardcore; the good shit. Hüsker Dü. The Replacements. Minutemen. Militarie Gun? You got it!

#24 – Amplifier – Hologram

Amplifier has a knack for making progressive rock sound heavy and manly! Porcupine Tree meets Soundgarden meets Hawkwind. Hologram is so dense and rich in sound that it’s hard to believe that it’s the work of just two people. Riff heavy, melodic, and occasionally psychedelic, the album will take you through channels in your mind that few others can tap into. As a longtime fan of Amplifier, I love hearing snippets of all eras of the band in Hologram. The mark of a fully-realized and confident band. Don’t sleep on this one.

#23 – MSPAINT – Post-American

“MSPAINT” is the perfect name for this band, because the music sounds like the kind of hilarious and splotchy art I used to make in high school to impress the other members of this one shitty message board I used to frequent… and… uh… be a moderator of. Anyway, Post-American is a diorama of colorful synthy punk excess and electronic bleeps and bloops and a shouty man. It makes for an addictive listen in the right mood! And I’m always in the right mood!

#22 – a.P.A.t.T – We

My inner teenager will always love any effort to try the Mr. Bungle formula of throwing everything under the sun against a wall and seeing what sticks. And then picking up what fell on the floor and making it stick. And then hitting the wall with a sledgehammer. a.P.A.t.T has a certain maturity to their sound that Mike Patton — god bless his 55-year-old soul — will never achieve. We is a smorgasbord of heartful, genre-bending music, and you know I don’t throw the word “smorgasbord” around lightly!

#21 – jaimie branch – Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((world war))

Jaimie Branch died! But before she died, she had an album almost ready to go that her band and her family helped mix and master. What you listen before your ears is a boundary-pushing album of psychedelic trumpet jazz that could be described as a Bitches Brew for the modern generation! OK, that might be pushing it a tad too far, but there is a cover of Meat Puppets’ “The Mountain” which I think is gnarly as shit! I’m not smart enough to review jazz, but I know what I like, and I like this. Too bad she died, though. I would’ve liked to hear what could’ve been next.

#20 – Lankum- False Lankum

Learn everything there is to know about traditional Irish folk music. OK? Got it? Now forget everything you know about traditional Irish folk music. That’s Lankum’s False Lankum! Murky, drone-y ballads and off-kilter, slightly odd traditional tunes makes for something that sounds like it was recorded on a dreary, overcast day on the edge of a cliff in Ireland while the apocalypse rolls in over the horizon. Hypnotic, absorbing, eerie, and fun! Lots of fun! The most fun you’re going to have listening to the brownest album since Ween’s The Pod. Maybe.

#19 – Dream Nails – Doom Loop

Dream Nails gets a little bit more artsy with their newest album. The usual riot grrrl punk energy is in full force and incorporated with nuanced balladry, post-punk moods, angular song structures, and fierce feminist lyrics. It’s the kind of album that begs not to be reviewed by a shitty man like me, so I’ll respect that and close this out now.

#18 – Amoeba Split – Quiet Euphoria

If you’re looking for some humble instrumental jazz-prog rock with no cheap thrills or excessive fucking keyboards, Amoeba Split’s third fantastic album Quiet Euphoria is your cup of Canterbury tea! The six-piece outfit weaves together an engaging, comfortable tapestry of smooth, atmospheric vibraphone solos and retro saxophone and all manner of throwback Soft Machine-type weirdness. It won’t annoy you too much, I promise.

#17 – Skull Practitioners – Negative Stars

Psychedelic rock doesn’t have to sound like early Pink Floyd or Cream. It can sound like Skull Practitioners, which sounds like fuzzed out, lo-fi surf/space post-punk with crunchy garage rock solos and a few vocalists shouting at you. Surprisingly varied and never uninteresting, Negative Stars is probably the best fuzzed out, lo-fi, surf/space post-punk psychedelic rock album of 2023! Now there’s an endorsement!

#16 – Alkaloid – Numen

You won’t find a metal album much more colorful and unpredictable than Alkaloid’s Numen. Boasting 70 minutes of proggy technical death metal, the band’s third album has more twists and turns than my lower intestine! I usually don’t like an overlong, bloated slab of an album, but there’s not a single lull to be found. Fun, fun, fun!

#15 – Iggy Pop- EVERY LOSER

Iggy Pop is a gross 76-year-old man and he’s not afraid to let you know that he knows that you know this. EVERY LOSER stands out to me as a bit more meta than his usual work, with songs like “Frenzy”, “Modern Day Ripoff”, and “Neo Punk” espousing, or perhaps subverting, his many outward personas. Every angle of Iggy Pop, baby, that’s what you get on EVERY LOSER. And the old guy proves he can still rock and not have it seem embarrassing. I don’t feel that way about Alice Cooper, and I love Alice Cooper at least 2.5 times more than I love Iggy Pop.

#14 – Tardigrade Inferno – Burn the Circus

Female-fronted circus metal from Russia. Yes, please! Manic, creepy, macabre, and all around a joy to listen to if you’re into avantgarde metal like Dog Fashion Disco or Stolen Babies. If you’re not into this kind of music — and I don’t blame you — you’ll find a lot to hate! But it’s not my fault if you don’t like fun. Work on that.

#13 – Obsidian Tide – The Grand Crescendo

I’ll forgive the fact that this Tel Aviv-based Opethian progressive metal act decided to sing and English and they suck at it. The music is sweeping and beautiful; alternating between clean and harsh vocals; alternating between moodiness and bombast. It’s the most dynamic metal album I’ve heard all year. Just try not to listen to the guy’s voice and we’ll all be jake.

#12 – Decisive Pink – Ticket to Fame

This dreamy collaboration between Kate NV and Angel Deradoorian is a minimalistic, retro-futuristic pop experience. Catchy melodies and krautrock rhythms, weirdo back-and-forth vocals between the two, it’s equally funny and charming. I like this kind of stuff though. Anything that reminds me of Stereolab is a win in my book, or Tangerine Dream or Broadcast or Cluster or Harmonia or Kraftwerk or Vanishing Twin or Virginia Wing or… you know what? This album is good. That’s all.

#11 – Anareta – Fear Not

Now this is cool. Blackened doom metal featuring a chamber orchestra trio (violin, viola, cello). Is it actually metal? Is it gloomy gothic rock? Off-putting contemporary classical? None of the above? ALL of the above? Whatever you want to call it, it’s thoroughly entertaining and brimming with ambiance. Crank it while you sit alone in a darkened castle chamber to feel the full effect! I highly recommend it!

#10 – Yves Tumor – Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds)

Yves Tumor’s music defies categorization. It’s like gospel and R&B meets shoegaze grunge rave rock. I hear elements of Smashing Pumpkins, Prince, and Faith No More. Yet, the sum of all of its parts is something unique and hauntingly beautiful. Catchy and weird and packed with hooks that take multiple listens to solidify. I got a lot out of Praise a Lord… and you would too if you even had a fucking iota of good taste. Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking about you.

#9 – Osees – Intercepted Message

Osees — or OCS, or The Oh Sees, or Thee Oh Sees, or Oh Sees, or whatever else John Dwyer may want to call his garage rock project in 2024 — put out the most vibrant and focused album in years with Intercepted Message. OK, maybe not entirely focused since the music jumps schizophrenically between art pop and disco and synth rock and back and forth and all the way around again, but the spirit is there within the upbeat and silly energy. If this is the new direction that Osees is going to take for a few rounds then I’m all for it.

#8 – 100 gecs – 10,000 gecs

Have you ever listened to a band that was so stupid and tacky that you felt dumb for enjoying it? Well, take that band and add some outdated autotune and hyperactive sugar-coated glitch and you have 100 gecs. Thrash metal guitars, trap beats, skankin’ third-wave ska, 10,000 gecs has everything you need to hate music forever and then love it all over again. It’s an exercise in excess! Listening to this album is like eating an entire brick of fudge in one sitting: you regret the pain and misery after it’s done, but you’ll be damned if you’re not going back for more later.

#7 – Bear Ghost – Jiminy

Oh man, guys, Bear Ghost is like a blast to the past for me. Some of that tongue-and-cheek deranged carnival music / swing jazz / avantgarde metal with Eastern European / Middle Eastern instruments and a tornado of odd time signatures and genre shifts. I will never not like this kind of music, and with Jiminy the band’s flow is so smooth that it doesn’t take 45 listens to get into it. Just a pleasing, creative album with no pretense of higher artistic aspirations. Junk food music. It’s delicious and worthy of a Top 10 from me, because it’s my blog and I call all the shots!

#6 – Ratboys – The Window

I was disappointed with a lot of meat-and-potatoes indie rock this year, but Ratboys’ fifth album checked a lot of boxes for me. Simple, good melodies with stylistic diversity ranging from cowpunk to country-folk to extended classic rock jamming. Pretty much every song is great and easy to digest, making this one of the most replayable albums of 2023. And that’s saying something since I listen to albums exactly once before making sweeping, set-in-stone judgments!

#5 – Poppy – Zig

Poppy rules because she started out as a pop-happy Barbie-like figure and turned into this alt-industrial metal act. And then she turned back to pop — off-kilter pop — with Zig, the Poppyiest album of 2023! With lines like “Life is a commercial for death” and “Never put your grimy hands on my steering wheel“, you can see that there’s an insidious side to the sunny exterior. In short, this is my kind of shit.

#4 – Deena Abdelwahed – Jbal Rrsas

I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on techno, let alone the Tunisian-born France-based DJ Deena Abdelwahed, but I just know that Jbal Rrsas is way fucking cool. If this is what North African electronic music sounds like, then sign me up. Sonically diverse and rhythmically addictive, Abdelwahed brings warmth with her synthy EDM beats and proves that you don’t ever, ever have to listen to Skrillex ever again.

#3 – Abstract Concrete – Abstract Concrete

You would think that a dry, stuffy, nasally British man’s voice singing barely on-key over some cool string arrangements and keyboard harmonies wouldn’t be worth more than a single listen as a novelty, but it’s an acquired taste! I hated this record when I first heard it, and I’m putting it at #3?? Maybe it’s because, more than every other album I’ve heard this year, this one actually pushes the boundaries of beauty and noise. And improvisation, don’t forget that. I don’t hear much viola over cacophonous drumming and yelling much anymore these days. Abstract Concrete hits a lot of notes and emotions and feelings and pulls them off splendidly. Whether you believe that is up to you! Yes, you!

#2 – Caroline Polachek – Desire, I Want to Turn Into You

I listened to Polachek’s previous album Pang and I was disappointed. Had I listened to Pang first, I probably wouldn’t have tried Desire, I Want to Turn Into You at all. But this album is the tits, as the kids say. Originally not too impressed, this album is the very definition of a grower. After a bunch of listens you can be like “wow, this is a pretty good pop album” and then you can be like “this is what I wish Charli XCX sounded like” and then you can be like “Charli XCX is hot, though, and she knows it” and then you start listening to Charli XCX instead. But this Polachek album is really good! Great, even! Fantastic! OK, I’m done.

#1 – jellyskin – In Brine

I can’t say I fell head over heels in love with any particular album in 2023, but I was definitely the most entertained by jellyskin’s debut than by any other. Taking the top spot is an album brimming with watery electronic dance beats, impeccable pop hooks, soaring synth lines, and surprisingly haunting vocals. An album so nuanced that I am REWARDED with something new with each listen. My personal favorite is “52 Blue”, a song piled high with so many different melodies that it threatens to topple right out of your ears. That was a shitty sentence, but this is not a shitty album. Give it a listen before I turn this car around.